This last week the restaurant appeared in some dining guide as gluten free. Not eating flour must make people stupid because I’ve talked to more flat out brain dead people in the last few days than I have in the last year.
In the past, people would tell me, at their table, that they needed gluten free items and give me examples of what they couldn’t eat. I have no problem checking ingredient lists for people. I routinely check the ingredient list on the ingredients we use for sauces. The last thing I want to do is make someone sick because of a dab of flour I didn’t know was there. I have no problem answering questions on how our food is prepared (Is the shrimp breaded? Do you cook the fries in the same oil as the breaded food?). I make it clear to the cooks when a person has a gluten allergy and highlight it on the ticket.
Now that we are in the gluten free dining guide, people assume everything on the menu is gluten free. They call on the phone during the dinner rush and expect me to read them the menu. They then pass the phone to other gluten free people who ask the same questions all over. I usually say, “You know what you can and can’t eat, right?” This is met with dumb silence. If they are at the front desk making me read the menu to them, they give me a blank stare.
Holy shit, people! Just because you see the words ‘Gluten Free’ you don’t have to turn off your brain and act like sheep.
I have issues with beef. I can’t digest it, therefore I can’t eat it. When I go to a restaurant I read the menu and look for chicken, turkey, seafood or pork. I might ask some qualifying questions (Is there beef in the beans? Is the sausage pork or beef?), but I don’t assume that because I’m at a Chop House, they only serve pork chops.
If you are on a gluten free diet, these are basic principles you should know:
- The salad bar is gluten free.
- All the BBQ meat is gluten free.
- Corn, potato chips, baked potatoes, and new potatoes are gluten free.
- Breaded fish and shrimp are still full of gluten.
- French fries are cooked in the same oil as the fish so you can’t have those.
- The bread has gluten.
- Bread pudding is a no.
- So are strawberry shortcake and all of the pies because of the crust.
- You can have ice cream.
I don’t follow a gluten free diet and I can figure this shit out. People who have been on a gluten free diet all their lives should be able to figure it out as well.
The dumbest question award goes to the woman who called at 7:30 pm and made Cora go through the menu with her. She had a copy of the menu in her hotel room and asked about each and every item. Then she asked, “What time do you close?”
“A.M. or P.M.?”
Uh… I can’t think of any situation where this question made sense.