Did I SAY Ice Cream?

No.  No, I did not.  I intentionally didn’t mention ice cream when listing the desserts.  You wanna know why?  Because I FREAKING  HATE scooping ice cream.  I would rather clean puke off the men’s room toilet than scoop ice cream.  That shit’s rock hard and by the time I get your measly one scoop out, I’m covered in sticky goo up to my elbows and sometimes to my arm pits.  Does that sound appetizing to you?  Well, it straight out pisses me off.  And when you smile after asking for something I didn’t list, I want to slap that smile right off your face.  I want to throw the bowl down on the table and tell you to enjoy your freezer burnt frozen milk while I shower in the dish pit.  So really,

And while I’m bitching, when you’re having a business meeting at the restaurant and you pay and tip out the server who is leaving, but stay for 2 more hours getting endless refills, it wouldn’t hurt you to throw down a few bucks for the server who endlessly refills your jackass drinks and has to clean up after you.  Cheap pricks.


12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. leaner
    Jan 11, 2011 @ 23:58:34

    WHY would anyone order a dessert in a restaurant that can be bought anywhere literally day or night? Ice cream, especially the blue bunney brand that most restaurants serve, is ubiquitous! WHY wouldn’t you order something that is hard to make or sort of rare–like pie or creme brulee? While you are here, why don’t you have the chocolate torte or the key lime cheesecake? You can get your stupid vanilla ice cream tomorrow at 7-11.
    God people are SO STUPID.

    Blue Bunny is a step up from what we serve. We have some kick ass pies, bread pudding and strawberry shortcake, all homemade. Order that!


  2. DarcsFalcon
    Jan 12, 2011 @ 00:39:32

    Try making an “S” when you’re scooping. It helps. 🙂 And make sure your scooper is wet enough. A dry scooper won’t roll well. (said one who used to do it full time)

    I’ll try the “S” & my scooper is always wet, but I’d much rather dump the bucket over someone’s head.

    That is so rude to not tip the 2nd server as well! What, do they think the 1st server is going to share her tip with the 2nd one? Sheesh.

    Well, she’s not going to share it when she’s gone.


  3. wigsf
    Jan 12, 2011 @ 05:30:32

    Warm the ice cream scoop before scooping the ice cream.

    I do. It still pisses me off.


  4. Ahmnodt Heare
    Jan 12, 2011 @ 06:13:58

    I often wondered why restaurants had their ice cream freezers so cold. I like my ice cream soft.

    At least scoopably soft. Ours is rock hard. It isn’t pleasing to anyone.

    As a general rule, people tend to order the thing that is the biggest pain in the butt to prepare.

    No lie. I figured that out when I was a cook.


  5. Anton
    Jan 12, 2011 @ 07:35:04

    I only order ice cream if the restaurant makes its own, or in the case of my favorite theater, makes the kick ass $5 milkshake. Otherwise I would go to the Amy’s and get exciting flavors like coffee full of doughnuts or whiskey chocolate covered in praline or rose mango pistachio. Damn. Now I want ice cream.

    OH! HOLY SHIT! I want some ice cream NOW! We have vanilla with cheap shit chocolate syrup. Who the hell orders that?!


  6. skippymom
    Jan 12, 2011 @ 08:16:40

    The only thing I hate worse than scooping ice cream is the added pleasure of making that ice cream into a hot fudge sundae. Sundaes suck and fudge is so darn sticky. I feel your pain.

    When I worked for Cuntry Kitchen we had a hot fudge brownie sundae that I wanted to killl people for. Cake + hard scoop ice cream + hard ass hot fudge = come at you with a knife. The dessert was to die for…literally.


  7. workingtechmom
    Jan 12, 2011 @ 16:54:07

    Omg…my first job was waitressing at Woolworth’s little restaurant “Harvest House”. EVERYONE ordered banana splits and hot fudge sundaes and I also had ice cream up my arm. I bet I made 50 a day.

    I used to cry whenever someone ordered these desserts so my heart is right there with you.

    Oh…Woolworth’s…I have so many fond memories with my grandpa. I was probably one of those sundae orderers. I forgive all children for ordering ice cream, because they don’t know how good other desserts can be, but adults can straight out kiss my ass.


    • skippymom
      Jan 15, 2011 @ 10:01:00

      Oh my god – WTM just gave me a horrid flashback.

      I totally forgot about banana splits. What part of “You get three different scoops of ice cream, three different sauces and ONE cherry” prompts you to demand 4 kinds of ice cream, all six sauces and ask for 5 cherries.

      I had so, so many daydreams about what I wanted to do with those bananas – both to the customer and the owner of the restaurant. TAKE IT OFF THE MENU.

      ::fetal position::

      I would lose my mind if we had to make shakes, banana splits or any of that nonsense.


  8. Amber
    Jan 12, 2011 @ 16:59:30

    I thought it was just our restaurant, just our ice cream that was rock hard. We always have to get the guys to scoop the ice cream – our puny little girl arms aren’t up to the task. That, plus we like being damsels in distress. Did I mention that *all* of our desserts are served with ice cream?

    I would kill someone if all desserts were served with ice cream.


  9. Onyx
    Jan 13, 2011 @ 16:33:42

    Honestly, I don’t see the point of ordering ice cream at a restaurant when I can buy a 2L bucket of the stuff at the grocery store.

    Now, on a totally unrelated note. I have a question.

    The fiance and I tried a new restaurant tonight, after being told it was a great spot to eat, and the prices were a bonus. The places we WANTED to go to were jam packed, so we thought “what the hell” and went to this other place we’d been hearing about. The service was fine, not great, but fine. The food was cooked fine, but the problem is, the food, itself, just wasn’t very good. Nothing was good (sorry, the fiance’s Pepsi was good).

    So my question is… what should one do? We didn’t do anything, because we truly didn’t know what to do about it. It’s not the fault of the server, because she was fine. It’s not the kitchen’s fault, because they cooked everything fine. The product the restaurant opts to purchase is just… bad. Super low quality product. Their menu was cheap, I’ll give them that, but frankly, McDonald’s would have been a far better choice in hindsight. Is it simply a “you get what you pay for” thing? Because I’ve been to inexpensive restaurants before and been totally thrilled with the food, but this was just… bad.

    Sorry to pester, but I thought I’d ask. We didn’t have a clue what would be the best thing to do, or not do. So we left it at nothing.

    I hate when I go somewhere that has been recommended and it’s just blah. I probably wouldn’t have done anything either. None of the workers can do anything about the food quality, so complaining wouldn’t have any result. I guess I wouldn’t go back and I wouldn’t recommend it. If McDonald’s is better I can’t imagine how bad it must have been.


  10. Onyx
    Jan 13, 2011 @ 16:35:07

    Sorry, lol I think I made it sound like we didn’t do anything, we still tipped, just didn’t say anything about it, I guess is a better choice of words.

    I figured you still tipped. 🙂


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