Super Glue Can Kiss My Ass

Seriously, kiss my ass

Boy Cook Jarrod broke his fancy sunglasses with his face in them last week.  He broke one ear piece and the nose piece, for a total of three breaks.  Since I’m the master crafter, he brought me the pieces of his sunglasses and asked if I could glue them back together.  There is an art to using Super Glue.  I have not mastered that art.  Super Glue is worthless.  It only sticks to what you don’t want it to, and then you need a hammer and chisel to get the crap off.

BC Jarrod’s sunglasses are still in pieces, but now they have patches of my skin attached to them.  Twice I thought they were stable so I gently cut off the excess glue with my X-Acto knife and sanded them to a smooth finish.  Anytime I pull out the X-Acto knife I also get out the box of Band-Aids.  So far I haven’t needed them, but there were a couple of close calls.  Both times I thought the glasses were ready to return to BCJ, they collapsed like a house of cards when I snapped the lenses in place.  The dogs have learned some new and exciting ways to cuss.

This morning I went for Round Three.  I had two stable joins and was working on the third when I realized I couldn’t find the lid to the Super Glue, which, by the way, is covered in dog hair since Halo decided the nifty little bottle belonged in my bed.  Anyway, I searched the desk, the computer table, the floor, the kitchen counter, the kitchen table, and the desk again.   The dogs were outside at the time so I couldn’t blame one of them.  I gave up on ever finding the lid and got in the shower.  When I got out of the shower and put my contacts in, I noticed something black on my red shirt.  Yep.  The lid to the Super Glue was stuck to the back of my shirt.


Tonight I told BCJ that he should asked Santa for a new pair of sunglasses since these are FUBAR and I’m out of patience.  Maybe he should invest in some duct tape.  I hear it comes in colours now.


5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Cindy
    Dec 01, 2010 @ 23:47:56

    It’s weird how that stuff works really good on somethings and totally sucks on other stuff. So far I’ve not glued myself to anything, but have come close to gluing my fingers together. lol

    I haven’t found anything it works well on other than skin.


  2. Sherri
    Dec 02, 2010 @ 06:12:20

    Superglue softens some kinds of plastics so they won’t bond. Maybe that’s why you couldn’t get the pieces to stay together.

    I thought of that. These are some fancy plastic and yada, yada, yada. I’m guessing the Super Glue is actually melting the plastic because they don’t fit together at all anymore.


  3. TheIdiotSpeaketh
    Dec 02, 2010 @ 19:43:00

    I have a tube of super glue permanently attached to the index finger on my left hand….it has been there since 1978. I am still waiting for the glue to wear off…

    HAHAHA! I hate the stuff.


  4. DarcsFalcon
    Dec 02, 2010 @ 23:38:31

    Maybe rubber cement would have worked better. I think 3 breaks qualifies for a new pair of glasses though.

    I tried a rubber cement and it was too, well, rubbery. Halo finally succeeded in getting the glasses so now all the Super Glue in the world won’t fix them.

    Let this be a lesson to him – never break your fancy sunglasses with your face. LOL That just sounds wrong in so many ways.

    He showed me a video of how he rides his bike and now I know why he is always missing skin and breaking sunglasses. Crazy.


  5. Andi
    Jan 15, 2011 @ 03:55:10

    Super glue works really, really good if you apply water first. No joke.


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