Ash Wednesday & Lent

Today is a day of fast and the beginning of Lent.  I gave up using the F-word for the season and so far I’ve slipped 4 times today.  I’ve been awake for less than 2 hours.  I only have my dogs to talk to.  How is this possible?

Years ago (back in high school) I found this funny little missive about how to use the F-word.  This should have been posted yesterday, but I forgot so here it is, copied and edited to my memory from this site.

FUCK!

Fuck is perhaps one of the most interesting and exciting words in the English language. Fuck is the one magical word which just by its sound can describe pleasure, pain, hate, and love. Fuck comes from the German word, “frikon”.
In language, “fuck” falls into many grammatical categories.

Fuck can be used as a verb both transitive (he fucked her) and intransitive (she was fucked by him).
a active verb (he really gives a fuck),
a passive verb (she really doesn’t give a fuck),
an adverb (she is fucking interested in him) and
a noun (she is a fine fuck).
an adjective (she is fucking beautiful).
As you can see there is a whole lot of real versatility with “fuck”. It pops up everywhere. Besides its sexual connotation, this lovely word can be used to describe many situations:

GREETING – How the fuck are you?
FRAUD – I got fucked by that crook;
DISMAY – Oh, fuck it!;
TROUBLE – I’m fucked now!;
CONFUSION – What the fuck?!;
AGGRESSION – “Fuck you!”;
DISGUST – “Fuck me”
DESPAIR – Fucked again!;
PHILOSOPHY – “Who gives a fuck?”
INCOMPETENCE – “He’s a real fuck-off”;
DISPLEASURE – “What the fuck is going on here?”
NUMEROLOGY – “Sixty-fuckin’-nine”;
LOST – “Where the fuck are we?”
DISBELIEF – “Unfuckingbelievable
RETALIATION – Up your fucking ass!”
REBELLION – Fuck it!;
DISPLEASURE – What the fuck’s going on?;
SATISFACTION – Fuck me again!
Also as:

DESCRIPTIVE ANATOMY – “He’s a fuckin’ asshole!”
TO TELL TIME – “It’s six-fucking-thirty.”
PREDICTION – “Well, I’ll be fucked!”
A POLITICAL STATEMENT – “Fuck Washington”
INCESTUOUS – “Motherfucker”
A PUT DOWN – “Fuck off, buster!”
ALL ENCOMPASSING – “Fuck ’em all!”
GOVERNMENTAL AFFAIRS – “Fuck the IRS”
A POKER HAND- “A royal fuck”
TO START A RELATIONSHIP – “Let’s fuck now!”
AS AN ACCEPTANCE – “Fuckin’ eh!”
ENJOYMENT – “Fuckin’ Wow!” ”
A CLOSING – “Fuckingly yours”.
MATERNAL – “Motherfucker”

Never forget the quotes of some famous people in our history and in the present:

Michelangelo: “You want me to paint what on the fucking ceiling”
George Custer: Where did all these Fucking indians come from?
Einstein: “Any fucker can understand that”
Mayor of Hiroshima: What the fuck was that?
John Wayne: “Fuck death and the lung cancer he rode in on.”
Sean Penn:  Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, etc.
Eddie Murphy: Fuck you, Fuck you, and Fuck you. Who’s next?
Jack Nicholas: Fuck this for a lark, 1995 British Open

And last but not least, the immortal words of the captain of the Titanic, who said “Full speed ahead and fuck the iceberg” and five minutes later said “Where is all this fucking water coming from?”

“The mind fairly boggles at the many creative uses of the word. How can anyone be offended when you say “FUCK”? Use fuck in your daily speech proudly. Fuck adds prestige to any conversextion. Put this colorful four letter word to work for you. Today tell someone you know “fuck you” … or “Let’s fuck!”

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. DarcsFalcon
    Feb 17, 2010 @ 12:51:47

    ROFLMFAO! This was awesome! Love it!

    Funny what we remember from our childhood days. 😉

    Reply

  2. Sherri
    Feb 17, 2010 @ 13:03:10

    I quite enjoyed the quotes of famous people. “Where did all these fucking indians come from?” was my favorite. Oh, the spam you’ll be getting…Good thing WordPress has a good filter.

    Yes, I imagine that’s exactly what Custer was thinking. Spam?! No, I never get that. (rolleyes)

    Reply

  3. DarcKnyt
    Feb 17, 2010 @ 15:58:40

    Well said, all. 🙂

    Thank you.

    Reply

  4. Kate
    Feb 17, 2010 @ 20:05:33

    Everyone else has said it all. 🙂 The last paragraph is right when it says that it’s in such common use we can no longer pretend to be offended. Not sure about using it an opener to starting a relationship though.

    Relationship, no. A regret filled one night stand, oh yeah.

    Reply

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