Miss Duck

Miss Duck is trying to hatch an egg.  Pekin ducks don’t usually sit their eggs, but for once in 6 years of laying eggs all over the yard, she’s decided to sit on this one lonely little egg for twenty three and a half hours per day.  It takes about a month to hatch an egg and she seems to have the dedication and the protective instinct.  She hisses at me whenever I go into the shed to check on her.  I’ve never been hissed at by a duck.  I don’t think I like it.

What brought on this change?  It might be that she’s tired of getting the shit humped out of her by Mr. Duck.

These aren’t my ducks, but you get the idea that the fun is only for one.

She is flat out sick of Mr. Duck’s wiener.  He has pulled out all the feathers on the back of her head, neck and back.  She looks like the victim of a poultry gang bang.  Yesterday when she came out of the shed for a drink, he tried to jump on her back and she went off on such a quacking tirade I thought there must be a coyote in the yard.  No, only a feathered pervert.

He is relentless in his humping and probably could use 5 or 6 more hens to harass.  It’s bad enough to see two ducks fucking every time I look out the window, I certainly don’t want to see an entire flock having an orgy.  He wasn’t like this last summer, but he was only a yearling then.  He’s a pimply teenager now.

As far as the egg goes, she’s been sitting on it for about 10 days and it isn’t rotten.  It’s heavier than a normal egg, so there is probably a baby duck inside.  If I could find my flashlight and remember to buy batteries, I could see for sure, but I guess it doesn’t really matter.  If she’s tired of getting humped and needs the egg as an excuse, I’ll leave her be.

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9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. KathyBH
    Jun 09, 2011 @ 20:15:50

    I had a chicken that tried desperately to be a mother, despite the fact I had no rooster. I found her cache one day, 13 eggs in my raspberry plants she had been sitting on. I had to throw them all away. Boy. did she tell me off. Then she adopted a plastic egg, and attacked anyone who tried to take it from her, and nearly starved trying to hatch it. Chickens are pretty dumb.

    A plastic egg?? HAHAHAHA! That’s excellent. Chickens are pretty dumb, but then so are ducks.

    Reply

  2. skippymom
    Jun 09, 2011 @ 20:40:14

    I read this out loud to my husband and we laughed so hard. Poor Mrs. Duck. Gawd this was funny. Thank you.

    Miss Duck doesn’t think it’s funny. 😦

    Reply

  3. Mars
    Jun 09, 2011 @ 21:57:49

    Hey, even us ladies get our time away from having all the feathers yanked out of our head…

    That’s kind of what I was thinking. I don’t know how many times I’ve used the period excuse when it wasn’t that time of the month.

    Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.

    Reply

  4. DarcsFalcon
    Jun 09, 2011 @ 22:04:57

    Maybe she’s finally outsmarted Mr Duck! LOL

    I’ve decided she hates him.

    Reply

  5. tipsfortips
    Jun 10, 2011 @ 07:18:22

    Mr Duck sounds like a few restaurant managers I have worked with over the years.

    No lie. The constant humping and harassment…

    Reply

  6. Sparty Girl
    Jun 10, 2011 @ 08:26:39

    Awww… poor Miss Duck. If this doesn’t work, maybe Mr. Duck needs to become Thanksgiving Dinner…

    He’s not very friendly so he might be on the menu…

    Reply

  7. MICHELE
    Jun 10, 2011 @ 14:50:14

    holly, i hope to cook with some duck eggs when i get to meeteetse!

    Miss Duck isn’t laying or moving right now. I’m going to look into getting a couple more hens so Mr. Duck will leave the old gal alone.

    Reply

  8. thatgengirl
    Jun 16, 2011 @ 23:16:55

    You might want to edit MIchele’s comment to read “Haribalsac.”

    Meeteetse is the town where I live, the Harribalsac was the shitty restaurant I worked at. I was trying to hide my identity in case the restaurant owners found the blog, but since I don’t work there anymore, I don’t care. Thanks for looking out for me, though! I don’t always pay attention.

    Reply

  9. Ashley
    Sep 28, 2011 @ 02:18:47

    O.O That looks like my duck….well one of them….can’t tell if they are male of female, though I think they are male cause they keep trying to get with my hens. If you think seeing two ducks are bad…..try 5 roosters and 21 hens and 5 baby chicks…..and the big rooster is meaner than a hen guarding her eggs. Did that egg ever hatch?

    Reply

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