The Definition of ‘Rude’

Last night a group of five people came in and when I tried to seat them at Table 10, a six person booth, one of the women scrunched up her face like I was offering her a platter of poop and asked to sit at Table 16.  Table 16 is a four person booth and two women in the party were…how do I put this delicately…FAT.  One had no neck and the other could barely walk.  No way in hell were they all fitting in a four person booth.  So instead of saying, “Your fat asses won’t fit” or “I guess counting isn’t your forte,” I said, “I’m sorry, but that section is closed.”

So they looked around and the spokeswoman asked, “How about that table?” as she motioned to Table 11, also a six person booth.  I was a little confused and asked, “What is the difference?”  One of the fatties said, “I don’t like to sit in a booth.”

Okaay…you don’t like to sit in a booth, but you’ve picked out two of them.  What it boils down to is you want to be disagreeable and sit anywhere other than where I’m trying to seat you.

One of the guys pointed to Table 15, a four person picnic table, and asked, “Can we sit there?”  Well, you STILL can’t count, but I can push Tables 14 & 15 together so “Sure, no problem.”  I walked to Table 15 with the intention of pushing it with my hip, but one of the fatties cut in front of me, nearly knocked me down and plopped her big ass on the bench.  I asked, “May I push these tables together so you can have more room?” (BECAUSE YOU WON’T FUCKING FIT AT ONE OF THEM AND I CAN’T PUSH IT WHEN YOUR FAT ASS IS ON IT.)

I placed their menus on the tables, told them Amanda would be their server & thanked them for coming to the restaurant.

The first thing they said to Amanda when she got to their table was that I was rude to them.  I was not rude.  They were being stupid and disagreeable.  When they paid their ticket, the spokeswoman told Kir I was horribly rude (I’m improving; from rude to horribly rude) and shouldn’t be allowed to ( live ) work at the restaurant.  She asked, “Don’t we get to sit where we want?”  No, that’s why the sign reads, “Please wait to be seated” rather than “Sit wherever the fuck you want.”  She further complained that they came “all the way over here” (from Lovell, where they breed with kinfolk) and I completely “ruined their night”. 

No, what ruined their night was Kir and Amanda watched and heard the entire exchange and neither were willing to give them a free meal or to even discuss it with the manager.  Their ticket was $110 and they tipped Amanda two dollars, a whopping 1.8%. 

Now, that’s rude.


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. darcknyt
    Nov 09, 2009 @ 12:13:30

    I have nothing to say about being fat. I'm fat. I will say, however, that I've had to point out how fat I am to people and ask them to re-seat me to a more ass-appropriate area. Booths scare me.

    And what is up with people tipping like that?


  2. Holly
    Nov 09, 2009 @ 12:46:16

    I can understand some people not liking booths, but why did they keep picking them out???


  3. DarcsFalcon
    Nov 09, 2009 @ 16:03:56

    Why didn't they ask to sit at a table in the first place??

    And not to tip? RUDE! The very definition of.

    Isn't it nice to realize you have that much power over people, that you can totally ruin their evening without even trying? You must be magic. 😉


  4. Holly
    Nov 09, 2009 @ 22:35:38

    Asking for a table is so simple and so easily granted. Playing "guess what I want" tends to piss everyone off.

    If I'm so magic and powerful that I can ruin evenings in a single bound, why can't I convince them to give me all their money?


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