By and large, I really don’t like bikers.

What’s the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

The position of the dirt bag.

Every year in August the town of Sturgis, South Dakota hosts a huge bike rally.  For three weeks or so we are inundated with people on their way to the rally.  Some of them are funny, respectful and tip well, but the majority of them are rude, drunk, obnoxious, cheap, and smelly.  That’s on the way TO Sturgis.  On the way FROM Sturgis, they are rude, hung over, obnoxious, broke, and they stink.

Monday night I had a table of 6 men, all in their early 60s who were disgusting.  First, they started bitching that the restaurant was “run by a buncha Yankees.”  We aren’t Yankees.  Get your geography straight.  Then they asked if there was a “gentleman’s club” in town.  When I said no, they asked if there was a whore house.  I’m not amused.  The first time I went to check on them after I delivered their food, one guy said, “Y’all shouldn’t cook catfish anymore because you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing.”  Nice.  Really nice.  The next time I went out to check on them another guy said, “The Cole slaw tastes like shit and isn’t worth feeding to my dog.”  That pissed me off since I like our Cole slaw.  I said, “Sir, I get paid to be nice, but my paycheck is running out as is my WESTERN hospitality.”  They left soon after, but of course they bitched at the register trying to get free meals.

Today I had a group of two couples who started bitching as soon as I started pouring water.  I finally got their order and one of the men asked if he could have some eggs from the salad bar.  I told him he was welcome to get whatever he wanted from the salad bar for $4.79.  The other guy said, “Maybe we should have eaten somewhere else.”  I told him, “It’s not too late…”  Don’t even try to bully me, fucker.

Some of the bikers have made the younger servers cry because they are so rude.  It isn’t sexual harassment, it’s straight out rude, hateful behaviour.  Being the bitch I am, I sometimes pick up these tables when the other servers refuse to wait on them.  The bikers tow the line with me…eyes down, speaking when spoken to, yes or no answers…yet when they get to the register, they are nasty mean with the young cashiers.

Then there were the 8-10 men who walked in the restaurant and decided they were going to start eating off the salad bar before they even had a table.  Four or five of them informed me of what they WERE going to do and I assured them that they WERE NOT.  Just call me Glory, the Funstopper. 

I swear I’m a schoolmarm with a bunch of juvenile delinquents rather than a waitress. 

There’s still at least two more weeks of this shit.


13 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. roadrunner
    Aug 07, 2010 @ 01:17:21

    Man, I don’t envy you. Please hang in there…

    Only a couple more weeks…


  2. Catherine
    Aug 07, 2010 @ 01:30:42

    I think you should carry a taser in your apron pocket and be allowed to use it on anyone you think needs it to keep them in line!

    Brilliant idea, but how many times a night would I accidently tase myself?


  3. DarcsFalcon
    Aug 07, 2010 @ 01:33:04

    The position of the dirt bag. ROFLMFAO!!

    I spent some time on the back of a bike as a kid – a Honda not a Harley. There were jokes about Harleys and their riders. 😉 Most of the bikers I met were nice guys who just liked bikes. But that was when we were kids in the 70s. Honestly, the guys I knew back then would be ashamed to be associated with these kinds of characters now.

    You keep showing them who’s boss.

    I remember bikers being considerate when I was a kid, too. Maybe because I was a kid and not a servant server. I think they are also nice if you appear to be a biker yourself.


  4. DarcsFalcon
    Aug 07, 2010 @ 01:33:42

    Oh, I sent some email to Mella. Haven’t heard from her in a while and started to worry. Have you been in touch with her?

    No. I wondered about her yesterday, but I haven’t had a chance to investigate her whereabouts.


  5. whatigotsofar
    Aug 07, 2010 @ 05:10:05

    Wow. The motorcycle clubs up here in Canada are much more respectful, I’ve found. You know, just so long as you don’t move in on their turf. Cuz that’ll get you killed.

    HAHAHA! Yeah well, they are on MY turf now and they should respect that.


  6. thelifeofjamie
    Aug 07, 2010 @ 07:04:32

    How awful! It’s like that movie Wild Hogs…the people paid the bikers back by burning down their bar- just a suggestion! 🙂
    The place where I used to work was often host to two different biker gangs- Hell’s Angels and Mongols. Quite scary. i will say that I never had a problem, but I know the police were called often. Be careful girl!

    We had the Hell’s Angels here a few years ago and I think there was one police officer for every 10 people. It was insane. The bikers were on their best behaviour here, but when they moved on they had some gang violence and a few bikers ended up dead.


  7. beckyb26
    Aug 07, 2010 @ 07:49:00

    This and your other recent posts have me feeling bad for you. Hang in there!

    I’ve been feeling bad for myself so I plan to tell a few stories that aren’t restaurant related in the next few days.


  8. DarcKnyt
    Aug 07, 2010 @ 09:43:48

    Okay, the dirt bag joke made me LOL, dammit. I’ve told you about that before, and yet you continue to make me LOL. *Sigh*

    I’m going to eat eggs off your salad bar now.

    You can have free salad bar anytime you want.


  9. morethananelectrician
    Aug 07, 2010 @ 10:38:27

    The taser idea is brilliant…but it wouldn’t be too good for repeat business. But who wants repeat business from “dirtbags” anyway?

    Exactly, but I’d be tempted to use it on the locals too.


  10. blunt delivery
    Aug 07, 2010 @ 14:46:19



    i will concur that bikers have usually rubbed me the wrong way, and i don’t like to look at them directly in the eye.

    i also feel like they are mentally undressing me in their minds when they look at me.

    perhaps i have some subconscious problems to get over.

    well, that’s a given.

    I don’t feel that they are undressing me, maybe they’d pay more if they were, I feel that they treat me like shit and are cheap bastards. I don’t react well to that. If you’re going to be cheap, you better be nice. If you’re going to be an ass, you better pay for the privilege.


  11. redriverpak
    Aug 07, 2010 @ 17:24:43

    I agree with the taser idea! First, you subtely spill some water on the victim…..then taser the hell out of him as you are pretending to clean up the spilled water! (Out of sight of the security camera of course…)

    Does getting tased cause people to pee their pants? Cuz I don’t want to have to clean that up.


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