I Don’t Know What You’re Asking

Stupid questions.  I’ve talked about them before, but now I’m talking about questions that are so stupid they are un-answerable. 

Tonight a woman asked me, “Which is more mild, the beef or the turkey?”  WTH?!  What does that even mean?  I wanted to yell, “You damn well know what each tastes like, so figure it out!”  Or I wanted to put my head down and weep. 

When someone asks me a question like that, I stare at them with my mouth dropped open, looking like I’m on work release from the state school.  I know people think I’m being rude, but honestly, questions like this are so retarded they suck my IQ down to the low double digits.  This is the point where I look at the clock to see how much more time is left on my shift and wonder how much more of this shit I can take before I snap someone’s neck. 

It hurts.


Holy crap, people.  Think before you let the words out of your mouth.  Ask the question in your head a couple of times, or hell, try it out on your dinner partners, before you throw it out there like a spiked bola aimed at my brain.


10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. whatigotsofar
    Jul 28, 2010 @ 04:45:22

    I once worked a movie rental store. A guy walked and asked “You got any movies?”

    Yes, that’s the type of question I’m talking about…something that is so stupid, it must be a trick question or above your intelligence. It always takes a second or two for me to put it in the “STUPID” category and until I do, I look like a moron.


  2. Bob
    Jul 28, 2010 @ 06:46:11

    I am confused, couldn’t your restaurant put spices on the beef or the turkey to make it spicy? If the person has never been to the restaurant before then how is the question stupid?

    It’s a BBQ restaurant. Smoked meat on a plate or on a bun. Sauce on the side. There are descriptions on the menu of every item we serve. She had the menu for more than 15 minutes before she asked me a question I could not answer.


  3. noe noe girl
    Jul 28, 2010 @ 07:08:21

    You just cant fix stupid baby…sorry!

    No you can’t, but I still try.


  4. thelifeofjamie
    Jul 28, 2010 @ 07:12:39

    As we say in my house (often) STUPID HURTS!!!

    Stupid hurts the listener or the viewer.


  5. DarcKnyt
    Jul 28, 2010 @ 10:04:29

    “I don’t think I get it. Can you rephrase the question so normal humans understand your intent?”

    I find “HUH?!, “WHAT?!”, or “EXCUSE ME?!” with the right look of bafflement works well.


  6. DarcsFalcon
    Jul 28, 2010 @ 15:56:27

    Which is more mild? *eyeroll* That is so subjective! Even here, what I think is spicy hot Darc thinks is mild and tasteless. Why couldn’t she have simply asked what she meant? “Do you spice the beef or turkey, and if so, how?” DUH!!

    I was thinking which is more easy to digest. Since I can’t digest beef, I would have picked the turkey, but she picked the beef. I never considered she meant spicy. Again, people need to think about what answer they want before they ask the question.


  7. M.T.
    Jul 28, 2010 @ 19:19:14

    When I was a butcher, someone asked me what the difference between beef and pork was. I told them that one is a cow, and the other is a pig. They complained to management saying I wasn’t very helpful.

    I’m not sure how else I could have answered though.

    People constantly ask me what’s the difference between the beef and the pork. I tell them one says moo and the other says oink. They usually complain.


  8. redriverpak
    Jul 28, 2010 @ 20:21:12

    I once overhead a moron in a mexican restaurant asking the waitress what hot sauce was hotter….the mild or the hot……. I felt like throwing my basket of chips across the room at him…

    It’s that kind of stuff that is slowly making me go crazy.


  9. n
    Jul 28, 2010 @ 20:48:10

    When I worked at a seafood restaurant, there were fish tanks for lobsters and crabs. A man came in and asked how fresh were the lobsters.
    “Um, alive?”

    WTF?! I don’t think they get much fresher than that.

    Thanks for stopping by.


  10. Marianna
    Aug 01, 2010 @ 04:15:04

    A goofball asked my friend, “What’s the difference between the chicken and the fish?”. One flies, the other swims?

    And I thought “What’s the difference between the pork and the beef?” was an idiotic question. At least both of those animals are air breathing mammals.


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