The other night my last table was a very pleasant family. Mom, dad and three early teen kids. They were very polite and full of smiles and questions. The mom was quite pretty and had this captivating smile that made me smile and feel all happy. And then she gestured at the menu…
OMG!! She had midget fingers! I nearly passed out. For the rest of the order I was busy looking for other signs of midget-ism which would explain her grotesque fingers, but she was normal size. Her legs were touching the floor while seated, her arms were longer than mine, her palms were about the same size as mine, but her fingers…OMFG! The longer she pointed at the menu, the more queasy I felt. Then she ordered for the kids by pointing at each of them. I felt myself going light headed and I knew I was going to throw up and pass out if she didn’t stop showing me her hands.
As soon as I could break away from the table I ran (in horror) to the waitstation. I told everyone in there (standing around doing nothing) about the midget fingers. While I was getting their drinks, one of the boy twins said, “Man, I wish I could go out there and see her fingers, but there’s already one of me out there. Some people find that freaky.” HAHAHAHA! Maybe he was putting me in my place or maybe he was stating a fact of his life.
I spent the rest of my time with the family avoiding eye contact with the fingers and praying that one of them wouldn’t touch me. I would have passed out for sure.