Today three shifty looking twenty-ish year olds found their way into my section.  They all wanted to know the cheapest way they could get lots of food.  I almost said, “By going to Walmart,” but I didn’t.  Instead I told them about having their sandwiches on garlic toast rather than on a bun.  They ordered 3 sandwiches and asked for separate tickets.

I'm watching you.

I’ve been burned on the shifty people asking for separate tickets thing so I didn’t take my eyes off them. 

When I brought the food out, I asked if the young woman would like steak sauce.  She asked if it was free.  Uh…most condiments are.

When they finished, I gave them their tickets and told them I would be their cashier.  One of the guys handed me his credit card and the woman said, “Oh, we’ll take care of the other two at the register.”

I don’t think so.  Been there, done that, got screwed.

I repeated, “I will be your cashier at the table.”

The other kid fished his credit card out of his wallet and the woman asked if he could cover her meal since she didn’t have any money.

How were you going to take care of your ticket at the register if you don’t have any money?  Oh, that’s right.  You weren’t.

I ran both credit cards, fully expecting them to be declined, but they were approved.  I returned the slips to the table and forgot about them.  Then Goth Girl freaked out because only one credit card slip was on the table, the slip from the two who wanted to “pay” at the register was gone. 

Many people believe that if a business doesn’t have a signature on the credit card slip, they can’t charge you.  Many people are wrong.  The only time a credit card slip is necessary is if there is a dispute on charges.  If he disputes the charge, we have him on the security tape.  It’s hard to argue with that.

Since I’m not so rabid about cashing out at the table during lunch, they could have walked on at least two tickets if they hadn’t wanted everything cheap or for free. 



16 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Bob
    Aug 18, 2010 @ 05:37:50

    People honestly think that if you don’t have the slip then they can’t be charged? So stupid.

    People ARE stupid.


  2. thelifeofjamie
    Aug 18, 2010 @ 06:54:16

    Good times! Way to get them Detective!

    Nobody is getting a free meal on me again.


  3. whatigotsofar
    Aug 18, 2010 @ 06:59:51

    good on you for noticing that they might be scammers

    but wouldn’t somebody not planning on paying order something regardless of price. if i wasn’t going to pay, i’d order the kobe fed lobster or whatever, who cares about how much it costs, i ain’t payin’!

    I would imagine they order what they can afford so if the scam doesn’t work, they aren’t completely screwed.


  4. izziedarling
    Aug 18, 2010 @ 08:12:23

    You are the smartest person ever. Ever!

    No, I’m the dumbest person. It has taken how many skipped tickets before I caught on?


  5. DarcKnyt
    Aug 18, 2010 @ 10:45:01

    Only time I’m ever asked to sign a slip is when it’s over $30 for food at a restaurant. Under that they just run it and hand it back. Don’t know why these idiots think otherwise.

    Oh, that’s right…because they’re IDIOTS. *Sigh*

    I wish I could see their faces when they realize the charge went through. Idiots.


  6. Fuck My Table
    Aug 18, 2010 @ 10:50:44

    Good job for noticing the red flag. I would have certainly been keeping an eye on them as well, but I’m already the cashier (indeed, the only cashier for them as we don’t have one at the front).

    I think I WOULD have said something about her not having money but wanting to pay up front, just to make it clear that I’m not stupid and they’d have to be crazy to try running out on a tab here again.

    I always watch dirty, shifty people, but it’s the mom -n- pop ones who get away.


  7. redriverpak
    Aug 18, 2010 @ 16:23:15

    Sounds like your Restaurant would be a good subject for a future Quentin Tarantino movie. Of course, you would get to star as the gun and knife wielding waitress who gets to violently bludgeon, beat, shoot, stab, and burn all her crazy customers to death….in slow motion….. 🙂

    I’m almost ready to have a true crime movie of the week made about me.


  8. Nycgirl
    Aug 18, 2010 @ 19:18:11

    Normally I’m frightened to leave NYC and unleash myself on the rest of America, but I am DYING to come to Cody and see you handle these douchelords in action. I read your entries and think, “Who ARE these people??”

    But they are everywhere. I read other server’s blogs and they go through the same crap, sometimes on the same day, as I do. People are assholes.


  9. DarcsFalcon
    Aug 18, 2010 @ 22:53:32

    Wow. Something is definitely going on up there! Every time you turn around someone is trying to cheat you, either through the price of their meal or the tip. Have you noticed an upswing in this sort of thing or is this par for the course?

    I think it’s worse this year than in years past. Tip percentages are down, complaints are up. I really think people don’t have the money so nothing is worth the price they pay.


    • Bob
      Aug 19, 2010 @ 05:29:17

      if they don’t have the money then why don’t they stay home and cook something? It is a hell of a lot cheaper to eat at home. Lazy asses.

      I think they were traveling. Imagine a bunch of dirty hippies and you’ve got them.


      • Fuck My Table
        Aug 19, 2010 @ 14:36:46

        That’s what I think. My husband and I don’t go out to eat if we can’t afford both the food and the tip. We’ve been eating only at home for a few months now, with maybe one or two nights a month dining out. Trying to save money, unlike a lots of idiots out there.

        People would rather go out to eat, not pay attention to the price, then bitch about the total bill, rather than take responsibility for their own choices.


  10. redriverpak
    Aug 19, 2010 @ 07:35:58

    “Douchelords”… I love it! 🙂


  11. Sparty Girl
    Aug 19, 2010 @ 14:32:54

    Nice work, Colombo! Keep ’em honest.


  12. redriverpak
    Aug 20, 2010 @ 06:58:54

    I am going to be spotlighting your blog on my own site this afternoon. Prepare to be deluged with THOUSANDS of new fans!…….OK….so maybe I don’t know THOUSANDS…..but you should get visits from the 3 or 4 people I do know…. 🙂

    Well thank you! I finally made it to Laramie (I turned a 5 hour drive into a 2 day event) so I’ll give it a look when my eyes uncross.


  13. zman
    Aug 21, 2010 @ 17:17:11


    Good to see someone is keepin these youngsters honest….where are the damn parents that are suppose to be teaching the difference between right and wrong……see now that i am back in your restaurant i am jonesing for a BLT……zman sends

    Good to see you! The best BLT in Cody is at the airport restaurant.


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