Shoot Me Now

Tonight I had a table of six old coots who pissed me off the second they walked in the door.  I was on the verge of being in the weeds and I could hear the one old guy arguing with the cashier from the waitstation.  That’s never a good sign.  Even though I knew it was my turn, I begged the server gods to put them somewhere other than my section.

Nothing doing.

Angel put them at Table 13 and before I could get to them, they did a mass exodus to Table 1, a four top, but not in my section.  YAY!  They tried to cram all 6 of themselves into the booth, figured out they wouldn’t fit so they moved to Table 16, another frigging 4 top, but in my section.  ARG!  So…that’s two dirty tables.  After they manhandled all the silverware and glasses on Table 16, they decided to move to a picnic table,which seats four and was still in my section.  ARG!

What the fucking fuck?!  There are 4 more clean tables in the restaurant, wanna try those too?!

After I poured their water and gave them the stink eye, the old coot who had been arguing with Angel met me by the fake thermostat in the dining room.  He asked if I could turn the heat up and I told him I couldn’t because I didn’t have the key.  He jacked up the fake thermostat to about 9,000 degrees and gave me a smirk.  I smirked back and told him the real thermostat was in the kitchen, and I couldn’t fix it.

He made his way back to his 4th table, bitching loudly all the way about how he was never coming back because it was too cold.  Honestly, it was cold outside, but it was about 75 degrees in the restaurant.  I’m sorry you all are ancient and your blood doesn’t flow, but we can’t have 90 degree temperatures in the restaurant or everyone else will heat stroke out.

That should cover it.

In the end they left and sniped to everyone waiting in the lobby about how they should go somewhere else since it was so cold.  People who do that make me want to tackle them and stab them repeatedly.  Don’t run off our business and my money! 



8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Fuck My Table
    Dec 17, 2010 @ 00:25:28

    At least they left, but holy shit. I would have told them not to let the door hit them in the ass on the way out. I had a table bitch and threaten to go somewhere else before over us not having something (I don’t recall what), and I said, “Applebee’s is back down the road *that* way, I suggest you try there.” I didn’t go back to the table, ignored them while waiting on tables around them, and they finally left in a huff. Fuck them.

    If I could have caught up with them, I would have told them to fuck off, but they just kept moving. It was obviously their first time in the restaurant and hopefully their last. Assholes.


  2. wigsf
    Dec 17, 2010 @ 04:59:41

    “we need to keep it cold to preserve your moldy ass”

    HAHAHA! Where are you when I need you most?


  3. Ahmnodt Heare
    Dec 17, 2010 @ 11:44:41

    You need to find where these people work and give them a taste of their medicine at their job. Revenge can be sweet when done at the right time and place to the right people.

    They were so old and crunchy I’m sure they are retired.


  4. Sparty Girl
    Dec 17, 2010 @ 14:30:25

    They left? You mean after dirtying 4 tables and not ordering anything? That would be good if it meant you didn’t have to waste any more time on them, since that’s the type that certainly wouldn’t tip.

    Yep. They dirtied 4 tables, created a scene & split. When I saw them come in I knew they were the type to run my ass off for $1.98. I’m glad they left.


  5. PurpleGirl
    Dec 17, 2010 @ 16:04:08

    I love when people complain about stupid shit like that. A few weeks ago, we had three tables in a week leave and say they’d never come back — because they didn’t like the music.

    We have people bitch about the most innane shit…the music, the lights on the salad bar, the noise level in the restaurant, the lights over the tables, the heat, the cold. As if I can do anything about any of that stuff. Bitchers should stay home.


  6. workingtechmom
    Dec 17, 2010 @ 21:38:42

    That stinks. I am glad they left though.

    Me too. I could see myself stabbing one of them with a fork before the night was over.


  7. izziedarling
    Dec 18, 2010 @ 06:36:23

    You know, if you are in a damn bad mood, Stay Home! I am sorry you had to take all that shit from grumpy old farts who should eat baby food and shut the front door.

    Most of the time I’d rather wait on kids than old people. That says a lot.


  8. Bunny
    Dec 18, 2010 @ 12:22:24

    Wow…sounds like it may have been a blessing they left and you didnt have to serve them. I dont know how people function with that kind of attitude.

    I just wish they had left before they created such a ruckus. Jerks.


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