New Year’s Resolution

My only New Year’s resolution was to start getting more exercise so my fat pants would stop cutting off the circulation to my legs.  I have dogs I can walk, but I’ve found walking three of them on a leash is a lot less exercise than you would think.  In the winter it’s like driving a team of sled dogs without the sled.  It’s pretty much the same thing in the summer, just less snow and more rocks.

Years ago I bought a stair climber thingy and I immediately stuffed it in the spare bedroom and forgot about it.  As the end of January loomed before me and I hadn’t made a single effort to follow through on my resolution, I dragged the stair climber thingy out of the spare bedroom and stepped on it.

The first step down caused the machine to make a horrible creaking squeak and the dogs to flee.  I tried to put it off as the machine being broken, but it was the result of the pulley sitting unused and dusty.  Since everything was in working order I mustered through 20 minutes of squeaking and groaning (from the machine, not me). 

The dogs, however, were more than a little terrified.  Halo perched on the bed, staring at me with huge unblinking eyes.  Even when I took my sweatshirt off and threw it at her, she never moved.  That’s when I wondered if the stair climber was saying things to her, specifically,  “You’re going back to the shelter, shelter, shelter.”

It must have been whispering dirty secrets to her because when I moved to the floor to stretch, she didn’t flip out and jump all over me.  She laid down beside me and put her head on my hand and went to sleep.  This is very un-Halo-ish behaviour.

It has been two weeks since then and I haven’t been on the stair climber again.  My excuse is that it scares the dogs, but really anything that makes them take it down a notch from batshit insane is all right with me.  The truth is I’m lazy and unmotivated.  I need some motivation.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kate
    Feb 02, 2010 @ 01:33:24

    OMG Dr Phil! I watched him once being horrible to some woman who’d slimmed down only to put it all back on. She’d done some sort of motivation course he’d organised, not quite sure. But I am certain sure that he couldn’t motivate a fight between two bikie gangs.

    HAHA! I don’t really know who he is, but the caption fit me perfectly…if it has sugar, I’ll probably eat it.

    Reply

  2. DarcKnyt
    Feb 02, 2010 @ 09:38:16

    I think we ALL could use a little anti-fat motivation. When you locate it, let me know and I’ll see if I can muster the spare money to get some.

    HA!

    Good luck. 🙂

    Well, I figure if I get on the stair climber and terrify the dogs once a month it will be worth something.

    Reply

  3. DarcsFalcon
    Feb 02, 2010 @ 16:01:15

    I’m looking for that motivation too. I know I put it someplace, I just can’t remember where. If I find it though I’ll be sure to let you know. In the meantime, you can keep your stair climber thingy next to our Total-Gym-wannabe thingy. They can be friends. 🙂

    The last exercise bike I had ended up being a coat rack. I don’t know why I bother buying such stuff.

    Reply

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