See Food

People really need to learn to chew with their mouth closed, and to not speak with a full mouth.  Holy crap, it isn’t that hard.  

Last night I had a table of two older couples.  They smelled as if they had been chain smoking in an air tight room for about a month.  Gag.  Each couple ordered a combo meal and when I asked for their side dishes, one man said, “When our son worked here, we could substitute the side dishes for the salad bar.”  WTF?  This salad bar for side dishes thing is going to make me poke out an eye.   

I had a sneaking suspicion of who his son was and since I didn’t want to be a complete ass (why stop now, right?), I said we changed the policy rather than saying, “I see your dead son was giving you freebies.”  The mother of the former employee ordered the salad bar.  She had zero manners.  It was terrible.  

When I brought the first wave of food to their table, the woman had I don’t know how many types of salad shoved in her mouth and she bellowed, “We need more bar-be-que sauce.”  I made the unpleasant mistake of looking at her while she was speaking.  As Don Mills says, it was like watching the rinse cycle of a front loading washing machine.  All that salad was tumbling around her semi-toothless mouth, threatening to fall out on the table.  I know I give the impression that I am in a hurry, but if you indicate you need to say something I will wait.  I would rather wait for you to swallow than look at what’s going on in your mouth.  Ick.  

I got all the food to their table and I have to say, I’ve seen shows on nature channels where a pack of hyenas had better dining etiquette.  All the slurping, belching, gnawing, and food thrashing which went on at that table almost made me lose my dinner.  I have never seen anything like it.  The one woman simply would NOT stop talking with her mouth full.  She also seemed to believe the food was muffling her words so she yelled her side of the conversation.  I became more horrified each time I walked by the table and saw her food going ’round and ’round as she chomped and hollered at her companions.    

This look probably explains the 10% tip.

 

These people had a son who was a waiter.  One would think they would have better restaurant manners.  One would be wrong.

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Bob
    May 05, 2010 @ 08:26:59

    that is disgusting.

    Tell me about it.

    Reply

  2. whatigotsofar
    May 05, 2010 @ 09:17:30

    Yeah, disgusting. Salad bar. Yuck! Take the side of mashed potatoes and be happy with it.

    Do your mashed potatoes have garlic and bacon bits in it? Maybe some gravy or jus slathered on top. Mmmm… Now that’s good eatin’.

    We don’t have mashed potatoes and I really wish we did.

    Reply

    • whatigotsofar
      May 05, 2010 @ 15:10:41

      No mashed potatoes??? That ain’t a restaurant. That’s a waste of space.

      I know! My life would be so much simpler if we served mashed potatoes. On Tuesdays we usually have some sort of open faced sandwich with mashed potatoes and gravy for the special. The gravy is made from the prime rib au jus and it is to die for.

      Reply

  3. DarcKnyt
    May 05, 2010 @ 09:41:54

    UGH. I’m gonna hurl.

    I worked with a guy a few years back and his nickname around the place was “The Salad Shooter”. I heard the story how one time he’s chomping away on a salad and talking at the same time, and a chunk of detritus comes flying out and lands on someone else’s plate rim. Without even pausing he reached over and plucked the mashed chunk of partially masticated goo off the plate and pops it back into that perpetual motion engine he calls a mouth. The poor bastard who’s plate caught the collateral damage just picked up his whole meal and dumped it in the trash.

    Some people are really, really nasty. How do they live so long being so frickin’ gross?

    Wow. It sounds as if that guy has a sister. How do they manage to get people to go out to dinner with them? I would have left 30 seconds into the meal.

    Reply

  4. blogmella
    May 05, 2010 @ 13:18:10

    Ugh, what a vile woman! My ex used to make a grunting/humming noise whilst eating. I used to tell him off (I wanted to throw up) but he’d forget and start doing it again. I think it was another of his passive aggressive ways of pissing me off.

    That kind of shit always is. My ex had a whole repertoire of passive/aggressive bullshit.

    Reply

  5. Sparty Girl
    May 05, 2010 @ 14:25:39

    Oooh, ick! yuck, yuck, yuck. I’m trying to train that out of my son before he gets any worse (and any older).

    It seems to be harder with boys.

    Reply

  6. DarcsFalcon
    May 06, 2010 @ 00:03:11

    How come no one ever told them that’s gross? That’s what I don’t get. And how come when they see other people do it, they don’t stop and think to themselves, “Wow, that’s gross, I should stop doing that myself.”

    So many morons, so little time.

    I wouldn’t be able to sit and eat with someone who did that. Don’t they notice that most people close their mouth when they chew?

    Reply

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