Crap on Your Own Time

I clean the restrooms every night I work.  This started as a way to keep the other servers from whining about doing it, but I soon realized it is very peaceful and quiet in the restrooms and it’s a place where I can get away from everyone.  It acts as sort of a cooling down period for me. 

Tonight I was mid-way through cleaning the men’s room when Hick Cook asked if he could interrupt me.  Other cooks feel free to go in the stall and pee while I’m cleaning the sink and since I listen to my Walkman, I can’t hear them.  They all know they better not even think about taking a crap while I’m cleaning.  Boy Cook Jarrod tried a week ago and I made him do the poopie dance for 10 minutes until I finished cleaning, and I threatened him with severe harm if he left a mess.

I figured Hick Cook was shy or something, so I went to the women’s restroom and started cleaning it.  I emptied the trashes, cleaned the mirror and sink area, and restocked the toilet paper.  I was ready to clean the toilets, but I left the disinfectant in the men’s room.  Thinking Hick Cook had to be finished draining his lizard, I opened the door to the men’s room to see his big feet firmly planted under the stall while he was taking a crap.

I started yelling at him about how the correct time to take a dump is either way BEFORE I start cleaning or AFTER I’ve finished, and he cleans up any mess.  The incorrect time to take a dump is WHILE I’m cleaning, since I don’t want to smell what he had for lunch while I’m cleaning pubic hairs out of the urinal.

Somehow I doubt this will ever happen again.


11 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Bob
    Jul 30, 2010 @ 06:29:42

    Do you announce when you are cleaning the bathroom? Does Hick cook get 20 minutes notice so that he can get in there before you go in to clean?

    I clean the restrooms after all the customers have left. We close at 10 and we usually have people until at least 10:30. I’m betting he’ll figure it out.


  2. thelifeofjamie
    Jul 30, 2010 @ 06:55:29

    Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew!!!! You are brave. I don’t even want to clean my own toilet!

    Gloves and bleach. The restaurant toilets are probably cleaner than mine since they are cleaned every day as opposed to once a month at my house.


  3. whatigotsofar
    Jul 30, 2010 @ 08:16:52

    If I was cleaning a washroom and somebody had to go I would hand the person a plastic bag and say “Go in this.”

    Knowing him, he’d think I should dispose of the plastic bag.


  4. noe noe girl
    Jul 30, 2010 @ 10:37:35

    Some folks have no respect for themselves or others. Shitheads!

    It’s bad enough that I have to put up with inconsiderate customers for money, I’ll be damned if I’m putting up with inconsiderate co-workers for free.


  5. DarcKnyt
    Jul 30, 2010 @ 12:34:48

    Maybe you can set up a poop-schedule and post it on the door. You know, do it up in PowerPoint with bright colors and everything so they know when NOT to shoot one down the tubes.

    “The poopy dance” — heh. That’s funny. 🙂

    Jarrod doing the poopie dance was even funnier. Hick Cook wouldn’t understand PowerPoint. I’d have to use a big crayon and construction paper.


  6. redriverpak
    Jul 30, 2010 @ 14:21:08

    Great use of incorporating DUMP, PEE, LIZARD, PUBIC HAIR, and WALKMAN all into the same post! That is true talent! 🙂

    They are much better than the words I used in real life.


  7. blogmella
    Jul 31, 2010 @ 02:17:49

    Poor bloke! When you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go! He probably had a “turtle head”, or was “touching cloth” (as we like to say here).

    We call it “prairie dogging”. Again, there’s time before or after, but not during.


    • Becky
      Jul 31, 2010 @ 08:04:20

      Ew! That’s so gross. Lol. I have a friend that says stuff like that. She’s a beautiful, petite though feisty girl that has hung around too many boys. 🙂

      That’s my problem…and I’m old and don’t give a shit anymore.


  8. Becky
    Jul 31, 2010 @ 08:05:13

    Men are icky.

    p.s. I posted dog pics on my flickr attached to my blog. You should check them out.

    I will take a look 🙂


  9. morethananelectrician
    Jul 31, 2010 @ 09:26:46

    It sounds like that if there WAS any confusion…there isn’t now.

    That’s the thing about me…everybody knows where they stand.


  10. DarcsFalcon
    Jul 31, 2010 @ 15:59:25


    Some things should stay private and should never be done in public – like sex and pooping. Icky icky icky!

    I wish we had an employee restroom so we could have a little privacy.


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