The fun thing about awards is you get to show off. Think of it as the Academy Awards for bloggers.
My normal outfit is a tee shirt, jeans, and Crocs, so when accepting this award I’ve decided to wear Cate Blanchette’s dress from the 1999 Academy Awards ceremony.
The only difference between Ms. Blanchette and I is I have better hair. I have time to condition my tresses, but I’m sure if she would stay home instead of making movies all over the world, she’d have beautiful hair, too. You can’t have everything.
Since there is no such thing as a free lunch (or a free blogger award) there are terms and conditions attached. I have to thank the person who gave it to me, share seven things about myself and give it to others who I feel are deserving.
No sweat right?!
I’m so desperate for attention, I almost wore JLo’s 2000 Grammy dress, so naturally, I’ll accept the terms and conditions. Also, I didn’t want any of my blogger friends broken and bleeding while they fought over me showing Ms. Lopez how to make that dress work.
I received the award from two wonderful ladies, Molly Malone at Life of Cynicism and Izzy Darling at The Whatever Factor. Both women write incredible blogs and I’m grateful for their adulation, but if they think I’m listing 14 things about myself they are dead wrong…unless they have vodka. A little vodka and I’ll overshare about myself AND everyone I know, plus I’ll tell you everything I think you need to know. Good times.
So, seven things about myself. It’s no coincidence that there are seven deadly sins.
1. Lust–I like younger men…much, much younger.
2. Gluttony–I work in a restaurant where I always have something to eat, and young men willing to feed me. ‘Nuff said.
3. Greed–I’m not greedy. I learned to share in kindergarten, but I decide what I share. In most things, there’s plenty to go around.
4. Sloth–I am the laziest person I know. Some days I think about waiting tables in a wheel chair.
5. Wrath–DO NOT piss me off. Your parade will turn into a shitstorm of epic proportions. Really.
6. Envy–I’m not an envious person. I’m happy when others succeed and try to help them in any way I can.
7. Pride–I am vain, stubborn, and prideful. I will cut off my nose to spite my face and say I don’t care. But I do care.
Before I leave for the round of award parties here’s a list of some of my favourite blogs. I have great people in my blog roll too so be sure to check them out.
Cooking up a Revolution Stories from the back of the house. It’s hot in the kitchen.
The Only Slightly Cranky Waitress She works for a corporate restaurant and hasn’t killed a manager yet. She deserves an award for that.
Vodka and Ground Beef Some of the funniest shit I’ve ever read.
Fuck my Table A younger, slightly more hostile look at the restaurant business. Think of me off my meds.
Tales from the Trailer Park Trailer Park Barbie writes like I talk when I’m shitfaced drunk: a hundred miles an hour and all over the place. Try to keep up with her and don’t piss yourself laughing.
What I Got So Far There’s just something about him, but I’m sure he hears that a lot.
Thank you all for reading, I couldn’t do it without you, the fans. Now go back to your miserable lives, keep shelling out money to buy my stuff, don’t forget I’m better than you and stop blocking the the red carpet to my limo. I have more important places to be.