WTF Is Wrong with People?

Tonight was Slap Your Kid Around Night.  I had two different tables who felt it was okay to yell, shove, and slap their kids.  Now, I’m all about discipline, but there’s a fine line between discipline and being a jackass.

I was in the process of setting down the first table’s drink order when the boy (about 8 years old) jumped up from the booth and rushed to the other side to his mom.  He nearly knocked me down in the process, but whatever, he’s a kid.  I’ve had adults do far more rude things to me.  His mom yelled at him, and gave him a good shove, which pushed him into me and caused me to spill half a pitcher of water on the floor.  Her fault not his.  I ignored the whole thing, not wanting it to escalate into child abuse, but she continued to bitch at him until she made him cry.  I walked away from the table and let them sit for a full 5 minutes before I went back to get their order.  Their ticket total was $68 and she left me $3.  I expected less.

The second table took me by surprise.  The dad seemed very loving with the children, the mom seemed sweet as pie.  The mom ordered catfish, which takes forever and a day, and as I took food to surrounding tables, I could tell she was getting edgy.  The food finally came out and the mom kept getting increasingly more bitchy with every trip I made to the table.  She asked for more sour cream and rib sauce when I was in the process of taking out food for another table, so I asked Cora to run it for me.  That meant I ignored them.  Yeah, cuz Cora is psychic and just knew they needed more sour cream and rib sauce.  The mom asked for a box and when I handed it to her, one of the boys (about 6 years old) reached up and took it from me to hand to his mother.  I smiled at him, he smiled at me. 


I said, “Your name is Quinn?  I have a boy named Quinn.” 

He said, “My name is spelled K-w-i-n, how does your son spell his name?” 

Then his mom reached over her husband and smacked the kid on the top of the head.  It sounded like somebody thwacked a pumpkin. 

I know I must have had an absolutely horrified look on my face and I couldn’t stop, “Well, that was cool,” from coming out of my mouth.  The kid started crying and I wanted to punch her in the face.

When they went to the register, the mom had a laundry list of complaints:  the BLT was 20 cents more expensive on the ticket than on the kid’s menu (yep, my fault), their food was cold (probably because the cooks put everything up in the window while waiting on the catfish.  Again, my fault), I never went to their table (bullshit) and they had to ask for everything they wanted (damn, my psychic ability isn’t working again).  The real issue was she smacked her kid when it wasn’t called for.  Their ticket was $58 and she left me $2.  Bitch.

Tonight was a shitty night.  Shitty tippers, shitty parents, shitty supervisor.  Tomorrow’s another day.


10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Fuck My Table
    Nov 13, 2010 @ 10:13:09

    I can’t stand people who smack their kids around. I have an incredibly hard time biting my tongue. I’ve given away tables just so I didn’t have to go back and risk getting fired for yelling at a parent over it.

    I know they’re not my kids, and they can parent however they want, yadda, yadda….but there IS a line between discipline (which is usually called for) and abuse (which is not).

    I don’t see people get shitty with their kids very often so it really shocks me when they do.


  2. Ahmnodt Heare
    Nov 13, 2010 @ 10:15:53

    You should make a video on how to behave (and how not to behave) at a restaurant. It’s a shame society has come to this, but it has. You can have TV monitors at the tables looping the video until people get it.

    I don’t know if that would help. I don’t treat my dogs the way these two women treated their kids.


  3. Katie
    Nov 13, 2010 @ 11:57:11

    That sucks. Poor kids.

    I know. My son was something of a shit when he was young, so we had some public discipline sessions. Those consisted of me grabbing him by the front of the shirt and hauling him in for an extreme close up where I would whisper the pain he was going to suffer when we got home. That almost always solved the problem. If it didn’t, we left wherever we were.


  4. Sparty Girl
    Nov 13, 2010 @ 14:57:56

    Before I had kids I used to feel sorry for the little buggers if they were screaming or crying in public. Now I know better: I feel sorry for the parents. It sounds like in these two cases the parents were the problem, though. Jerks.

    I’ve always had a low tolerance for screaming kids. When a kid starts pitching a fit, it’s time to go home.


  5. Ignorethebucklesonmyjacket
    Nov 13, 2010 @ 16:21:59

    I wonder if these people are available to come to my house to take care of my kids…they could use a good thrashing.

    All kids could use a good thrashing now and then. 🙂


  6. workingtechmom
    Nov 13, 2010 @ 17:05:45

    must have been something in the air for it to happen with two different tables…did the moms look alike? maybe they were sisters.

    They looked nothing alike except for the crazy look in their eyes.


  7. Trackback: Parenting and Alcohol « Fuck My Table
  8. DarcsFalcon
    Nov 14, 2010 @ 00:37:35

    Wow, that’s just so sad. There was no smackable offense those kids made. Perhaps a verbal admonishment for the one who almost knocked you down, you know, “Watch where you’re going, you almost knocked the lady down!” But a smack? Not for either case.

    I am all for discipline, and have found in the past that the Vulcan pinch works great in public, as does that shirt-pull thing you did. But thunking on the head because he asked how your son spelled his name, or because he announced how he spelled his? So not cool!

    There are all sorts of invisible ways to discipline your kids. Smacking them around only makes the parent look like an asshole.


  9. TheIdiotSpeaketh
    Nov 15, 2010 @ 14:25:02

    We have dragged many a kid out of a public place so that we could read them the riot act in private, but would never think of doing the crap you witnessed. Good Lord your place is a magnet isn’t it?

    My kids learned at an early age that they either behaved in public or they got to listen to me scream at them all the way home then they got to sit in their room until I stopped being pissed off. I can stay pissed a really long time.


  10. Jamie
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 21:07:57

    definitely one of the more depressing blogs. 😦 reason no. 2 I am not having children: I would probably hit them. sad.

    At the very least, you’d forget to put clothes on them.


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