We had a mandatory training session this morning. At 8:30. Kiss my ass. It annoyed me that it was scheduled so early in the morning, when I had to work in the afternoon. I had a choice of 2-64 mile round trips with gas at $3.55 a gallon in a van which gets 25mpg…here, I’ll do the math…that’s approximately $9 per round trip (“but you’re getting paid $7.25/hr for the hour long session”) or spend the night with a friend. Since someone was just too sick to work on Sunday night, and I had to work for her, I decided to spend the night with Cora.
The first time I attended one of these training sessions, I was excited. I was going to learn new things! I was going to learn how to make more money! I was going to learn how to improve my service! The seminar consisted of an hour’s worth of slides and videos on upselling. It seems that if you sell top shelf vodka rather than well vodka you will make more money, if people tip on percentage, since the ticket price is higher. Guess what? We don’t sell vodka. We don’t sell mixed drinks. Beer and wine only.
But really?! Gasp! The higher the ticket price, the higher the tip?! Seriously?! Get outta here! (Disclaimer: Only if people tip on a percentage and aren’t cheap fuckers.)
After all the years I’ve been in food service, I had to have a food rep come in and tell me that the way to make more money was to get people to buy more food & drinks. Well, if I provided excellent service, of course. Yes, but what IS excellent service? According to him, it’s getting people to buy appetizers, top shelf drinks, and desserts. They came in for the entree, but selling them the extras is the way to make more money.
Did I mention he is a food rep? Hmmm…I wonder why he would want us to sell more food? Could it be…THAT HE MAKES MORE MONEY TOO???
That was 2 years ago.
Pardon me if I couldn’t keep track of my verb tenses, since what I listened to this morning was the e.x.a.c.t. same thing I listened to 2 years ago. Except, I listened to it at 8:30 AM.
Let me boil it down for you:
Higher ticket total x tip percentage = more money – no shit = a waste of my time. Well, I got a free donut, so I guess it wasn’t a total waste of time.
Assorted Crap #1
Best Dog Otis stayed at Cora’s house, too. Cora gave him cheese. Cora gave him crackers. Cora gave him candy. Cora gave him hugs. He tried to motorboat Cora. When it got to be bed time, I went in the bathroom to brush my teeth and Otis went to bed with Cora. WTF?! Traitor dog.
Assorted Crap #2
One of the Fallen is coming back to work. I don’t know how many times a person can be fired and get re-hired, but I think this guy holds the record. Simply amazing.