A coworker and I were discussing things that gross us out beyond belief. For her it is wet hair; hair in the shower or hair left on the sink. I have a list:
- Unflushed toilets. I will NOT use a toilet that has not been flushed. If I go into a stall and see anything other than clean water I will shriek and flee. And no, I will not flush the toilet. I’ve been known to send coworkers in the restroom to flush a toilet.
- Porta-Potties or outdoor toilets. No freaking way. I will pee my pants before I go in one. No. No. No.
- Anything which makes my hands sticky. If someone hands me a Pepsi out a drive thru window and I can see Pepsi on the side of the cup, I will flat freak out. They have to wipe it off or I will drive away.
- Not being able to wash my hands. If you want to see me pull a Rainman, take me somewhere without running water or hand wipies.
- Unsafe food handling. If someone invites me over for dinner and I see them doing something which may result in a good case of salmonella, I’ll politely say something and if it doesn’t change, I’ll either flee or faint. Don’t play with eggs, chicken or fish without anti-bacterial soap and/or bleach.
- Blood, snot, or any other bodily secretions of strangers. People who blow their nose in a napkin at a table and leave it for me to clean up have my never ending hate. That’s just gross. People who have a bloody nose and refuse to leave the table should be shot. I’ve followed people to the door and made them clean up their bloody napkins.
- Pubic hairs on/in the urinal. It’s called a manscape. Look into one.
Then there are the things which make me uneasy:
- People touching my stuff. Self checkout was invented for people like me. I can’t stand a checker to touch any of my purchases. I refuse to go to stores without self checkout and if one isn’t available, I stand with my teeth clenched, listening to the voices screaming in my head all during the process.
- People touching me. I don’t like it. Don’t do it.
- Sharing forks, spoons, or straws. Unless I’ve swapped spit with you or gave birth to you, get your own damned utensil.
- Things being out of place. Specifically, the caddies on the table. When some kid gleefully rips a caddy apart, I’m usually at the end of the table with a look of horror on my face while the voices scream in my head. If more parents knew this, they would take little Johnny or Suzie and get the hell out of the restaurant.
- Shaking hands. Sorry, I won’t do it. I’ll wave at you, but if you extend your hand I’m going to back up and run away.
So, dear readers, what about you? What are the things which gross you out to no end? What are the things which make you wish you were somewhere else?