I had my first bitch customer today.  That didn’t take long.

She walked in, looked at me, seated herself, and yelled her order to the Chef Owner, who happened to be in the dining room.  I stopped by her table to see if she wanted something to drink and she said, “I already gave my order to Crissy because I knew you wouldn’t get it right.”

Fuck. You.


On one hand, she had so many modifications to her order I would have probably looked at her as if she had an extra head right before thinking maybe she should shut the fuck up and order off the menu, but she could have been just a tad bit nicer.  The man she was with tried to bark out his order while I was standing there with a handful of plates, but I cut him off and told him I was just getting drink orders.  When I returned to the table with their drinks, she informed me they were ready to order, as if I couldn’t figure that shit out on my own.  I wanted to kick her in the twat.

There is a group of women who work at the Buffalo Bill Historical Center who list ‘Better than everyone else’ on their resume under ‘Qualifications’.  This was one of those women.  She seemed to know every third person who walked in and had to stand in the middle of the walkway and tell each and every one of them just how important and stressful her job is (because apparently they are saving humanity at the Historical Center) and how she wished she worked at Walmart since no one expects anyone to succeed there.  I hoped she would have said she wished she was waiting tables, because I was full on ready to tackle her ass and get fired for it, but she was a little smarter than I thought.  

Anyway, I went to the waitstation and Sam, my trainer, was laughing.  She told me to not worry about it because the bitch treats all the staff like they are sub-human.

Guess what.

 I got the last laugh, though.  I attended to every table except the bitch’s, so Sam was forced to deal with her.  She finally caught on when I printed the bitch’s ticket and handed it to her.

“Hey, that’s not fair.”

“Well baby, that’s how I roll.  The sooner you learn it, the better off we’ll be.”

I seldom have problem customers twice.


8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. skippymom
    May 24, 2011 @ 19:56:05

    The Walmart crack would’ve given me my first justifiable reason to SPIT in someone’s food.

    I didn’t want to waste spit on her since my throat has been really dry lately, but I was down for a good ol’ bare knuckles boxing match with her.

    I have never done it [never seen it done] and thought I never would but if I heard that I would’ve hocked a loogie on the b*tch’s modified alfredo.

    Sorry. That just peezed me off.

    I forgot she also gave me a lecture on how they are locals and essentially they should come before everyone else, as if I didn’t know *that* as well. It seems no matter where I go, the locals are assholes.


  2. Rachel
    May 24, 2011 @ 21:43:18

    I can’t stand narcicists. And what does she do at her supremely important and stressful job, anyway–give tours? Perhaps you should drop by the BHHC some time and give her hell.

    It’s the administrative women who have this notion of self importance. It’s not like they are curing cancer, but from their attitudes one would think they are.


  3. wigsf
    May 25, 2011 @ 10:29:48

    If you could explain (or if you already have tell me where I can read said explanation) as to why some people who work at the BBHC believe would actually print and proclaim that they are ‘Better than everyone else.’ I’m actually curious and with proper motivation, will call them on that claim.

    I’ve never mentioned it before because I didn’t see many of them at the Harribalsac. I have no idea why they think they are better than everyone else, but I wish someone would set them straight.


  4. TheIdiotSpeaketh
    May 25, 2011 @ 16:34:44

    Good lord….you can’t get away from those crazy people! You shoulda kicked her…. 🙂

    I thought about it.


  5. Anton
    May 25, 2011 @ 20:07:58

    That makes me want to send my archivist friend over to kick that lady’s ass. (My friend works on a major Civil Rights Movement archive and I think that trumps a historical center, haha.)

    The BBHC is a pretty big deal for western history, but it’s not THAT big of a deal.


  6. izziedarling
    May 26, 2011 @ 11:30:23

    “Better than everyone else” comment – the best! She must have no sex life.

    She looked so tight, I doubt she has a hole.


  7. DarcsFalcon
    May 26, 2011 @ 15:17:22

    Ahhh, and the escapades begin! LOL 😀

    There were ladies like that who worked in the local historical (hysterical?) society in a town I used to live in, too. I wish I knew what made them tick like that.

    On 2nd thought, no I don’t.

    Maybe it’s a historical thing? I have a degree in History and I applied at the BBHC, but I knew 3 minutes into my interview that I would not fit in. I like to dance and be silly and I never take myself seriously. That shit wouldn’t fly there.


  8. Hira Animfefte
    May 26, 2011 @ 22:02:04

    I guess Ms. “Better Than Everyone Else” was too good for the Harribalsac? But the Spaghetti Western is adequate?

    Apparently the staff at the Harribalsac was sub-sub-human and not worth her time. I’m glad I’ve moved up. *eyeroll*

    Does Sam hate you now? I hope not.

    Sam is afraid I’m going to be just like Sunni, who everyone is afraid of. Sunni loudly takes over a place, I do it quietly and I’m not the least bit afraid of Sunni. Sam has already given me a hundred warnings about Sunni and my response to every one has been, “Sunni will get over it.” Wednesday night Sunni & I went out for a beer and laughed our asses off at how she has everyone buffaloed. Wait ’til Sunni pisses me off and I yell at her to fuck off. People will shit their pants.

    There are stupid bitches wheterever you go…at least you’re getting better compensated for these.

    Oh yeah. I had a big group of bitches the other night and I just smiled cuz I knew they were tipping 18% whether they wanted to or not.


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