Filthy Lucre

Yesterday I waited on a sketchy couple who were pleasant, but pretty rough around the edges.  When they paid, I noticed the man smelled really bad, like he had been dug up from a moldy grave.  The money he gave me for their ticket smelled awful as well.  I cleaned off their table and stuck the tip in my pocket.  About an hour later, I pulled money out to buy some food and was offended to find all my money smelled like a moldy grave.

I washed the money with soap and water, but it still smelled bad.  So I traded it in for a larger bill–the one he gave me to pay for his ticket.  I washed that as well.  Dani made fun of me for being so compulsive, but that shit stunk.  I worked with a woman who would wash and iron her money before she took it to the bank.  I have a long way to go before I’m that compulsive.  Finally I realized my apron was making all my money stink so I stopped putting my tips in my pocket.

How on earth can people smell so bad and not realize it?  We have customers who reek of body odor, cigarette smoke, car grease and occasionally gasoline.  Then there are the kids with shitty diapers.  There are some people who smell so bad the entire restaurant stinks hours after they leave.  Are their noses broken?  How can their companions not say anything?  Can you imagine riding in a car with these people?  Blah.

On a different note, Dani is leaving for a new job and Darren hired her replacement yesterday.  She called this morning and said she wouldn’t be back.  Darren hired a dishwasher to replace Fellows and that guy never called or showed up.  All these people whining about no jobs in Cody can kiss my fat, white ass.


9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sherri
    Mar 08, 2010 @ 10:13:51

    It kind of makes me wonder what I smell like to outsiders. But to answer one of your questions, yeah, I think their noses are broken. Damaged by being drenched in chemicals constantly every day. Either that or their hygiene had a gradual decline and they’re just used to it.

    I know I smell like dogs so I shower every day that I’m with the public and I stay far away from everyone on the days I don’t shower.

    Honestly, people reeking of perfume/cologne are just as bad as those who flat out stink.


  2. whatigotsofar
    Mar 08, 2010 @ 10:25:12

    Why do you know what a moldy grave smells like?

    Wouldn’t you like to know. 😉


  3. DarcKnyt
    Mar 08, 2010 @ 12:45:43

    I don’t know if they can’t smell themselves; it’s like when someone has halitosis. They may not know it, and until someone points it out they don’t do anything about it. We have a hard time smelling ourselves sometimes. I wonder how bad I reek to others.

    I know when I smell. I don’t understand why others don’t know. Just thinking about how many days it’s been between showers should indicate how bad a person smells.

    And yeah, people who get a job and act irresponsibly about it can kiss MY a$$ too. Big time.

    We had another guy put in his two weeks notice yesterday and fail to show up for work today. He can kiss my ass too.


  4. Catherine
    Mar 08, 2010 @ 13:51:07

    I used to work for a guy who insisted that all his notes were washed and ironed before he would give them as tips. I think that was to make up for the fact that he only tipped £5 notes whereas all his pals tipped £50’s.

    I would rather have the 50 and wash it myself. Or trade it in to the bank.

    Love your blog and the photos of your dogs.

    Thank you and thanks for stopping by.


  5. Kate
    Mar 08, 2010 @ 16:12:34

    I can sort of understand not knowing you smell of something. One time I’d been painting a door with an oil based paint and then cleaned up with turpentine. Even though my clothes looked clean and my hands were washed, when I went to the store later that day people were going ewwww…. all around me. I couldn’t smell the stuff on me at all.

    Stuff like that just wipes out your senses. I’ve had the same thing happen to me with stuff like that.

    Has Fellows left then?

    He did two days of no call/no show then came in and said he didn’t think he could handle working in the restaurant in the summer. Good riddance.


  6. DarcsFalcon
    Mar 08, 2010 @ 16:27:39

    One time I had to serve a lady who smelled so bad I had to hold my breath while I served her. I couldn’t figure out how her friend could stand to sit in the same car with her. (I’d seen them drive up.) Later I smelled that same smell on a dog who it turned out had advanced cancer and its owners couldn’t smell it either.

    No kidding?! They say some dogs can smell cancer before medical tests can find it. Maybe your sniffer is a miracle.

    Maybe it’s like the cyanide thing. I have always believed I’d be able to smell it, but I’ve never had a chance to test my theory. I think some of us can smell better, some can see better, some can hear better … you know, like that.

    I remember when I was still married we were driving home from Oregon through this big forest. I could smell blood…like slaughterhouse amounts of blood. We came to a clearing in the trees and there was a non-functioning nuclear reactor. I think I smelled either a past or future diaster.


    • DarcsFalcon
      Mar 08, 2010 @ 21:47:07

      LOL Nah, I think they were just used to her smell. 🙂 They were angry with me because I couldn’t be around her without gagging and they thought I hated their dog.

      I was once hired to clean this little old man’s house and it smelled like pee, grease and old man. It was horrible. Burning the house down would have been an improvement. His caretakers strongly hinted that cleaning for an old man should be charity work and they were pissy when I declined to come back a second time.


  7. zmanowner
    Mar 09, 2010 @ 14:02:48

    Yeah i dont get the whole smelly person thing…i can understand people stink after a long shift or the gym but the folks that stink i dont get it either..

    How do you wash money…like paper money?? why not just switch it out with like bills in the register….IRONING money wow that is over the top…love the new format….zman sends

    She put her money in a mesh bag in the washing machine and ironed it so it would be clean and crisp when it went to the bank. I spend mine so fast there’s no time for washing.


  8. blogmella
    Mar 11, 2010 @ 17:12:15

    I have no sense of smell, probably because I had pneumonia as a baby. I mean, I really cannot smell anything AT ALL. Most people seem to think I am “lucky” but really it is terrible to lose such an important sense. Especially when I was dating…I had to secretly ask my friends “Does he SMELL?” whenever I introduced them to my latest beau.

    Not being able to smell could have its advantages, but overall I think it would be a disadvantage. And even if you can’t smell your beau, it’s important to know whether or not he smells. 🙂

    Thanks for stopping by.


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