Sweating Makes Me Fat

I know it does.

In the summer, the restaurant stays at an uncomfortable 100 degrees and I’m usually soaked in sweat five minutes after my shift starts. After 5 hours I know I smell like a goat.

I try to put myself in a happy place, like January, but it doesn’t help when all the customers are complaining.

“Is your air conditioner broken?” Nope, it’s working just like always.

“Don’t you have air conditioning?” Only in the winter.

“Can you turn the air conditioner on?” Geez, why didn’t I think of that?

“It’s hot in here.” Wow! I hadn’t noticed. Pardon me while I struggle to keep my sweat from dripping on your table.

I am short, fat and white. I belong in a cold environment. I’m not trying to be all Jimmy, the Greek here, but short, fat, white people do not do well in extreme heat.

When you sweat, you are losing water weight, but since I have to drink about 4 gallons of water to keep from passing out on the floor, I’m taking in much more than I’m putting out. I can hear myself sloshing when I walk to my car at night. Then, when I go to bed, all that excess water plumps up my fat cells to the point my shorts don’t fit.

What my future holds if I don’t stop sweating.

Every spring we hear how the cooling system is going to be fixed. By the time the 4th of July rolls around we have resigned ourselves to working in the 3rd ring of Hell. The forecast this week is calling for temperatures in the 90s. I can feel my shorts clinging to my ass already.


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. darcknyt
    Jun 24, 2009 @ 11:29:43

    Okay, that picture is just WAY too close to life for me to be comfortable.

    And why DON'T they fix the A/C? What's up with THAT? Don't they WANT customers? If it were me — and this is just me, mind you — I'd probably walk out of a place with no A/C in a hot summer while vacationing. I mean, I'm on VACATION. If I wanted to ROUGH it I'd be eating something I killed or found over a camp fire in the woods, y'know?

    Just my $.02 on that, but again, it's just me.


  2. Holly
    Jun 24, 2009 @ 14:40:28

    If I go into a restaurant and it's hot, I find somewhere else to eat. Apparently, not everyone feels that way.


  3. Vanessa
    Jun 24, 2009 @ 15:23:08

    Reminds me of the time I was working in a soda fountain place and the A/C broke. Imagine, going into a 100 degree ice cream place in the summer. At least I had the big walk in freezer to take moments to cool off – but you? I so feel your pain! All the workers where you are should strike until that A/C is fixed!


  4. Holly
    Jun 25, 2009 @ 00:23:00

    Tonight I had three tables get their food to go after I seated them and took their order. They decided to walk back to their air conditioned hotel rooms rather than sweat their way through dinner. It is ridiculous.


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