A Close Call

AHHHH!! We're all gonna die!

The other night I was driving home, fiddling around with my Walkman trying to find a song which didn’t suck (my kids would tell you it’s an impossible task).  Usually I meander, but that night I was going about 5 miles an hour over the speed limit.  For me, that’s hauling ass.  As I rounded a corner at the bottom of the Meeteetse Rim, a little voice in my head reminded me that I was entering a high deer area.  High as in lots of deer, not deer having a good time.  I raised my eyes from my Walkman in time to see about 20 white butts on the highway.

‘Oh shit,’ I thought.  ‘Deer.  NO!  ELK!  ELK!’

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!

I slammed on my brakes and everything in the back came flying to the front, everything in the front tried to force its way into the engine compartment.  There were elk everywhere and I was in the middle of them.  It’s times like that I let Jesus take the wheel and I bend over and kiss my ass good-bye. 

Hit me!

As luck would have it, elk aren’t nearly as stupid as deer or antelope.  The phrase ‘deer in the headlights look’ wasn’t coined because deer flee as soon as they see an oncoming car.  No, they stand in the middle of the road and wait to be carcasses.  Antelope will run full speed into the side of a car.  Elk, probably because they don’t see many cars, haul ass in the other direction.  Thanks be to God because otherwise I’d be walking to work now.

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8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Ahmnodt Heare
    Nov 20, 2010 @ 06:29:16

    The deer around here are kamikaze. There is hardly a day when there isn’t a deer carcass along the side of the road.

    Here too. I don’t see the actual deer since the highway department picks them up before I go to work, but I see the blood and guts all over the road. Barf.

    There was an incident a few years ago when somebody was spraying deer urine on the front of bumpers, though they never found out who did it.

    o_O Why?!

    Reply

    • Ahmnodt Heare
      Nov 21, 2010 @ 06:52:00

      Because bucks are attracted to doe urine and blindly follow the scent. The person who sprayed the urine either did it as a sick joke or planned revenge on people.

      Ahh…I see. Maybe a sick person planned revenge on people as a joke.

      Reply

  2. wigsf
    Nov 20, 2010 @ 07:23:42

    Finding a song that doesn’t suck is incredibly difficult. Even through my own music collection, there is plenty of music that sucks. I completely understand your statement.
    It is not impossible, but yes, very difficult.

    According to my kids, I only have music that sucks.

    Reply

  3. Sherri
    Nov 20, 2010 @ 08:36:16

    If you COULD walk! Dang!

    Yeah, I’d get home just in time to start walking back to work. 🙂

    Reply

  4. thelifeofjamie
    Nov 20, 2010 @ 08:54:22

    That is an experience I have never had, and probably never will! The closest I have ever had was staring down a buck that was running loose on my college campus! I had to run across the street so I didn’t get gored!

    My motto is don’t mess with anything that has horns. Running was a wise choice.

    Reply

  5. Sparty Girl
    Nov 20, 2010 @ 15:08:46

    Oh, man! I’m so glad elk are smarter than deer or antelope!

    Me too! A few years ago a couple in a little sedan hit a HUGE 6 point bull elk right outside of town. Killed the elk and the car, but the couple were okay.

    Reply

  6. DarcKnyt
    Nov 20, 2010 @ 23:40:26

    Well I’m glad you missed everything. I hate scary when driving. Not. Fun.

    Driving should be uneventful, not terrifying.

    Reply

  7. DarcsFalcon
    Nov 21, 2010 @ 21:53:45

    Several years ago, I was late to work – traffic was backed up for a mile, because someone had swerved to miss a deer and ended up plowing into oncoming traffic, killing themselves, and the driver in the other car.

    Still, while that was human idiocy, deer are bigger than people think, and elk even bigger – they can do a lot of damage. Good thing you let Jesus take the wheel on that one!

    Swerving to miss a deer is a quick ticket to the morgue. I was taught to brake, let go of the wheel and hope for the best. In all my years of driving with animals on the road, I’ve only hit one antelope, but I’ve had a lot of really close calls.

    Reply

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