I was up all night last night wondering if I am making the right choice…leaving something known for something unknown. I’m not a person who makes rash decisions. I have to look at it, think about it, circle around it, and think about it some more before I finally decide. Leaving the Harribalsac is a tough decision.
The money worries me most of all. I make a pant load of money in the summer. It’s pretty embarrassing. The new restaurant is very small with a smaller staff. Will it be possible to make the same amount of money? My friend Sunni says she makes really good money, and whenever we’ve met up for a beer after work, she’s made more than I have in the same amount of time. During the winter. That’s encouraging because I don’t make dick during the winter, which is pretty embarrassing in its own right.
Then there’s learning a new menu. I’ve never worked in an Italian restaurant so it’s completely foreign (haha) to me. I don’t have any past experience to fall back on as far as the different sauces go. Sure, I like pasta, but can I sell pasta? What about the computer system at the new restaurant? Maybe I’m too dumb to learn it.
What if I suck at my new job? I’ll let Sunni down. She’ll make fun of me. I’ll cry.
When I talked to the owner at the new restaurant last night, I told him I was still sitting on the fence and he said to take some time, think about it and drop off the application when I made my decision. I thought about it until the sun came up this morning, and I shed a lot of tears.
One thing I was certain of was that I did not have it in me to work my shift tonight. I felt both hostile and tearful and my nerves felt like they were on the outside of my skin. So I texted Chetto that I wouldn’t be in tonight and could he let Cora pick up my check.
He texted back asking who was going to cover my shift. I replied that I didn’t know. He said I had to cover my shift. I texted back, “I asked Amber and she can’t. I don’t have anyone else’s number and I honestly don’t care.” I didn’t hear from him so I figured if it was an issue he would have sent me some phone numbers. Later Amber texted that she was covering my shift, so I didn’t think any more of it.
I decided I wanted to drop the application off and talk to the owner of the new restaurant again. I had dinner with Cora, went to Walmart and then dropped off the application. I told the owner I decided I wanted to take the job for sure, and there were smiles all around.
About 10 minutes after that I started getting texts saying, “I heard you quit” or “I heard you got fired” or “Chetto says you got a new job and you’re not working at the Harribalsac anymore”. WTF?! So I texted Darren and asked what was up. Apparently, I quit when I didn’t cover my shift.
I find it freaking hysterical because different people are held to different standards. People routinely call in and don’t cover their shifts and no one gives a crap, but when I do it, I forfeit my job. Whatever. That’s part of the reason why I did it; to see how much trouble I would get in. Darren said I could come in tomorrow and talk to him about getting my job back, and the ONLY reason I’m doing it is that I don’t want to leave him shorthanded this weekend.
This, more than anything else, tells me I made the right decision. It’s more bullshit drama, conjecture, jumping to conclusions, gossiping, and backstabbing. I’m so freaking glad everyone knew what decision I made BEFORE I knew it myself. I’m also glad I got zero support from one of my managers. It was easier to say I quit than to text me a few phone numbers. It was easier to write me off rather than say, “Well, since she NEVER calls in on a shift she must be having a bad day.” Finding out I really don’t have any friends at the Harribalsac makes leaving much easier.
I’ll go in tomorrow and make nice and give my notice, but let me tell you, I’ll be counting the days, hours and minutes until I’m gone.