“Should We Leave?”

I’m just about out of patience.

Tonight was pretty busy and there were a couple of times I was so deep in the weeds I had stickers in my shorts.  Things started to calm down about 30 minutes before we closed.  Then Dani and I got two tables each within 15 minutes of closing.  My last table was a 4 top with only 2 people there.  It was 6 minutes before close, so I POLITELY told the two guys that their party needed to arrive before 9 or the kitchen would close.  They were under the impression they could hold the table and wait 20 minutes or so for the rest of their party to arrive.  Lucky for them, the rest of their party arrived right at 9.  Fuckers.

They knew we were closed when they ordered.  The young woman just couldn’t make up her mind.  Her boyfriend read almost every single item on the menu to her.

“Do you want a steak?”


“Do you want fish and chips?”


“Do you…” want your server to punch you in the throat?


Finally, he said, “Well, I guess you’re not getting anything.”

This took 5 complete minutes.

They got their food, ate, had more beers, and talked.  At 40 minutes after 9, I went to their table to give them their check.

“What do you have for dessert?”  Oh fuck me.

I told him and he asked, “So, are you closed?  Should we leave or should I order a dessert?”  Yes, you moron, we are closed.  You knew we were closed when you sat down.  And how the fuck should I answer your question?  No, I don’t want you to order dessert.  I want you to get the hell out, but if I tell you that you’ll run to the owner and tell him I was a big meanie.

I put on my smile and said the choice was his.  I would make a dessert if he wanted one or he could leave if he didn’t.  Naturally, he ordered the dessert.  And they sat there for another 20 minutes.

The ticket total was just over $55.  My tip was $5. 

Fuck you very much.



12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. DarcsFalcon
    Oct 07, 2010 @ 00:01:02

    I would be enraged.

    I was.

    Once, when I was working at a bank, a woman walked in about 2 min to close. After I’d balanced my cash drawer. She had several transactions that took about half an hour. As she left she said, “Don’t you just hate it when people walk in at the last minute and keep you past closing time?”

    I really wanted to strangle that woman. And her silly faux leopard beret.

    I like to find where people like her work so I can go in right at closing time and and waste their time.

    For what it’s worth, I’m sorry they were so crappy to you.

    All in all it was a good night. People were nice and tipped adequately. I just hate it when my first or last table are jerks.


  2. Catherine
    Oct 07, 2010 @ 00:22:22

    I used to work in a garden centre that was open till 9pm. We had to keep the doors open to customers until 9pm and the amount of times customers wandered in at 5 to 9 was unreal. To try hurry them up we would give them personal attention and explain that the store was closing in a few minutes. This never worked. There were serial offenders who seemed to enjoy the one-to-one attention. And no one ever tipped.

    Some people are sorry to come in late, others just dig their heels in and waste more time. There is a special place in Hell for inconsiderate people.


  3. Sherri
    Oct 07, 2010 @ 05:10:01

    Oh, that’s the worst! People who come in right at closing are bad, because you’re already tired and have been looking forward to closing, and then BOOM you get to work another hour. You can’t do your clean up stuff because they MIGHT want something…like dessert. It sucks, no doubt about it. They could have at least made it worth your while. Oblivious assholes.

    People don’t realize/care that if they come in AT closing, it means at least another hour for me. The standard wage for servers is $2.13 an hour, so that 5 dollar tip brought me close to minimum wage. That is so not worth an extra hour of my time.


  4. DarcKnyt
    Oct 07, 2010 @ 12:51:22

    Why? Why do people do this? And it’s every restaurant, in every city, at some point.

    I do.not.under.stand.

    Because they are inconsiderate assholes and as Samhenry pointed out, it gives them a sense of power. There are some servers & cooks who would give them a little something extra in their food for this shit. People really should think.


  5. izziedarling
    Oct 07, 2010 @ 14:04:20

    Oh, the things I wish you could say to these booger-eaters.

    I say lots of shit under my breath as I’m walking away. I know they can see my face in the salad bar mirror and frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.


  6. whatigotsofar
    Oct 07, 2010 @ 14:58:09

    Seriously, get the heck outta dodge an’ into some place where customers aren’t total dicks.

