I have a small patch of scar tissue on my lower leg from the time I ran into a trailer hitch on a car. Who the hell puts a trailer hitch on a car? When I shave my legs, no matter how careful I am, I’m just not happy until I slice the top off the scar and make blood pour down my leg.
Such was the case tonight and while I was trying to get ready for bed, Sienna became very concerned by the blood she could smell on my pajama pants. This made me think of the the most asinine argument. I know you’ve all heard it. It goes like this:
“A dog’s mouth is cleaner than a human’s mouth.”
Okay, first of all, I can’t remember the last time I let a human lick one of my wounds, so why on earth would I let a dog lick it. Band-aids, paper towels, wash cloths, and toilet paper are all very effective means of stopping the blood flow and cleaning up the mess. Playing the devil’s advocate here, if I was out in the middle of nowhere, naked, and bleeding profusely, and the only way possible to stop the bleeding was to have either my friend or my dog lick the cut, I guess I would pick the dog. Mostly because I don’t think my friend is going to be willing and if s/he is, we need to reevaluate our friendship.
Second of all, germs are germs. One species having a few less bacteria than another is like offering someone a shit sandwich with or without the bread. It’s still shit. I know what dogs do with their mouths. They eat cat shit, cow shit, duck shit, horse shit, and dead shit. They sniff asses. You will never convince me a dog’s mouth is cleaner than mine unless it has recently been washed out with bleach.
Finally, other species have different defensive mechanisms. Ever been bitten by a cat? I mean, really bitten? Afterward, were you able to watch the infection grow by the second? That’s because some panic mode venom left over from the day when cats were poisonous*** just found its way into your blood stream and now you’re going to die. If dogs have that same stuff going on, I don’t want it around any of my open wounds.
***Not one bit of this is true except for the manic infection part. Ask your vet. Maybe s/he can explain it because I sure as hell can’t.