When a Conversation Should End.

Good for you.

Smart people do not discuss religion or politics.  I think I’ve given multiple examples of how dumb, inconsiderate, insensitive, rude and/or clueless my customers are.

Today was election day.  My day went something like this:

Me:  Hello, how are you?

Customers:  Did you vote today?

Me:  No, I did not.

This should be the end of the conversation.  Any remaining dialog should be about the meal.

Customer:  Why not?

Me:  I am not able to.  Would you care for something to drink?

Okay, I’ve given a verbal clue that the conversation needs to move back to the dining experience and away from my personal life.

Customer:  Why can’t you vote.

Me:  (smirk) I’m a convicted felon.

Screech, derail, crash, burn.  Most people got on with the ordering process, but a few dimwits persisted.

Customer:  What did you do?

Me:  I killed someone in a knife fight.

And that, my friends, is where the conversation always ended.

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9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. DarcsFalcon
    Nov 02, 2010 @ 23:02:44

    ROFL! Good one!

    I remember many years ago, Arsenio Hall asked Steven Seagal if he’d voted. Seagal turned full face to Hall and said, “No” in as menacing a tone as possible. Arsenio had the good sense to drop it right then and there, lol.

    HAHAHA! I know it’s just a conversation starter, but if you aren’t sure of the answer, you shouldn’t ask the question.

    Reply

  2. Artswebshow
    Nov 03, 2010 @ 01:45:17

    LOL. what kind of knife was it

    A really sharp one from the kitchen.

    Reply

  3. thelifeofjamie
    Nov 03, 2010 @ 07:28:04

    My neighbor is an ULTRA conservative (gasp) and tries to engage me in politics at every turn- even after I told him I DON’T discuss politics!!!

    I refuse to discuss politics or religion. It’s pointless.

    Did you really knife somebody, or is it because you are British?

    I’m not British.

    Reply

  4. Fuck My Table
    Nov 03, 2010 @ 09:24:09

    I hate it when people want to discuss religion and politics while I’m trying to serve them! I’m like…this is a conflict of interest for me, because I’m afraid if I offend you that, best case scenario, I get stiffed…and worst case scenario I get fired!

    “Why aren’t you at church?”
    “I don’t go to church.”
    “Well, why not?”
    “Because I’m here serving you. If you want me to go to church, don’t come out to eat on Sunday mornings.”

    “Who did you vote for?”
    “I don’t think that’s anyone’s business but mine.”
    “But it’s important!”
    “Yes, and I’ve already voted, so it shouldn’t matter to anyone but the person I voted for.”

    I actually didn’t vote because apparently my address change didn’t get processed…and since I moved across county lines, I’m not eligible. Too bad I didn’t know this until voting day….oops!

    People want to know that you are just like they are. Guess what?! I’m probably not. I’m working to serve food and drinks, not to discuss my personal beliefs or my life outside of work.

    Reply

  5. Ahmnodt Heare
    Nov 03, 2010 @ 13:26:34

    Voting is private for a reason. I try not to discuss politics, but in my profession, it’s unavoidable.
    I also don’t talk about religion and I never answer a woman who asks if she looks fat in a given outfit.

    Reply

  6. DarcKnyt
    Nov 03, 2010 @ 22:29:58

    Ha! I’m stealing that one. Good one.

    Glad I could help. 😉

    Reply

  7. wigsf
    Nov 04, 2010 @ 04:33:38

    What the fuck kind of moron asks “What did you do?”

    If I’m in a conversation that includes “I’m a convicted felon,” I walk away right there.

    That would end it for me as well, but I don’t stick my nose in other people’s business.

    But then again, in Canada, convicted felons can vote. Oh hell, they vote while still doing their abbreviated time in prison.

    Reply

  8. LS
    Nov 04, 2010 @ 13:10:56

    I can’t stand vote-nagging from any persuasion.
    In my book, if a person needs nagging to vote, then I don’t want them voting.

    Exactly. If you aren’t an informed voter, you shouldn’t just cast your vote because it’s the “right” thing to do or because everyone nags you into it. I wouldn’t have voted for any of the fuckers in our local election anyway. They are all a bunch of liars, crooks, and/or drunks.

    Reply

  9. sarah shivers
    Dec 03, 2011 @ 12:42:29

    Whenever I am asked “Did you vote” I say “yes” (even though I didn’t) and when they say “who did you vote for” I say “Whatever person that will give me the best tip from you” 🙂 they usually laugh.

    Reply

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