Several things converged tonight to give me a ‘Man-I-Wish-I-Wasn’t-Here headache:
- It was a slow night with a bunch of lousy tippers.
- The lawn people fertilized the grass around the restaurant today and the entire building smelled like chemicals.
- Shannon contradicted EVERYTHING Jamie said. If Jamie said, “The sky is blue”, Shannon said, “Well, it’s a shade of blue.” That shit got old after about 2 seconds.
- Jamie would NOT stop leaving dirty dishes everywhere. I threatened to do something obscenely painful to her.
On the upside, there was a woman in Shannon’s section who looked like Phyllis from The Office.
Every time I walked by her table I thought of the “Beach Games” episode where Michael tells Phyllis to dip her hot dog in water “so it will slide down your gullet more easily”. Eventually, I got the giggles that threatened to be that insane type of laughter where you can’t stop until a rib breaks and/or you pee your pants. Luckily she left before either of those things happened.