An Open Letter to a Drunk Child

Legally you might be old enough to drink, but I decide when you’ve had enough. 

I cut you off because you obviously had too much to drink before you were (unfortunately) seated in my section.  Clapping after each person ordered clued me in that you were either over your limit or mildly retarded.  Maybe both.

Repeatedly dropping F-bombs (preceded by “mother”) is really cool when you are hanging out in a bar with your barely legal friends, but it’s a little offensive to parents with small children.  That I had to tell you TWICE to watch your mouth only confirmed my belief that the legal age should be determined on a person to person basis.  For instance, your friends were mature enough to drink, you were not.

Whining that you thought we lived in a democracy was such an intelligent argument.  My section IS a democracy until you piss me off, and then it’s a military dictatorship.

Referring to me as “Bin Laden” every time I passed your table showed me you didn’t pass high school history.  You may accurately call me Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, Mussolini, Caligula, or even a Nazi if you want to be generic.

If you’re going to insult me, get it right. 



12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Hira Animfefte
    Jul 23, 2010 @ 01:42:58

    LOL, I hear you on this one…

    Another great British insult is ‘git.’ I think it’s pronounced as in ‘git out.’ But twat is better.

    I love “git” but people around here dont get it.


  2. M.T.
    Jul 23, 2010 @ 02:06:15

    I can’t even explain why this pisses me off so much. It’s the reason I am a cook, and not a server. I would have killed this person. People like yourself, who can manage to eat this rage without commiting an act of violence are truly inspirations to me….

    I have dealt this before, and I will never do it again…

    I honestly just want to kick the shit out of the person you describe. It is the only way these people can learn…..

    Breathing deep, sigh, breathing deep….

    Hang in there Yellowcat….

    If the jackass left the restaurant drunk and killed somebody, the insurance companies would go after the last person who served him. Since I have less than nothing, they would go for the restaurant owner and eventually I would be out of a job. Plus I would have to live with the knowledge that I helped him kill somebody. This is a no win situation for me and since all I really care about is me, it was easy to cut him off and watch him prove my point. Did I want to punch him in the face? Oh, you bet. Will I ever wait on him again? Not a chance in hell.


  3. whatigotsofar
    Jul 23, 2010 @ 03:58:18

    What’s the drinking age over there, 21 right?

    Yeah. He turned 21 in January of this year. I know his name too. That’s part of the reason why I card people. Jackass.


  4. Catherine
    Jul 23, 2010 @ 04:48:24

    Excessive alcohol can change nice people into complete pillocks. Luckily most people do grow out of it.

    This kid’s dad is a cop. He has issues and a drinking problem. He will be an embarrassment.


  5. thelifeofjamie
    Jul 23, 2010 @ 06:41:22

    Drunk young kids- not fun…At least you cut the kid off. Too stupid to realize you hold the power (and the ability to make a loogie sandwich too!)

    People never get the loogie sandwich thing. It amazes me how many people will be downright rude to their server. Do you know what s/he can do to your food?


  6. Bob
    Jul 23, 2010 @ 06:53:12

    Calling you “Bin Laden”. That is funny.

    Yeah, I’m a dictator not a chicken shit terrorist. Get it right.


  7. DarcKnyt
    Jul 23, 2010 @ 10:22:00

    Wow. How embarrassed must his friends have been? What an idiot.

    They were embarrassed. One guy showed up first and got the table. He was really nice. Then another guy showed up and he was really nice. Then this asshole showed up and he started bossing me around telling me they were going to move to a bigger table and blah, blah, blah. His self importance took a hit when I told him we were on a wait list and if he wanted a bigger table, he would have to give up the one he was at and get at the end of the line outside.

    Oh, and he likely never FINISHED high school, and if he did, he certainly didn’t take history seriously.

    If you don’t learn it, you’re doomed to repeat it.

    You’re a better person than I am, sweetie. Nice job on the self-control. And AMEN! to the “person-by-person” legal drinking age thing, too. Your first legal drink should have to be in an observed setting. Act like an ass and the age is moved back.

    Hm. There’s a dystopian novel in there somewhere.

    If that were the case, I don’t think he’d ever get to drink, which wouldn’t be a bad thing. I see a real problem in his future.


  8. Sparty Girl
    Jul 23, 2010 @ 12:47:15

    I agree with you and Darc, legal drinking age should be determined case-by-case. Heck, you have to pass a test to be allowed to drive legally. Drinking should be the same. Jerk. You’re my hero, sis, I couldn’t tolerate that crap. It’s almost like you were a pre-school teacher or a HR person or something. Oh, wait…

    Well, I do have a BA in Secondary Education and I had to take a buttload of classes about how to deal with unruly teenagers. Hmmm….maybe I am using my college education.


  9. DarcsFalcon
    Jul 23, 2010 @ 14:38:27

    “… a drunk child.” There was just so much wrong with that statement, it crashed around in my brain. Why have we made alcohol such a prize? Oooh, just hang on until you’re 21 and you too can spend nights vomiting into the toilet! We treat getting drunk as though it’s some kind of initiation into adulthood, when nothing could be further from the truth.

    And we REALLY need to get over this notion that somehow putting in 21 years makes one an adult.

    You did good hon. He was over his limit, good call.

    I wish we didn’t serve alcohol. It makes my job harder for very little return.


  10. blogmella
    Jul 23, 2010 @ 15:44:30

    If I thought it possible to enforce a REAL ban on alcohol, I’d give up my right to drink. I can pace myself but for those that can’t, it is a real disaster. Booze ruins lives, mostly the lives of people AROUND the drunk.

    I’m not a fan of booze. It doesn’t make anyone a better person.


  11. morethananelectrician
    Jul 23, 2010 @ 17:41:14

    So…you’re saying your menu isn’t “clap-worthy?” Or he is actually a “twat.”

    He was actually a twat. A big greasy-haired twat.


  12. redriverpak
    Jul 23, 2010 @ 18:51:06

    Good for you! Hopefully the kid was not local and you’ll never see the kid again. If you do, have the bartender add some “extras” to his drink…. 🙂

    He is a local 😦 He’s the son of one of the Cody police officers, who is also an asshole. I doubt he’ll be back since I ruined his evening.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: