Just for Spite

These are NOT toys.


I approached my second table last night to see their toddler had pulled the beer menu out of the table tent and was attempting to tear it in half.  Very politely, I asked if I could have the menu and the tent since we don’t have very many of them and we like to keep them in good condition for the next guest.  I was not mean.  I didn’t have my bitch going on.  That doesn’t usually happen until after 7pm and it was only a little after 4pm. 

The toddler’s mother snapped, “She didn’t do that.”  

Well lady, she’s doing it now and I don’t want the damned thing torn to shreds, which I will also have to clean up.  You see when other customers come in and ask, “What kinda beer ya got?” I want them to be able to read the damned menu rather than recite it 4 times because no one can pay attention.  

I apologized and again politely explained why I needed her to take the menu from the toddler, who now had it shoved in her mouth. 

“Well, she took it out of the holder, but she didn’t tear it up.” 

Of course she didn’t, you dumb bitch, but only because I’m making you take it away from her. 

During this exchange, the wimpy dad looked like he wanted to slap me.  I just smiled at him and continued to be very polite.  During their meal, I was very attentive and polite.  I kept their glasses full and their pig sty of a table as clean as I could.  

When they left, of course they stiffed me, but they also stole the table tent.  That’s right.  The table tent with the beer menu, which I asked them to not let their toddler destroy because we don’t have very many of them got jacked.  I laughed about that shit all night.  I mean, really.  How spiteful, pathetic and juvenile can people be?  



8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Bob
    Jun 29, 2010 @ 09:19:10

    A “wimp” wanted to slap you? That just sounds weird. I would expect a wimp to want to hide under the table while you had your disagreement with his wife.

    But I wasn’t disagreeing. I was being super polite and friendly. If I had been disagreeing, they would have fled the restaurant.


  2. Heifer
    Jun 29, 2010 @ 12:17:09

    Yet another example of why a license should be required before having children

    The parents of those parents should have had a license to breed. Obviously the spite goes back a long ways.


  3. whatigotsofar
    Jun 29, 2010 @ 13:47:35

    having a uterus isn’t a right to breed

    Nor to teach your kids to be morons.


  4. blogmella
    Jun 29, 2010 @ 16:16:08

    That is amazing. And bad.

    But it’s funny as shit. Who even does stuff like that?


  5. DarcKnyt
    Jun 29, 2010 @ 16:23:12

    I think I’m pissed on your behalf. I raised two toddlers and my wife four; NONE of them were permitted to destroy anything that didn’t belong to them, and even then only if it was cheap.

    I don’t get the peeps you see. 😦

    There’s another side of this that customers don’t consider: Do you know how filthy those table tents are? Do you know how many people have touched them? Guess how often we wash them, and then it’s with a dirty towel. When my kids were young there was no way I would let them touch a table tent.

    I don’t get the peeps I see either. 😦


  6. DarcsFalcon
    Jun 29, 2010 @ 17:40:42

    How can people be so moronic and spiteful? I mean really. Did no one ever hear “leave something in as good a condition as you found it” when using things that don’t belong to them?

    Uh…not the people who eat out on a regular basis. Again, tourists are more careful and considerate in the restaurant than the locals are. The locals feel like they own the place.

    And then to steal it! You know why they took it – their kid destroyed it and they weren’t going to let you know you were right. Jerks.

    Oooh! I didn’t think of that. I figured they took it just to be spiteful.


  7. beckyb26
    Jun 29, 2010 @ 18:35:51

    Wow. Just wow. I have nothing more to say.

    I laughed half the day thinking about what an asinine thing to do. It’s pure malice.


  8. The Snide Server
    Jun 30, 2010 @ 01:01:04

    Oh my gosh! Tables don’t realize that just because they’re ‘sitting’ at the table, they don’t own the contents of the booth.

    I HATE vindictive tables. I’ve had tables steal the sugar caddies that hold the Sweet and Low/Equal/Splenda. Yes, they also stole the sugar too.

    HAHA! We go through a lot of salt and pepper shakers in the summer because people steal those left and right. This is the first non-useful item I’ve seen stolen.

    Thanks for stopping by!


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