At Last

A lame excuse to get David Boreanaz on my blog.

Do you ever get something stuck in your head and you just can’t get rid of it?  I don’t mean a song or an annoying word or a criticism.  I’m talking about a task, something you should do, something you’ve put off for years and all of a sudden you have to do it RIGHT NOW.  This happened to me last night in the middle of an episode of ‘Bones’ and it resulted in total chaos for about an hour.

Ten years ago I bought two stackable silver bands at a jewelry story.  They are both very simple bands, one with diagonal lines as the design, the other with primitive adobe houses.  The ring with the houses was my favourite of the two, so naturally, I lost it one night while I was washing dishes.  I had it on the window sill and it fell down between the sink back splash and the wall.  Did I fish it out right then?  No, I did not.

I bought the rings while I was dating someone and we broke up right after I lost the houses ring.  The thought of putting forth an effort to retrieve a reminder of my broken heart was more than I was willing to do, so I left the ring where it was and I put the other ring in a bowl.  At least once a month I thought about the ring hiding behind the back splash.  For 10 years.

Last week I was cleaning out some boxes and I found the bowl with the other ring.  Surprisingly, it still fit.  To say I’ve put on some weight since I took the ring off is an understatement.  Once the ring was on my finger and the tarnish faded, I had to have the houses ring.

I am not a doer.  I am a planner and a procrastinator.  I have to think things through, work out my game plan, assemble the necessary tools and think about it some more.  I thought if I had one of those magnets on a stick I could shove it behind the back splash and pull the ring out.  Then Cora informed me magnets don’t work on silver.  It’s metal, isn’t it?  Why wouldn’t a magnet work?  Well, it turns out she was right.  Magnets don’t work on silver.  Not only that, I didn’t have a magnet let alone a magnet on a stick.

Oops! There he is again.

So last night, in the middle of ‘Bones’ I could hear this noise in my head and I realized it was the ring calling to me.  Seriously, that is the most sane explanation I can come up with.  I paused ‘Bones’, got a chair and a flashlight and looked down behind the back splash.  I could see a shiny ring at the bottom so I assembled a butter knife, a screwdriver and a butcher knife.  The only thing long and thin enough was the butcher knife and I tried to use that, but it just moved the ring back and forth across the bottom of the back splash.

I then did what any competent person would do.  I grabbed the back splash and yanked it off the wall.  There was My Precious!  My long lost Precious. 

But wait a minute.  This ring didn’t fit.  And it most definitely did NOT have houses on it.


Closer examination revealed a gap between the wall and the sink cabinet.  I keep the area under the sink pretty clean and certainly I would have found the ring if it was there.  I got the flashlight and shoved myself into the cabinet where I found another gap at the bottom next to the wall.

By this time I was working on sheer determination and aggravation.  I yanked the refrigerator away from the wall and…Holy Mother of God!  What is living behind my refrigerator? 

I had to get the vacuum and mop bucket because there was no way I was touching whatever was growing back there.  It was mostly dust and cobwebs, but spiders make cobwebs.  Enough said.  After cleaning behind the refrigerator, I got down on my hands and knees, contorted myself more than Houdini ever did and looked under the sink cabinet.  I was off the map.  In the weak beam of the flashlight I could see a shiny object about 6 inches under the cabinet.  Quick as a mongoose, I darted my hand under and snatched the ring out.


My Precious!  I finally found you!

So, if someone asks, “Are you happy NOW?!”  I can say, “Yes, yes I am.”


9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. wigsf
    Nov 27, 2010 @ 06:55:33

    I once spent seven years searching for a rare CD by a semi-independent band. One day in a used CD store, I found the CD misfiled under the album’s name as though it was the band’s name. I never knew the name of the album but something about seeing that album name on a header card made me take a peek at the CD. It was as though it had been calling to me.
    “Hey WIGSF, take a look at me. It’ll be worth it.”
    It was.

    I think the hippies call that ‘being in tune’. Whatever it is, it happens to me now and then and it’s always shocking.


  2. thelifeofjamie
    Nov 27, 2010 @ 08:29:37

    don’t you hate it when a simple project turns into that! Congrats on finding it, and cleaning behind the fridge, etc…:)

    I know. It was supposed to be a matter of sticking a magnet down a hole, but at least now there are no scaries living behind my refrigerator.


  3. Sparty Girl
    Nov 27, 2010 @ 10:39:06

    hahahaha!!!!!!!!! What a great story! I’m glad you got your ring back.

    BTW, that project sounds like every single simple home-improvement we’ve tried in the 15 years we’ve lived in this house. 🙂

    Home improvements are so great, aren’t they.


  4. DarcKnyt
    Nov 27, 2010 @ 19:54:20

    That sounds like fun!
    God, I’m a smart-ass, aren’t I?

    No more than I am. 🙂


  5. Fuck My Table
    Nov 27, 2010 @ 21:54:37

    Thanks for the eye candy. I was smiling thinking about him all day…

    If I’m busy or stressed at work, Cora will walk by me and say, “David Boreanaz.” It puts a smile on my face even though he’s a cheating scumbag.


  6. DarcKnyt
    Nov 27, 2010 @ 22:27:26

    ROFLMAO! I hate those “I have to do it right NOW!” moments.

    At least there’s no more creepies behind the fridge, and you have your ring back. That’s a good day, in my book. 🙂

    It was a good day. I just keep looking at my ring and smiling.


  7. DarcsFalcon
    Nov 27, 2010 @ 22:31:31

    Doggone it, are we back to this game again? *sigh* That was ME who said that just now, not Darc.

    I know. He posted something smart alec-y. 🙂


  8. TheIdiotSpeaketh
    Nov 28, 2010 @ 09:38:58

    Talk about getting an “A” for effort! Wow! 🙂

    Usually I get an “A” for asshole.


    • Fuck My Table
      Nov 29, 2010 @ 04:01:29

      Better than an A for adulterer.

      Sorry, I found my Scarlet Letter novel in an old box earlier and couldn’t resist.

      Hmmm…I didn’t think of that because I’m divorced.


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