My first encounter with Creeper Jim was two summers ago when he and a friend came to the restaurant for coffee in the evening. There are 2 things wrong with that sentence. Summer=busy. Coffee in the evening=you are costing me money. Much like the couple from Wal-Mart who order salad bar and sit for 2 1/2 hours drinking that endless cup of decaf only to leave me a $2 tip, Creeper Jim and his friend cost me and the restaurant more money than they are worth.
Not only did Creeper Jim and his friend take up a booth which could have generated much more money, they complained about the quality of the coffee every time I walked by their table. This got old after the second pass. I was less than friendly with them and I figured they would take a hint and not come back.
Three times in one week they came in during dinner and were somehow seated in my section. On the third night when Creeper Jim’s friend asked, “What kind of coffee do you serve?” I snapped, “The same kind you bitch about every time you come in.” I didn’t see them for the rest of the summer.
Then came winter and Creeper Jim started coming in for coffee by himself. He calls himself a ‘rock hound’ meaning he collects rocks, polishes them and makes them into jewelry. Then he gives the jewelry to waitresses he wants to screw. I was already on to his shit so when he tried to present me with a pair of earrings, I less than politely declined and asked that he not be put in my section again.
But bless his little passive/aggressive heart, he started taking the papers from the used sugar and sweetener packets and throwing them in different parts of the restaurant: the urinal, under tables, on the floor by the trash in the men’s restroom, in places designed to get my attention. One day I caught him going in the men’s room with a handful of empty sugar papers and I stepped on his foot and said, “If I find those papers on the floor anywhere in this restaurant, we won’t be friends any more.” I stopped finding empty sugar packets on the floor since even a dimwit knows it’s hard to pick up rocks with a broomstick jammed up your ass.
Oh yes, he’s a dimwit. Five less IQ points and he’d be sitting at the state school wearing a helmet.
That is still no excuse for his behaviour.
He came in for coffee on Tuesday night and since all the servers refuse to wait on him, Kayla (she’s his cousin or something) served him. He called Jamie to his table and tried to present her with a huge chunk of unfinished jade. She refused because she knows to accept a gift from him means he’ll be creeping around her for weeks. As he was getting ready to leave, he again called Jamie to the register and tried to give her the rock. I was going in the office and I whispered to her to take it so we could sell it on ebay and split the profit. She took the jade, thanked him over and over for it, and threatened to bash me in the head with it if he bothered her later.
He wasn’t gone for more than 15 minutes before he was back asking Jamie if she liked the jade. I told her to tell him she was carrying it around in her coochie and offer it back to him. HAHAHA! I’m going to Hell! WOO-EEE!
I was wrong for telling her to take a gift from him. When Yellowstone Park Rangers tell you not to feed the bears, they mean never. Not even when they are being annoying and you think you might make a profit off them.