A Thorn in My Side

There is a woman who eats at the restaurant two or three times a month and I hate waiting on her.  She works at a different restaurant in town–I’m not saying the name because they aren’t getting a free advertisement.  I will say that they managed to send all the Rotarians to the hospital with food poisoning when they delivered the food for a picnic in a horse trailer.  I’ll pause while you fully comprehend the nastiness that was floating in the potato salad.  In all fairness, the Rotarians probably had it coming, since for years at their annual Rotary Show they advertised this restaurant with the slogan “Eat at ——-!  Thousands of flies can’t be wrong!”

Anyway, this woman thinks she’s hot shit because she works at this restaurant.  Every time she comes to our restaurant she thinks she runs the place.  We don’t serve baked potatoes until 5 pm, yet she told me one day at 3 pm, “I work at ——- and I know they are done before 5.  Tell the cooks I want one.”  WTF?!  They weren’t even in the oven yet.

I’ve busted her on sharing the salad bar so many times I want to punch her in the face.  When I explain (yet again) that I have to charge her for the salad bar, she first stares at me, then she flips shit on me.  I want to kick her ass. 

That’s her thing:  Staring.  I can’t decide if she thinks I’ll change my mind if she stares at me long enough, or if she’s thinking of the best way to stick a fork in my head, or if she’s functionally retarded and it’s taking a long time for her brain to process the information I’ve given her. 

So last night this douchy guy came in for dinner and said he was meeting his daughter’s cousin and her kids.  He waited for about an hour before they arrived, right before closing time.  He was annoying enough, I really didn’t need to see her.  I gritted my teeth, took them their drinks, started to take their order and then listened to them argue about how they were all related.  Who gives a shit?! 

When they finally figured out their family tree doesn’t branch, they spent 10 minutes arguing with me over what time we close, menu prices, substitutions, what wine we serve, and the salad bar.  It would have been a 2 minute order/argument if it wasn’t for all the staring.

Damned people.


8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. whatigotsofar
    Apr 20, 2010 @ 14:27:26

    I don’t mean to belittle your place of business, but I’ve never seen a restaurant that had a salad bar that also had anything better than “regular” wine. So, why would somebody even discuss what wine is served beyond red or white?

    Well that, and we are a BBQ RESTAURANT! Our wine comes in a box. The guy ordered a glass of wine and then a second glass. When I brought the second one to him he wanted a different type of wine. “Well, can’t you just pour this back?” he asked. NO! Figure out what you want BEFORE you order it.


  2. Ahmnodt Heare
    Apr 20, 2010 @ 14:35:59

    There’s a thing called a “Dinner Menu.” Items on the dinner menu are normally served at dinner time. What I would do is go to her restaurant and ask for a Big Mac. When she gives you a snide remark that it’s not McDonald’s, tell her that you thought it was and walk out.

    I won’t eat at her restaurant because of the food poisoning and the flies and the filthy kitchen. The only reason it stays in business is it’s in Buffalo Bill’s hotel. I would like to go in there and treat her like she treats me, though.


  3. blogmella
    Apr 20, 2010 @ 14:59:17

    I think some people have the idea that staring makes them look more imposing and intelligent. It doesn’t. Also, they seem to think it looks as though they are weighing up their many, many options – whereas, the very fact that they’re having to stare usually means they don’t have any options other than “suck it up”.

    The fact that she tries this shit on me at least 3 times a month with the same results shows me she’s not all that smart.

    Stare back but choose a place on her face and focus on that. Frown a bit. Before you know it she will be feeling her face to find out what is wrong.

    HAHAHA! I did that to a woman once. She was being all bitchy with me when I noticed she had gigantic nostrils. I stared at them every time I got close to her table. She quit being bitchy.


  4. Sparty Girl
    Apr 20, 2010 @ 16:24:29

    “blogmella” you crack me up! I’m rolling on the floor here!!! Holly, you need to try that and report back on how it works.

    I think the British are best at that. Whenever people are annoying me to tears I think of John Cleese in ‘A Fish Called Wanda’ and I try to cop that same attitude.


  5. DarcsFalcon
    Apr 20, 2010 @ 22:02:39

    Oh hell yeah stare back! Who the hell does she think she is! “I know you have baked potatoes!”

    She’s an asshole. You would think a fellow server would be a little more gracious and carefree. I know I am when I’m in someone else’s restaurant. Did I mention she tips for shit?

    She’s only coming in to check out the competition and talk smack about you guys when she goes back to her place. Next time she comes in you should borrow their slogan. “Oh? You’re coming to eat here? Well you know what they say, thousands of flies can’t be wrong!”

    She applied for a job not too long ago and the general response was “Oh HELL NO!” She knows we’re a better restaurant and provide better service.


  6. DarcKnyt
    Apr 20, 2010 @ 22:57:39

    I don’t have anything to add to the discussion. You’ve gotten enough good feedback. Another thing you could do is make a sour face, looking around at her general area, and sniff a couple of times, then take a step back. Just a thought.

    What I try to do with her is put her in someone else’s section. The guy threw me off, but after dealing with him, I see it runs in the family.


  7. brknhrt75
    Apr 21, 2010 @ 17:07:33

    I think people stare because it intimidates people. I’m not gonna lie, back in the day when I was insecure and had a low self-esteem a starer really had my number. I got all shaky and just did whatever they wanted. Sad, but true.

    She should know by now that I don’t back down. She can stare all night, I don’t give a shit.

    Give her hell for me and all the other wussies out there! 😉

    I do, every day.


  8. Jamie
    Apr 25, 2010 @ 01:14:44

    lololol i cant stop laughing. i loved the paragraph of theorizing what she could possibly be thinking.

    She’s an ass. Hopefully she won’t be back for a few months.


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