Jiggle Shake

This older (35-ish) single man has been coming to the restaurant for the last several weeks to see Jamie.  Jamie always waits on him, smiles, talks to him and jumps for joy when he over tips her.  At first it was five dollars on a fifteen dollar ticket.  Lately, it’s been ten dollars.  I warned her that she couldn’t accept the over tipping without expecting some sort of sexual advance.  Oh no, she assured me, he’s not that way.

Tonight she was all sad faced because he asked if she was going to give him a show.  In Jamie’s defense, she’s never been anything but professionally friendly with this guy.  That didn’t stop me from teasing her without mercy, though, and it didn’t stop her from being disappointed in someone she thought was only helping out a college girl. 

There are a few men who come to the restaurant strictly to see the servers.  Some bring gifts.  Others bring big bags of money.  They all have expectations of sex. 

Jody, who used to work at the restaurant, routinely recieved fifty dollar tips, certificates for massage therapy, expensive jewelry and hundreds of dollars at Christmas from this guy.  When I waited on him, he left me five bucks.  Then she had the nerve to complain that the guy asked her out on a date.  I told her to stop accepting the gifts from him and set some boundaries.  She whined that she really needed the money.  So stop bitching and get busy doing the jiggle shake for him.

Morgan, another woman who used to work at the restaurant, was very pretty and she knew it.  She had the hair swinging, hip thrust, jiggle shake down to a science.  Men would come in with their wives and later would be back all alone, eating, over tipping and sending her flowers.  Morgan was after the cash.  All flowers went straight in the garbage.  “You can’t spend flowers,” she would sneer. 

I’m from a different time; one that taught me to never accept gifts or make eye contact unless I’m willing to put out.  It’s a sad time to be from.  I like the freedom these young girls have, the fearlessness they show when they talk to men who make my creep-meter red line.  By the time they are my age, they will learn to decline the gifts and look slightly to the left when talking to single men.  And they will tell their daughters…


10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. blogmella
    Apr 17, 2010 @ 03:21:04

    I love flirting and I always regard it as a joke, or a way to flatter someone… But like you I’ve become more reluctant over the years, because some men take it WAY too seriously.

    Yes they do. Sometimes a simple ‘Hello’ is enough to create a stalker.

    One girl I used to work with told me she had a new boyfriend.
    What is he like?” I asked,
    “He took me to a posh hotel and we drank Champagne in bed. Then we went out and he bought me some expensive jeans!” she said.
    “Wow” I replied, “Good description, I feel like I’ve met him already!”. It went right over her head.

    Sounds like she found what she was looking for.


  2. whatigotsofar
    Apr 17, 2010 @ 07:09:30

    Or maybe they could just go out on a date with their customer and have some fun. Lonely guys need love too, if not more.

    Jody and Morgan didn’t want dates, they wanted money. Jody would try to get me to wait on her gentleman caller so she didn’t have to talk to him until he was ready to leave when he would then slip her a fifty. Screw that.

    And yes, lonely guys need love too. That is why they come out to restaurants and bars. But they mistake someone being friendly with someone who wants to have their babies. It is our job to be friendly, but some men push it to the point where you can’t be in the building with them and it’s sad.

    My advice is accept the friendly, don’t start flashing the cash and don’t expect more than a kind word and a smile. If you flash the cash, eventually you will find a woman who will be willing to take it, but don’t be surprised when she offers nothing in return.


  3. DarcsFalcon
    Apr 17, 2010 @ 12:05:58

    It’s the notion that men are just giving them money and gifts out of the kindness in their hearts, and not the hardness in their pants. Why don’t they get it?

    It would be nice if men were giving gifts out of kindness, but it is seldom the case.

    If you’re not willing to put out, don’t accept the advancement on the put-out payment. That’s all the guy’s doing – paying your price in advance.

    That’s my stand. I’m not willing to put out so I’m not accepting the up front payment.


  4. Donald Mills
    Apr 17, 2010 @ 16:09:09

    It all strikes me as foolish and sad. The waitresses must know what they are setting themselves up for but, honestly, these moronic men should just be ashamed of themselves.

    Nice to hear from you!

    I can’t comprehend what kind of ego it takes for a middle aged man who is overweight and balding to think a 20 year old girl is interested in seeing him naked. I also can’t fathom how women who use men simply for their money can sleep at night. Every single day I get a lesson in human character, or lack of it.


