Whether you are a woman or a man, if you have to spread your legs when you sit down so your belly can hang between them, you need to go on a diet.
Diet soda is not going to help.
Ordering half the menu isn’t going to help either.
Ordering half the menu and the salad bar really isn’t going to help.
Ordering half the menu and boxing up most of it doesn’t fool anyone. We know you will soon be stuffing the food in your gaping maw with both hands.
Remember, they only make pants so big. Unless you want to start wearing a king sized sheet as clothing, you need to push away from the table.
Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.