    I don’t know where that would be. No matter where you go, dicks abound.


  7. samhenry
    Oct 07, 2010 @ 17:12:11

    Those types know what they are doing and because they are dorks, keeping a poor woman waiting on them after closing is their way of having power. In all other quarters they are wilted weenies. You handled it well and a great post was the result. I’m not sure I could have done that. I would have bitten them and given them rabies for dessert.

    Thanks for stopping by!

    Rabies for dessert was just what they deserved.


  8. redriverpak
    Oct 07, 2010 @ 18:20:52

    I swear….every time I think that there is no possible way you could ever get ruder people on the planet to serve…..you come up with new ones….post after post…after post….. How you stand it all is a mystery to me…..most women would have snapped a long time ago…. Power to ya Yellowcat! You are like a Server Superhero! 🙂

    I’m not making this up. Honest. Every time I think there is no possible way I could ever get ruder people to serve, I find there are new ones. I don’t know how I stand it either. I’m not the most patient person in the world.


  9. Hira Animfefte
    Oct 07, 2010 @ 23:44:12

    I love you, yellowcat. Now I am embarassed, because I am sure I have been one of those ‘squeaking in before close’ people. And also reminding my companion that maybe we should be going, because they are cleaning around us and giving us dirty looks.

    Yes, I confess, I have been that person. But I tip well! Always at least 20%! Or more!

    Forgive me, yellowcat, for I have sinned.

    I don’t hate people who come in at close. We stop serving at a certain time and I expect tables until that time. We have lots of work to do after close so it’s no problem to clean around people. However, there is a time limit and and once that is reached, it’s time to go. Tipping well always extends the time limit.


  10. Fuck My Table
    Oct 08, 2010 @ 01:41:08

    Those people are fuckers. Fucking assholes.

    If I ever come in to a restaurant just before close, I will leave as quickly as possible and leave a LARGE fucking tip to make up for it. And for the record, this coming in right before closing thing only happens when family members choose the time and venue. I try to talk them out of it, explaining how fucking irritating it is for servers. But they still do it.

    I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with people, but anytime I hear, “Oh good we just made it,” I convince them otherwise and suggest the Applebee’s down the road. Managers don’t like it, but keeping staff on for an extra hour just to serve a few assholes doesn’t make sense. You know what? That’s the next thing I’m going to post about. Dumbass managers who don’t know a damn bit about finances and business.

    And I’m sorry if I made absolutely no sense. I got a little drunk earlier and I’m still kinda up there. I’m getting better, but after riding my own train at home, my energy is zip. I’m only up because I’m waiting for my dog to eat his dinner. I bet my server had a really good night because I tip even more extravagantly than normal once I’ve had some alcohol in me. I’ll come back and read this tomorrow and go “what the fuck was I doing?”. Good night!

    HAHAHA! You made perfect sense.

    I’ve had people come in one minute after close and get all pissed because we won’t serve them. It costs more, just in employee hours, to serve one late table than what their ticket total will be. When people stomp out and shout, “I GUESS THEY DON’T WANT OUR MONEY!” they are being retarded. We will actually lose money serving them.

    When Darren first became the manager, he made the decision to seat 2 guys who came in after close. One guy ordered catfish, which takes 25 minutes to cook. Their ticket total was less than $40, but two cooks, the dishwasher, the cashier, and two servers had to stay an extra hour and a half for the one table. That’s $66 in wages alone. If you figure in the cost of the food, and electricity, the restaurant went deep in the hole. But the kicker was they told me how much they appreciated the late service, gave me $5 and told me to split it between all the workers for staying late. A whopping 83 cents for everybody. Assholes.


  11. Ahmnodt Heare
    Oct 08, 2010 @ 13:22:00

    You should find where the bad customers work and return the favor sometime. I think it’s the only way they learn.

    Sadly, some people never learn.


  12. Vodka and Ground Beef
    Oct 09, 2010 @ 00:30:18

    That is some Class-A bullshite. Unbelievable. Tell me your dessert was a few oreo cookies you smashed up along with some glass shards.

    No, it was strawberry shortcake I considered spitting into.


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