People really need to learn to chew with their mouth closed, and to not speak with a full mouth. Holy crap, it isn’t that hard.
Last night I had a table of two older couples. They smelled as if they had been chain smoking in an air tight room for about a month. Gag. Each couple ordered a combo meal and when I asked for their side dishes, one man said, “When our son worked here, we could substitute the side dishes for the salad bar.” WTF? This salad bar for side dishes thing is going to make me poke out an eye.
I had a sneaking suspicion of who his son was and since I didn’t want to be a complete ass (why stop now, right?), I said we changed the policy rather than saying, “I see your dead son was giving you freebies.” The mother of the former employee ordered the salad bar. She had zero manners. It was terrible.
When I brought the first wave of food to their table, the woman had I don’t know how many types of salad shoved in her mouth and she bellowed, “We need more bar-be-que sauce.” I made the unpleasant mistake of looking at her while she was speaking. As Don Mills says, it was like watching the rinse cycle of a front loading washing machine. All that salad was tumbling around her semi-toothless mouth, threatening to fall out on the table. I know I give the impression that I am in a hurry, but if you indicate you need to say something I will wait. I would rather wait for you to swallow than look at what’s going on in your mouth. Ick.
I got all the food to their table and I have to say, I’ve seen shows on nature channels where a pack of hyenas had better dining etiquette. All the slurping, belching, gnawing, and food thrashing which went on at that table almost made me lose my dinner. I have never seen anything like it. The one woman simply would NOT stop talking with her mouth full. She also seemed to believe the food was muffling her words so she yelled her side of the conversation. I became more horrified each time I walked by the table and saw her food going ’round and ’round as she chomped and hollered at her companions.
These people had a son who was a waiter. One would think they would have better restaurant manners. One would be wrong.