The Sand Artist

Recently, I was looking at a few job applications which were dropped off at the front desk. I usually amuse myself with all the bad grammar and misspelled words, but one woman’s past job experience caught my eye. She was a sand artist.

I am a very crafty person. I quilt, knit, crochet, paint, bead, tie dye, tie hemp, and anything else I can think of to keep me from cleaning my house. Last year I wanted to learn to make lampwork beads, but the instructor told me I didn’t have the attention span to play with a propane torch.

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The idea of sand art brought back memories of Girl Scout camp where we made sand candles.

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Mine were always wobbly and most were missing the wicks, but they were great fun to make. Truth be told, Girl Scout Camp was on Casper Mountain where sand is a rarity so the candles were more aptly named Hard Packed Dirt & Rock Candles, but what the heck, what girl doesn’t like playing with hot wax until puberty shows us what it’s really for?

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Then another thought hit me: Maybe the sand artist made sand paintings like the Navajo Indians.

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If I had the sand artist as a captive, I mean, co-worker, she could teach me how to make sand paintings to wow my friends and family.

But then my mind immediately thought of bottle sand art.

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Even though this stuff is a little juvenile, it can still be fun. Picking out and blending the colours in an interesting container is a project that could keep me busy for days.

But what about:

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Now that stuff is cool! Way better than a ship in a bottle. Not only picking out and blending colours, but getting the sand in the bottle, and having it make pictures, too. Holy buckets! Screw all of my lame crafting projects, I want to make sand bottle art and my new co-worker (because at this juncture in my thought process, I had decided I would do anything to get her hired) would show me the way.

Hold the phone! What about beach sand art?

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I was nearly swooning with the possibilities. We (oh yes, we were already great friends) would travel to the competitions in California and win prize money and huge trophies. We would travel around the world creating sand sculptures. We would be famous!

All of these thoughts and images passed through my brain in the time it took for me to exclaim to the night manager, “A sand artist? Where did she learn that?”

Subway. She was a sand.(wich) artist.

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. darcknyt
    Jun 22, 2009 @ 00:25:55

    AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    … Oh, sweetie, you kill me. This is masterful.

    Reply

  2. steve
    Jun 22, 2009 @ 12:15:31

    Had me hook line and sinker….what did the fire have do with the subject…..Zman sends

    Reply

  3. Holly
    Jun 22, 2009 @ 16:05:07

    My attention span is so short, if I played with a propane torch to make lampwork beads, I would most likely burn my house down. Haha!

    Reply

  4. Sherri
    Jun 23, 2009 @ 17:34:05

    I am laughing my freaking ass off right now. This post is a masterpiece. Oh, Knyt already said that. Oh well, it is. LMAO, really.

    Can I link to this post, or are you shy?

    Reply

  5. Holly
    Jun 23, 2009 @ 18:12:14

    Link away!!

    Reply

  6. Donald Mills
    Nov 30, 2009 @ 17:19:50

    Had me hook, line and sinker as well. That was damned funny – thanks so much for sharing the link to this post.

    You’re welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed it and thanks for stopping by.

    Reply

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