One type of customer who irritates me beyond belief is the one, who upon being seated, tries to order from the hostess. When that doesn’t work s/he says, “We’re ready to order now” as soon as I approach the table with water. This is usually said with the right amount of panic and a wild eyed look.
What this person should say instead is, “A lack of planning on my part has created an emergency on your part and everyone who got here before me can go fuck themselves.”
The thing is, I can guarantee they are NOT ready to order. I can guarantee what they want is for me to stand at their table for five to seven minutes while they and their family look at the menu. I can guarantee I will have to repeat the side dishes to each and every one of them because they are too busy frantically reading the menu to pay attention. I can also guarantee every other customer in my section will be pissed off because these people got special treatment.
Here’s the deal: Wait your turn!! Plan ahead!! Contrary to what my manager thinks, I am pretty fast and efficient and since I do this for a living, things work better when you do it MY WAY. You will get your food in time to go to the rodeo. I will save the day for you. But if you think I am going to piss off three or four other tables just to make you happy, you are very mistaken.