I was not at my best today. I dropped a Diet Coke on a table and got the guests all wet, and ordered an eggplant parm sub when it should have been eggplant parm no pasta. I was frustrated and wacked out for the rest of lunch, which was blessedly slow, and didn’t get my feet back under me until after the mini-rush was over. I expected an ass-chewing since Pro Rodeo had to pull the glass top off the table, dry it out, and replace the table cloth, but he never said anything. He couldn’t have been harder on me than I was on myself. I guess that’s what happens when I have two days off in a row.
My house looks as if Michael Vick stopped over for a visit. The dogs got into it again last night. My son’s friend, Kyle, came to visit and I thought the bitches were going to fight when he walked in the house. My son’s dog doesn’t like guys (any guy, which means even my son’s dog thinks he’s a girl) and he kept bull charging Kyle, so they went outside. I was picking out a Mexican ceramic bathroom sink on ebay and not paying attention when the bitches started to rumble. It quickly turned into free for all with everyone beating up on Maggie. Everyone except Otis. He scooted out the door and was halfway to the highway before Kyle stopped him.
At one point my son got Sienna in a choke hold using his arm and Maggie lunged for her throat, biting my son’s arm as deep as her teeth would go. Someone bit my boob. Then someone else bit my son’s hand. We could not get them to stop. The fight ended when we finally threw Halo outside, and Maggie and Sienna mutually decided they’d had enough. I should have thrown Halo out and continued picking out a sink for all the good I did.
There was blood on the walls and furniture; the carpet looks as if I slaughtered someone. My shirt was covered in blood and when I rinsed each dog individually in the bath, I knew someone needed stitches and vet attention. However, no one really has any injuries. Maggie has a bite on her leg, Sienna has some bites on her head, Halo has a scratch on her chin, and everyone is sore today, but no one, other than my son, is hurt. Where the hell did all the blood come from? I wonder if they bang their teeth together, causing a mouth bleed, then rub the blood all over each other.
I’m thinking of investing in a taser or a tranquilizer gun. If neither works on the dogs, I can always use them on myself. Holy crap.