The Look

There is a look women over the age of 20 shouldn’t try to rock.  I’m talking about black lip liner.  It’s a fine look when you’re 18 and having a goth night out, but when you are 50ish and trying to look sophisticated, it looks more like you’ve been sucking on a turd.  Or that you’re a cheap hooker.

What’s worse is these women are always very haughty and talk down to me.  I can’t bear to look at them.  I want to tell them to go fix their fucking make up and pull the stick out of their ass.  I might be just a waitress, but I damn well know how to apply lipstick and I know to reapply before all that’s left is the lip liner.

When my son was young…okay, he was a teenager…he couldn’t eat anything without having food all around his mouth.  We would leave the car, I would look at him and his face would be clean, but somehow by the time we got into the store he would have a ring of food around his mouth.  I don’t know if he was eating stuff he found in the  parking lot or what.  My daughter and I started calling him “Crap Face” thinking if we embarrassed him enough, he’d clean his face. 

Every time one of these women with the bad lip liner finds her way into my section it takes everything in my power not to point and yell, “Crap face!  Crap face!”

I’ll bet that would really screw my tip.

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15 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Fuck My Table
    Dec 15, 2010 @ 01:23:37

    But wouldn’t it be worth it? 😉

    Oh, it would totally be worth it. I’d laugh like a crazy person the whole time. Hell, it might also be worth a written warning.

    Reply

  2. DarcsFalcon
    Dec 15, 2010 @ 01:34:22

    I thought lip liner went out with the 1900s, you mean they still use it? And black? WTH? Who, besides goths, uses black on their lips? *eyeroll*

    The woman in my section the other night had on black lip liner. A lot of southern women do too. It drives me batshit.

    And who thinks they have the right to be snooty in a BBQ place? Seriously!

    No lie.

    I think I’ve figured it out – all your stories – you’re not really in WY are you? That’s just your cover. You’re in Chicago somewhere, aren’t you. You’re really working at someplace like Charlie Trotter’s. Honestly, that would explain EVERYTHING.

    Sorry, I’m really in Wyoming. Remind me to never go to Chicago.

    Reply

    • Lauren
      Dec 15, 2010 @ 21:09:49

      Chicago’s not all bad. Charlie Trotter’s is a place where the servers are allowed to be rude nd insult the customers. I would LOVE to work there.

      Holy shit! That’s my kind of place!

      Reply

      • DarcsFalcon
        Dec 16, 2010 @ 00:25:36

        There’s a hot dog place downtown that does that. I don’t think Charlie Trotter’s is the kind of place that would let the servers be rude. Not at $50 a plate!

        Reply

        • Becky
          Dec 17, 2010 @ 03:41:38

          that’s actually a place called Ed Debevics…and yes the waiters can (try to anyways) insult the guests….

          Oh…I could insult if I was given free license. Haha! Thanks for stopping by & commenting.

          Reply

  3. wigsf
    Dec 15, 2010 @ 05:10:13

    The things you women will do to attract a man.

    I won’t do that.

    Reply

  4. Sherri
    Dec 15, 2010 @ 06:41:14

    “Sucking on a turd”… LMAO

    It’s true.

    Reply

  5. TheIdiotSpeaketh
    Dec 15, 2010 @ 07:23:57

    Thank you so much for the sucking on a turd visual right before I eat breakfast! 🙂 LMAO!!

    Glad I could help.

    Reply

  6. Brea
    Dec 15, 2010 @ 09:33:07

    I never understood the reasoning behind the dark/black lipliner? Is it supposed to make them look bigger? Smaller? More like the crack-addicts down the street?

    There are so many “trends” in makeup that I just shake my head at… glitter…

    I just want to look awake. And not dead. That’s it.

    I’m all about the glitter, but I’m like you, I just want to look like I’m still alive.

    Reply

  7. nycgirl
    Dec 15, 2010 @ 11:00:44

    Something tells me these women are too internally pained by life to leave a good tip anyway.

    Right you are. Uptight doesn’t begin to cover it.

    Reply

  8. Ahmnodt Heare
    Dec 15, 2010 @ 11:34:44

    I would say something like, “Pardon me, but it looks like you got eyeliner on your lips.”

    There are so many things I want to say, I just stop looking at them and stare at whoever they are with. I’m not very good at keeping things from escaping my mouth.

    Reply

  9. workingtechmom
    Dec 15, 2010 @ 21:58:56

    Good plan to stare at the person they are with. I would find it hard not to keep staring at those lips and I also fear some comment would have to come out of my mouth.

    I also thought lip liner was out, black or otherwise. Poor you!

    I thought it went out with Tammy Faye Baker, but I was wrong again. I have to make a point to look somewhere else otherwise it draws me in like a bad train wreck.

    Reply

  10. Katie
    Dec 15, 2010 @ 22:14:43

    Hahahahaha. Had a night from hell with my 3 small kids, and you just made me truly laugh out loud! Thanks! 🙂

    Glad to be of service!

    Reply

  11. thatgengirl
    Jan 19, 2011 @ 12:35:42

    I just *had* to comment when I read about your son’s mouth. I used to joke that you could scrub my son clean, put him in a hermetically-sealed room, and he would still come out with a ring of dirt around his mouth!

    Another one is sand in his shoes. Even in the dead of winter he’ll come inside, take off his boots and [i]shake sand out of them![/i]

    What is it with boys and their dirty mouths?

    Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment!

    Reply

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