Might be TMI

A couple of nights ago as I was walking through the dining room, I heard a noise.  It was a noise usually associated with a bathroom, where a person has lost their dignity and bowel control.  It was a noise that is accompanied by stench and humiliation if it happens in a public restroom.

For a second, in mid-stride, I thought, “Did I just shit my pants?”  I know my face went white and I had to stop and make a personal evaluation.  I hadn’t felt the need prior to the noise and I’m not quite old enough to spontaneously loose control of myself, but one never knows.  My eyes flicked towards the bathroom and the path I needed to take if, in fact, I had soiled myself.  Damn.  Lots of people to navigate.

Then I heard laughter from the table to my left and I glanced over.  A guy was holding the ketchup bottle upside down, which was the source of the noise.  I was never more relieved in my life.  My heart started beating again, I picked my jaw up off the floor and made it to the waitstation where I collapsed in a fit of giggles.

Gee I’m glad I’m me.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. DarcsFalcon
    Feb 17, 2010 @ 00:28:49

    What is it about bodily function noises that cause those giggle fits? My kids think those are the funniest noises on the planet too! LOL

    I was giggling in relief. I find puking is the most hilarious action in the world, unless I’m either doing it or expected to clean it up.

    Reply

  2. Kate
    Feb 17, 2010 @ 04:51:29

    Haa haa…there’s a kid in all of us just looking for an excuse to….
    You should try putting whoopee cushions on some of the seats 🙂

    We have a fart machine in the waitstation. It’s kinda fun for the new hires.

    Reply

  3. whatigotsofar
    Feb 17, 2010 @ 05:36:01

    The human body is an endless source of comedic content. Especially the bum.

    You would not believe how many people lean over and fart in the restaurant. They always think only their family will notice and they turn the coolest shade of red when their eyes meet mine.

    Reply

  4. Sherri
    Feb 17, 2010 @ 07:24:12

    Those things didn’t happen when they used glass ketchup bottles. Oh, and I’m glad you didn’t shit your pants. LMFAO

    Glass ketchup bottles were so much better. I’m glad I didn’t either.

    Reply

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