Today, right during our lunch rush, I had two women at different tables bust out in a catfight.  It was fabulous.

Apparently, the woman who was in the restaurant first (W1) has a restraining order against the woman who came in the restaurant to pick a fight (W2).  W2 was screaming, “Where’s your fucking husband?  You’re here with your boyfriend, where’s your fucking husband?”  Now you know I’m not going to let that kind of shit go on in my section.  I told W2 she needed to sit down and stop it with the language or leave.  She tried to get in my face and all I said was, “Don’t.”  She backed her shit down, but then she pulled out her phone and started calling people to come to the restaurant and back her up.

W1 told me about the restraining order and said the police were on their way to deal with W2.  Unfortunately, they arrived before the reinforcements did, therefore ending the riot before it had a chance to get going.  I was really in the mood for a riot.  As soon as W2 saw a cop car, she bolted, which was a little disappointing.  I mean, if you are going to make an effort to stalk someone to a restaurant and request a table right next to them, have the balls to stand your ground at least until the tazers come out.  Don’t run at the first sign of cherries and berries.

Then I was questioned about who started the fight and what I wanted to see the police do.  I told him I wanted a raise and some time off.  He said he couldn’t do that, so I said he should probably enforce the restraining order.  Duh.  What the hell kind of question is that?  ‘What would you like to see me do?’  Uh…how about your job.

All my tables over tipped me, which was great.  I made good money AND had an exciting day.


8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. DarcsFalcon
    Feb 15, 2010 @ 19:15:08

    ROFLMAO!! Woo for the over-tipping!

    Did you really say that to the cop? A raise and some time off? Oh my gosh, you’re killing me Holly!! I’m about to fall out of my chair from laughing!

    Well, yeah. What else was I going to say to a question like that? I thought maybe he was going to grant me a couple of wishes. He also asked if I told W2 that he was coming to arrest her, which made her leave and I said, “No way. I like watching someone other than me get arrested.” This caused Darren to shake his head and tell me to go back to work. It probably also caused the cop to run my name for wants or warrants. HAHAHA!


  2. Kate
    Feb 15, 2010 @ 19:34:37

    Hells bells, I wouldn’t have the nerve to say that to a cop. Would have been fun to hear you say it though.
    Sounds like W2 needs to increase her meds! Just as well you didn’t have a real cat fight to deal with 🙂

    I always say fun stuff to cops. I usually have them laughing so hard they forget why they are talking to me. They have the shittiest of the shitty jobs and whenever I encounter one, I try to bring a little humour to the situation.


    • Kate
      Feb 15, 2010 @ 22:42:18

      My dear old dad (RIP) was a career cop. That’s why I’m always polite and deferential when I meet one, ‘cos I know how awkward they can make things for folks if they get pissed off.
      Be good.

      Oh, I’m not rude or disrespectful, just funny. I’ve never had a cop pissed off at me yet.


      • Kate
        Feb 15, 2010 @ 23:43:52

        Wasn’t suggesting you were being rude LOL! Just that some don’t have a great sense of humour. Irony? got one of those in the holster.
        Yeah I know their job can be shitty, believe me, I know. Dad was a cop, two uncles were cops, two cousins. A family tradition since the days of Robert Peel and proud of it.

        I didn’t think you were. 🙂 I’ve learned in the world of cyberspace that some people will jump on a comment and ride you into the ground. I was making sure all of the following commenters know I have great respect for the police, but everybody needs a good laugh now and then.


  3. Bob
    Feb 15, 2010 @ 21:33:54

    funny story!


  4. whatigotsofar
    Feb 16, 2010 @ 04:46:07

    Cat fights, the reason cellphones have cameras.

    We aren’t supposed to have cellphones at work (like anybody follows THAT rule). If I had whipped mine out, it would have been on the security tape and I would have been in trouble. I wish I did have pictures, though.


  5. DarcKnyt
    Feb 16, 2010 @ 06:35:14

    One more reason why you ought to bring a video recorder with you wherever you go. 🙂

    I know. I’m beginning to think I need to invest in a micro camcorder. Some of the shit that goes on in the restaurant is just too much.


  6. Sherri
    Feb 16, 2010 @ 07:32:45

    I love how you take the stance of “Unfortunately, there wasn’t a riot.” lmao

    It’s THAT time of the month for every.single.female. at the restaurant. I’m so in the mood for a good riot.


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