Just How Stupid Are You?

Last weekend a man, his wife and smart ass teenaged daughter came in for dinner right before closing time.  He asked for the prime rib, extremely rare.  I explained that since it was so late in the evening, there might not be any extremely rare prime rib left and suggested he select a steak.  He insisted on the prime rib and said, “You tell that cook if it’s not extremely rare, I’m going to kick his ass.”


I said, “Uh…the cook is a huge Mexican.”

“I don’t even care.”

“He doesn’t care,” the smart assed daughter assured me.  “He will kick his ass.”

Well, alrighty then.

So I went to the kitchen and told Chetto if he didn’t cook the prime rib extremely rare the guy was going to kick his ass.  Chetto mumbled something in Spanish, which is never a good sign.

When I went back to the table, the guy asked, “So what did the cook say when you told him I’d kick his ass if my prime rib isn’t right?”

I so wanted to say, “It isn’t what he said, but rather what he did,” but I figured I’d be in trouble.  I mean, how stupid are you to threaten the cook before he’s sent your food out?  Do you really want to have the shits for a week?  I have a feeling this guy has eaten a lot of fumunda cheese.

When I picked the order up at the window, that shit was RAW.  I don’t mean extremely rare, I mean it was flopping around and mooing.  I’ve seen stuff in cellophane packages that had seen more heat than this had.

I was dying for the guy to send it back because it was cold (it had to be) or too rare (it certainly was).  He ate everything else on his plate, said he was full, and asked for a box for the prime rib.  Sissy. 

Life is so much easier when you don’t go out of your way to be an asshole to the people who make your food.


13 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. whatigotsofar
    Jul 09, 2010 @ 03:54:17

    If I was you, as soon as the guy threatened to harm my co-worker, I would have just taken the order then found my way over to a telephone and called the police because my co-worker was being threatened.

    Troglodytes like this prick should spend some time in jail being made the bitch that they are.

    Ohhh…didn’t think of that.


  2. Bob
    Jul 09, 2010 @ 05:36:04

    He was too scared to eat it? That is awesome!

    He was either too scared or he took it back to his motel and put it in the microwave. Either way, his dinner was ruined because he was a prick.


  3. Still Waiting
    Jul 09, 2010 @ 07:00:03

    I had one guy threaten our manager. The manager wasn’t buying his “I need free stuff” tantrum and after the manager left, the dude mumbled he might have to wait until my manager’s shift was over and “set him straight”.

    Of course, I told my manager immediately and everyone was on alert the rest of the night…but I guess 3 am was past the dude’s bedtime since he never turned up. Idiot.

    I’ve had customers threaten me with bodily harm over the most miniscule things. I’ve had customers (always men) elbow shove me out of their way or straight up get in my face, chests puffed up, hands clenched at their sides because they didn’t get a free meal. And yet, we are supposed to grin and bear it.


    • Still Waiting
      Jul 10, 2010 @ 07:08:00

      In Texas, a citizen may obtain a concealed handgun license. You may carry anywhere as long as a 30.06 sign is posted, which would prohibit lawful carry of a licensed handgun.

      I plan on getting my license when I turn 21 and WILL be carrying at work. Too many crazies, and I don’t have the stature or strength to put up any kind of fight should someone decide to beat up on a poor waitress. Plus, I’m walking to my car in the wee hours of the morning to go home…dark, remote parking lots equal NO GOOD!

      There have been a few scary situations with stalkers, but pissed off customers haven’t stuck around. The stalkers worry me because they go after the young girls who live alone without any protection. I hate stalkers.


  4. noe noe girl
    Jul 09, 2010 @ 07:06:16

    Chetto is my hero!

    Somebody called one time and said they found a cigarette butt in their pork sandwich to go (impossible). They said they were coming back to kick the cook’s ass. Chetto said, “Okay, we’ll be here until 11.” The guy never showed up and I nearly pee my pants laughing every time I think of that story.


  5. blunt delivery
    Jul 09, 2010 @ 07:48:06

    hahaha. oh man, that’s funny.

    sometimes, i sorta miss that whole restaurant stuff.


    wait no, never.

    Sometimes when I think of all the bullshit I wonder what is wrong with my head that I stay. Then I realize I hated my other jobs even more. I need to be independently wealthy.


  6. thelifeofjamie
    Jul 09, 2010 @ 09:00:11

    hopefully the meat “accidentally” fell on the dirtiest part of the floor and was “accidentally” cleaned off with saliva!

    There are cameras in the kitchen to prevent this so unfortunately it went to his table clean. Raw, but clean.


  7. blogmella
    Jul 09, 2010 @ 09:01:03

    Couldn’t you tell those people to leave? I’d have refused to serve them (unless my job was on the line, I guess).

    I can’t tell anyone to leave. The general manager (Darren) can, but no one else. Darren wasn’t there that night, and he would rather see someone try to kick Chetto’s ass rather than tell them to leave.


  8. DarcKnyt
    Jul 09, 2010 @ 09:02:10

    Blunt Delivery made me LOL. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I LOL’d, dammit.

    LOLing is pretty embarrassing, isn’t it. I try not to LOL if I can help it.

    Yeah … big mouth generally equates to small brain. Generally. And I wonder what would’ve happened if Chetto had come to the table to see if everything was to his satisfaction?

    The guy would have shit his pants. As dishwasher Tom put it, the guy was “no bigger than a salad fork.”

    You really should be writing a book. It would be literary fiction, because seriously, with this sort of lot, who needs a plot to drive the story?

    It’s rolling around in my head, but the setting is somewhat different.


  9. The Idiot Speaketh
    Jul 09, 2010 @ 11:24:25

    I can’t believe the morons you have to deal with! Is your restaurant a moron magnet or what? If I was the cook, I would have done all kinds of unimaginable things to that Prime Rib (other than cooking) before I sent it out. Then, after the moron had eaten half of the meal, I would have come out and shown him the digital pics of me “wearing” the prime rib on various parts of my body…….you get the idea…..

    We get a lot of jerks and assholes, but complete morons like this guy only show up occasionally. Trust me, if there weren’t cameras in the kitchen that guy would have been eating all sorts of stuff.


  10. DarcsFalcon
    Jul 09, 2010 @ 15:41:39

    Really, how dumb do you have to be to actually threaten the person who’s cooking your food? Maybe Chetto sneezed and “forgot” to cover it while he was cooking that prime rib. I wish he would have come out and asked how the customer liked it. That would have been funny. 😀

    I wish he had come out too. The guy’s would have crapped his pants since you don’t just get one pissed off crew member, you get them all.


  11. izziedarling
    Jul 09, 2010 @ 15:59:28

    The world has gone totally Jerry Springer. Sorry you have to put up with so many asses.

    Yes, but Springer is sort of amusing in a completely screwed up way. These people are just pathetic.


  12. beansprowtcrocodile
    Jun 21, 2012 @ 12:55:05

    Ha ha! Stoopid oaf!

    Some people never get it.


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