House of a Thousand Animals

Fleur, the duck is living in the house full time now.  She refuses to go outside even on a nice day.  She has a kiddie pool that I drag from room to room depending on where she has to be in relation to the dogs.

In addition to the mounds of dog hair everywhere in my house, I now have feathers.  Feathers in my mouth, feathers in my food, feathers on my clothes, feathers in the shower.  My co-workers are used to picking dog hair off me, but they are a little weirded out by the feathers.  I’ve tried to pass it off as a new down coat.  They aren’t buying it.

Ducks are very social birds and she has decided the dogs are her best friends.  Okay, not all the dogs.  She doesn’t like Otis.  Maybe because he stares.

Otis is the Grand Master of Staring. He also medaled in Relentlessness, Intimidation and Just Plain Being Annoying.

The dogs do not share this feeling of cross-species love.  Fleur runs to Sienna for protection, which freaks Sienna out because she is no friend of small things.  She tends to eat small things.  But she knows she isn’t supposed to touch Fleur when I’m around.  Maggie also keeps her distance since she is unable to be nice and she’s been in trouble for showing her lovely white teeth to Fleur.

So that leaves Halo.  Fleur is in love with Halo.  She preens, flaps her wings, and acts like she’s taking a bath when Halo is around.  This is a duck mating ritual.  I don’t know what Fleur is thinking, but it isn’t happening in my house.

Did I say Fleur runs to Sienna?  Yes.  That’s because she only stays in the pool while I’m watching.  As soon as I leave the room she hops out of the pool and runs around the house.  At night I can hear her slappy, happy feet going up and down the hall as she QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!s for her “friends”.  I can also hear her chasing the cat around, hissing at him while he knocks things over in his frantic haste to get the hell away from her.  Ducks hate cats. 

Is it any wonder I’m exhausted.


6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. DarcKnyt
    Jan 03, 2010 @ 14:58:25

    A regular zoo goin’ on out there! Nothing like a game of dog, dog duck to keep things interesting. 🙂

    Dogs and ducks don’t mix. They require constant supervision or I’ll have a bloody feather pillow.


  2. Sherri
    Jan 03, 2010 @ 15:14:46

    The duck’s trying to mate with the dog, that’s hilarious. I really love ducks and geese. They have great personalities.

    I had a drake named Gael who had the coolest personality. The dogs killed him a couple of years ago and since then Fleur has tried to mate with same sex ducks and now a same sex dog. Stupid lesbian duck.


  3. DarcsFalcon
    Jan 03, 2010 @ 17:06:09

    What a menagerie!

    I had a pet duck when I was little, but it was an outdoor duck. I remember my father – who’s idea it was to get me the duck – pissing and moaning about having to hose off the porch all the time. So he gave my duck to a friend of his, who had a cat, that promptly decided duck was an excellent meal.

    Ahh, that’s too bad about the duck. All my cats, both inside and out, give the duck a wide berth. Of course, this is a duck and not a duckling and a big duck at that. She chases cats out of her yard and now out of her house.

    I remember that porch, and I can’t imagine how you manage that in the house! Yes, no wonder you’re exhausted! That is indeed a chore of epic proportions!

    She really isn’t all that messy, except for the feathers. Then again, my house is set up for animals…wood and tile floors…and any mess can be cleaned up with a broom and/or mop.


  4. whatigotsofar
    Jan 04, 2010 @ 05:25:55

    Last time there was a duck in my house, it was on the dinner table being feasted upon.

    😦 I’m covering Fleur’s eyes so she can’t read that horrible sentence.

    Is a duck really a pet-able animal? I think the better pet would be a chicken. They don’t fly and their eggs are better for eats.

    Ducks can be pets, but she’s been an outside duck for most of her life so she looks at me like I’m about to put her in the soup pot.

    I HATE CHICKENS!!! They do fly…right up in my hair. Bastards. Pekin ducks are too big and fat to fly. Fleur occasionally thinks she can fly and she gets about 3 inches off the ground before giving up.


  5. Vicki
    Jun 04, 2011 @ 17:06:43

    OMG! You’re going to make me cry with all of these stories because I’m laughing so hard…=D

    It is something like a circus around here.


  6. beansprowtcrocodile
    Jun 21, 2012 @ 12:44:29

    I love reading all of these animal stories, you should write a book!! You have a knack for making everything in ordinary life sound just so FUNNY!

    Thank you! I get nagged about a book all the time, but my attention span is…oh look, something shiny!


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