Some friends and I were talking at the coffee shop the other day and we got on the subject of medical assistance. One woman said she would die before the ambulance could get to her because her house is so remote, no one can find it and her road is so bad, no one can drive down it.
This got me to thinking. My house isn’t terribly remote and my driveway is pretty passable, but if I needed medical assistance, the ambulance crew would have a hell of a time getting through the dogs to get to me. Last year after I had surgery, my mom came to check on me. Before I could get up to answer the door, she came in the house and started down the hall. Sienna stood at the bedroom door snarling, barking and throwing slobber like a Hell hound. Scared the crap out of my mother. Once I was on my feet and mobile, everybody was friends again, but while I was down and hurting no one was getting close.
So I will die if I need an ambulance.
This got me thinking again. What if I couldn’t call the ambulance? How many days would I be dead before someone found me? My kids and I text every day, but if I didn’t answer for a day or two, they wouldn’t get too worried. If I didn’t show up for work I think my co-workers would alert someone that day, but only one of them knows how to get in touch with my kids. If I dropped dead on my Friday night, it would be at least two days before anyone came looking for me.
So now I’m thinking some more. How many days would I be dead before the dogs started eating me? Rumour has it, your dog won’t eat you, but your cat will. I think Maggie, Sienna and Otis would lay beside me until the meat wagon came to haul me off while Halo would drag my carcass around trying to wake me up. They would all eat Padawan before he could eat me.
I think maybe I need a roommate.