  5. blunt delivery
    Apr 17, 2010 @ 19:15:01

    hey…. i’ve been gone for awhile. website was on the fritz.. plus, uh, the love of my life has been fucking someone else for the duration of our relationship. so.. yea.

    That is so horrible. I hope his dick falls off and he gets head lice.

    i may or may not have written a blog about it.

    I kept checking in, but there wasn’t anything new for quite awhile, then I forgot. I do that…forget about things and wander off. I can’t wait to see what I’m going to be like when I’m senile.

    p.s. you’re fabulous.

    Thanks you, and so are you!


  6. Ahmnodt Heare
    Apr 17, 2010 @ 19:30:28

    I always felt awkward when flirting with a waitress. I didn’t know if they were flirting because they liked me or they wanted more money.

    They want more money. The only way you can really be sure they like you is to follow them home.

    I also quit flirting with nuns, but for a different reason.

    Nuns have rulers and they slap hard. And well, I think you go to hell.

    Now i only flirt with librarians (the younger ones). They work for the town and are not allowed to accept tips. This makes me feel more comfortable that they’re flirting with me because they like me.

    They might just want you to return your overdue books. Don’t mean to burst your bubble or anything.


  7. Bob
    Apr 18, 2010 @ 06:30:12

    Guys honestly gave that much crap to a waitress looking for a tip?

    No, the average guy who tips the average amount is looking for a meal and decent service. The men who are extravagant expect the women who accept it to be generous with their favours. The men are not totally at fault, but occasionally a young, naive one (Jamie) doesn’t know the game and gets a lesson.


  8. brknhrt75
    Apr 18, 2010 @ 08:16:17

    I was a hostess in a restaurant once, and I was subbing for a waitress on break (it was a very small restaurant) when I met my beau of 5 years. He mentioned that he didn’t know I was interested because it was my job to flirt and be nice.

    There are men I openly flirt with because they are cute or funny. They come back and it’s fun to look at them and have interesting conversations, but they don’t over tip me and they stay polite. As long as they are polite, it’s all good. Once they start being crude, they find themselves in someone else’s section.

    So why don’t men just realize this, and move on? Is waitress French for whore? Of course waiters/waitresses are going to accept high tips. Why else would they be servers if not for the $? Because they like serving obnoxious people their meals? As if.

    “French for whore” HAHAHAHA! I always thought waitress was German for subhuman. I have learned from my long career of waiting tables who you can be nice to and who you can’t look in the eye. Sure, I want a 40 percent tip, but if my creep meter is red lining I’m going to give it back. It isn’t worth the future headache.

    And lonely men that try to pick up women that are paid to serve them makes me sad. I just want everyone to be happy and never feel that emptiness that society makes us feel if we’re not in a relationship. Of course with men like that, it’s usually just about the s-e-x.

    If they went about it a different way, they would be much more successful. The initial over tip gets the server’s attention. If she’s interested, she will make sure you end up in her section the next time you visit. If she isn’t interested, she’ll put you in the regular rotation. If you are in her section, BE POLITE! Make conversation, find out what she likes, woo her. Throwing money at her and asking if she’ll show you her tits doesn’t even work in strip clubs.


  9. DarcKnyt
    Apr 18, 2010 @ 09:47:56

    This is disappointing. Everyone knows this isn’t what you do with waitstaff; this is what you do with escorts and “masseuses” you find in the yellow pages (NOT to be confused with “massage therapists”, btw).

    There was a place in Casper, Wyoming named Tokyo Massage. When I was a fresh eyed 18 year old going to college for the first time, I knew it was a front for a whore house. Two years ago it was finally raided for tax evasion and people all over Casper and the state were shocked, shocked I tell you, that a massage parlour was fronting as a whore house. Who are these people and how have they lived this long?

    And if you’re overweight and bald and trolling for sex, well … that’s why God created the Internet.

    HAHAHA! Actually, I heard Al Gore created the internet.

    When’re people gonna learn?

    Never, in my experience.


  10. Sparty Girl
    Apr 18, 2010 @ 16:56:14

    I actually met my husband while I was waiting tables. But he came in with a friend so I flirted with both of them! And they left a normal tip, but then he called back with a story about leaving his wallet on the table and asked if he could speak with me. He was totally confused when he realized that it was me who had answered the phone!

    *Ah, the memories.*

    He behaved like a gentleman though, didn’t he.


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