We were dead slow tonight. Wednesdays usually kick my ass, but it was like a ghost town in the restaurant. The weather took a turn for the worse this week and maybe the winter chill kept people at home.
One of my few tables was a group of 6 people. I could tell right away that the older lady was a rocket scientist. When I asked for their drink order she said she just wanted water and maybe some hot tea. There are no “maybes” here, you either want it or you don’t.
I seriously hate that shit. As I was ranting in the waitstation about how much I hate it, Angel said, “Maybe she just likes the word ‘maybe’.” Yeah, that must be it.
During the drink order, two of the younger people asked for beer and I asked to see their IDs. The older lady cackled and asked how old I thought the young woman was. Obviously, I thought she was under 21 or I wouldn’t have asked for her ID. After I made sure they were both over 21, the old lady cackled again and asked me which one was older. Uh…since ’84 came before ’87 I guessed the girl was older.
“No! Which one looks older?”
Well, fuck me. The girl looked vain and used to compliments, the young man looked uncomfortable and a little sick. I knew just how he felt.
In the end, they tipped very well and kept me from walking home from work, unlike my last table which came in at 2 minutes before close, left 55 minutes after close and tipped me $2 on a $35 ticket. Assholes.
Chetto and I poke fun at Boy Cook Jarrod. He is such an easy target.
BC Jarrod: When I was a little fat kid, I found some brown paint chips by our garage. I thought they were chocolate chips so I ate them.
Me: That explains a lot.
Chetto: Yes, it does.
BC Jarrod: (Blank stare at me.) (Blank stare at Chetto.)
15 seconds pass
Chetto: What are the sides on the beef plate?
Me: Beans and corn.
BC Jarrod: That doesn’t explain anything.
Chetto: Dude, WTF? We’re done with that conversation.
Me: (Head in my hands.)
BC Jarrod: I don’t want people thinking I’m dumber than I actually am.
Chetto: No worries there.