THOSE People

I was counting the minutes until we closed last night.  My last table left about 45 minutes before close and I was almost finished with my side work by 10 til 8.  As soon as I said, “Less than a minute to go, Cora,” I heard the front door squeak and one of THOSE people walked in to ask if they were too late to eat.

If you have to ask, when the hours are plainly posted on the door, and you know damned well what time we close, then yes, you are too fucking late.  For a split second I thought Darren was going to make Cora seat them, but I think he saw the imminent freak out in my eyes and decided not to.

I would have freaked the fuck out, too.  For one thing, I hadn’t had a table in almost an hour, my section was cleaned and I was ready to go home.  For another, I have a long history of hating THOSE people.  They are:  a creepy, blowhard dad, a meek mother, a geeky teenaged boy and a future creepy pre-adolescent son.  The dad always orders the chicken, white meat only, and then bitches because it’s dry.  White meat IS dry.  Obviously, our white meat is too dry, so order something else & quit bitching!

In addition to the bitching, THOSE fuckers don’t know when to leave.  They have no qualms about coming in just as we are closing, so needless to say, they don’t have any about staying an hour to an hour and a half after close.  They eat slow, talk endlessly and just as you think they are getting up to leave, they decide to order dessert…and they tip a little less than 10%.      

I hate THOSE people.


12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. thelifeofjamie
    Mar 14, 2011 @ 18:29:21

    I always hated that! Waltz in at 5 til “oh are you guys closed?” (jackasses knowing full well we were) and the obligatory eye roll and “yes” it’s been 10 years and it still pisses me off!

    I hate when they read the sign on the door, look at their watch, read the sign again, then come in and ask if we’re still open. WTF?!


  2. TheIdiotSpeaketh
    Mar 14, 2011 @ 19:33:31

    I can see why you hate those people. No matter what kind of establishment I am in, I make it a point to be out of the door come closing time…because any person with a brain knows that the employees are ready to get home! Unless you are keeping a jeweler past closing with the prospect of buying an expensive piece of jewelry….then get the HELL out! 🙂

    If I want to eat late, I get fast food or go to an all night diner. The last thing I want to do is piss off the restaurant staff.


  3. DarcsFalcon
    Mar 14, 2011 @ 19:48:39

    I think they do it so they can feel like some kind of royalty – the only people in the restaurant, like the whole place belongs to them. Or something.

    Glad he turned them away.

    You are dead on with THOSE people. The creepy dad thinks he’s the shit.


  4. Ahmnodt Heare
    Mar 14, 2011 @ 20:47:47

    I wonder if you can find a couple of friends who can wait by the front door just before closing time. They can walk out when they see people trying to come in and approach them saying that the restaurant is closed.

    I doubt it would work. Most people are functionally retarded and have to touch the fire to make sure it’s hot.


  5. wigsf3
    Mar 15, 2011 @ 04:15:37

    Oh, I thought this was going to be a post about people who claim they’ve been abducted and probed by aliens. I hate THOSE people.

    For some reason I’ve never met any of THOSE people. I’m sure I’d hate them, too.


  6. wigsf
    Mar 15, 2011 @ 05:40:09

    When I read the title to this post, I was expecting a post about organ grinders who don’t clean up after their monkeys. I hate THOSE people.

    People with monkeys don’t get in the restaurant. I don’t like monkeys.


  7. skippymom
    Mar 15, 2011 @ 06:41:11

    Yeah – what wigsf said. How disappointing. [Very funny wigsf btw]

    Seriously – I wish they could put a sign on the door that says “Hours: 11 AM – 9 PM Last order taken at 8:30 PM” or some such so customers would understand that at 8:50 PM the kitchen is darn near to being cleaned and put up for the night and the servers and staff just want to go home.

    We seat and serve until 8pm. However!! When the restaurant is empty, has been empty for more than 30 minutes, and everything is cleaned and put away, it is financially stupid to let people come in at 8. I think it should be to go orders only after 8:50 on those nights. I believe in keeping set business hours, but it’s a little ridiculous to keep the entire staff an extra hour for less than a hundred dollar ticket.


  8. Anton
    Mar 15, 2011 @ 09:17:02

    Thank goodness you didn’t have to stay. I shudder at your description. Ugh, creepers.

    I would have made the other server wait on them and I would have finished her side work. There was no way I could have kept myself from stabbing them.


  9. C.J
    Mar 15, 2011 @ 09:43:47

    I was eating out for the first time in ages, since I can’t always afford to, and I was horrified at how THOSE people treat servers. It’s the same in England as it is in the US I’m afraid.

    I loved it when this bitchy couple said “Oh, but [name of other restaurant] is open for another half hour” GO THERE THEN.

    When servers inform people they are no longer taking orders, so the staff can get home on time, I am confused as to why the default reaction is little to no understanding.

    I never understand the comparisons. If another restaurant is so wonderful, GO THERE! and stop annoying me.

    I’ve seen people wander in 30 to 40 minutes after we close and when we tell them we’re closed they get all pissed off and yell, “I guess they don’t want our money!” as they slam the door. Uh…we love your money, we just don’t want to be here all freaking night. Assholes.


  10. Pancake Grrrl
    Mar 15, 2011 @ 10:04:57

    I try to make sure I’m seated no less than one hour before closing because I know the kitchen is trying to get their stuff done and if I’m paying to eat out, I want the best meal I can get for the money.

    The last time we ate out late, the boyfriend and I dashed into our favorite local Mexican restaurant 30 minutes before close and ordered immediately.

    Know why this isn’t a problem? Because we typically leave 40% tips at this establishment. Not only are they happy to see us even this late, they know our names, make our margaritas STRONG, and bring us kick-ass food.

    That’s the way it is with me. If I regularly frequent a place, be it a bar or a restaurant, I get kick-ass service. I can go to the Dollar on the busiest night of the week and never wait in line for a beer because I tip $1.50 on every beer, until I get drunk and then I tip $2-3 per beer. I can go to Granny’s on a busy Friday night and not wait for a table or for my drinks and food because I tip $7 on a $13 ticket. More people need to learn this secret…if you want top notch service, be willing to pay for it.


  11. Hira Animfefte
    Mar 15, 2011 @ 14:58:12

    Would it be better if they were nice to you and left a ridiculous tip? (Like 50%?) Or would they still be horrible by dint of coming so late?

    If they were really good tippers, I’d be happy to serve them right at close. Really good tippers aren’t inconsiderate assholes who come in at close, though.

    I agree with you, I think all restaurants should post when their kitchen stops cooking. Those are the TRUE hours of operation, after all. Why do they even bother listing after that?

    If I ever make it out your way, I’m going to seek out your table, order something way expensive, and then tip you 100%. (Cause if I have enough theoretical money to make it out there, I think I could do that too.)

    And I will hug you even though I’m against hugging.


  12. Becky
    Mar 15, 2011 @ 20:02:44

    Well I’ve got you beat lady(and believe me it brings me no joy to say that)… my restaurant we don’t lock the doors until ten minutes after the stated closing time(no idea why, so insane) so people will continue to stroll in knowing we are closed. But my fave assholes are the ones who try to sneak in past close once the doors ARE locked by waiting till a guest leaves then sliding in the door before it closes again…..WTF? Why would you think that’s ok? I hate “those people” the most!

    WTF?! That’s ridiculous. During the summer we have a policy to serve people until the last ticket is out of the window so it can be an extra 15 to 20 minutes after close, but the restaurant is full and it’s just more money in everyone’s pocket. It is not worth my time to stay an extra hour to hour and a half for $3-5.


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