Boy Cook Jarrod broke his fancy sunglasses with his face in them last week. He broke one ear piece and the nose piece, for a total of three breaks. Since I’m the master crafter, he brought me the pieces of his sunglasses and asked if I could glue them back together. There is an art to using Super Glue. I have not mastered that art. Super Glue is worthless. It only sticks to what you don’t want it to, and then you need a hammer and chisel to get the crap off.
BC Jarrod’s sunglasses are still in pieces, but now they have patches of my skin attached to them. Twice I thought they were stable so I gently cut off the excess glue with my X-Acto knife and sanded them to a smooth finish. Anytime I pull out the X-Acto knife I also get out the box of Band-Aids. So far I haven’t needed them, but there were a couple of close calls. Both times I thought the glasses were ready to return to BCJ, they collapsed like a house of cards when I snapped the lenses in place. The dogs have learned some new and exciting ways to cuss.
This morning I went for Round Three. I had two stable joins and was working on the third when I realized I couldn’t find the lid to the Super Glue, which, by the way, is covered in dog hair since Halo decided the nifty little bottle belonged in my bed. Anyway, I searched the desk, the computer table, the floor, the kitchen counter, the kitchen table, and the desk again. The dogs were outside at the time so I couldn’t blame one of them. I gave up on ever finding the lid and got in the shower. When I got out of the shower and put my contacts in, I noticed something black on my red shirt. Yep. The lid to the Super Glue was stuck to the back of my shirt.
Tonight I told BCJ that he should asked Santa for a new pair of sunglasses since these are FUBAR and I’m out of patience. Maybe he should invest in some duct tape. I hear it comes in colours now.