Act Like You’ve Been There Before

When I end up in a restaurant that is above my class level, I let the server know I’m over my head and ask for help.  I don’t treat the server like he/she is a dumbass and sneer my way through the meal.

I approached a table of 4 last night and one of the women asked, “Is your house red dry?”  She had the drink menu in her hand.

I asked which wine she was referring to.

“The RED.”

“We have several red wines, some are sweet and some are dry.  Which one are you asking about?”

She rolled her eyes at me and snapped, “The HOUSE wine.”  Yeah, I’m the dumbshit.

“Our HOUSE RED wines, which are on the menu, are cabernet, chianti, merlot, lambrusco, and pinot noir.  Are you interested in a sweet or dry wine?”

The other woman said, “Since we’re in an Italian restaurant we should have chianti.  That’s an Italian wine.”

Our wine glasses are tall and filled with 6 measured ounces of wine, which means they are not full to the brim.  When I brought them out, both ladies complained that their glasses were not full.  I had to explain the concept of getting what you paid for. 

Okay.  Time to order.  One of the guys barked, “We’ll have the chicken gorgonzola and a pizza,” and shoved the menus at me.

What fucking KIND of pizza?  What size?  What sauce.  What type of pasta with the chicken?  What type of dressing on the salad?  WTF?

Every night I get one table who would be better suited to eating at the Harribalsac.  I want to give them directions.


8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Ahmnodt Heare
    Jun 14, 2011 @ 13:09:38

    Maybe you should check to make sure they were wearing shoes.

    We are all about causal dress, but I’ve seen some people who were dressed too casually for McDonalds. 😦


  2. DarcKnyt
    Jun 14, 2011 @ 13:56:23

    I’m usually over my head with McDonald’s, never mind a place with a menu dedicated to wine.

    No lie. More than 3 soft drink choices and I’m boggled. I’ve had to learn these wines, where there from, and on and on and on. Then there are the house whites, the selects and the premiums. I thought learning the food was difficult.

    I went to a restaurant once where they had this little, itty-bitty knife along with about six forks and three or four spoons. I had a crystal goblet, a tumbler, a highboy and a wine glass all around my plates…all three of them, stacked neatly in front of me. I can’t remember where that was, but I was lost.

    My worst was at Wolfgang Puck’s where I thought the wasabi was guacamole. When I tasted the ginger, I figured I ate the hand wipe.

    I guess I’m not a blue-blood. Think it shows? 😦

    Me neither.


  3. skippymom
    Jun 14, 2011 @ 14:53:42

    People like her hate being “corrected” even though you had to do it to clarify her order – as in you had more than one house red. jeesh. She needs to get over herself – it IS house wine for godsakes. If she “knows” so much about wine why is she cheapening out with the cheapest glass – although I am sure your wines are delicious.

    No lie. Box wine is box wine. It all tastes like shit. I’m sure she gets educated often and can’t figure out why servers talk to her like she’s a dumbass.


  4. Rachel
    Jun 14, 2011 @ 21:07:48

    The best part must be that the dumb bitch probably doesn’t know what ‘dry’ wine is, to start with. And if she wanted to sound sophisticated…bullshitting isn’t a difficult art (especially when there’s a drink menu in front of you). Mostly, you just have to shut your big mouth before you air out your ignorance for your lowly waitress to see.

    I’m the first to admit I can’t pronounce half the wines on the menu and until a few weeks ago I knew about chardonnay, merlot, cabernet and white zinfandel. From a box. People like her need to admit when they are out of their comfort zone and roll with it.


  5. DarcsFalcon
    Jun 14, 2011 @ 23:14:05

    She only made her ignorance worse by trying to deny and hide it. How much better it would have gone had she simply said, ‘I’m so unfamiliar with your house wines, could you recommend something that goes well with my entree?” Like Chianti is the only Italian wine. 🙄 LOL

    A good rule of thumb is red for red, white for white. She ordered Chianti and chicken. Her entree would have gone better with a nice Riesling.

    If anyone just asks for “a pizza!” around here, they get a deep dish with tons of sauce, a little cheese, and lots of sausage. Yucky.

    I should have brought them an anchovy pizza. 🙂


  6. wigsf
    Jun 15, 2011 @ 10:59:50

    Did somebody actually order “the pizza”??????


    I’ve seen children who ride the short bus grasp the concept that “the pizza” is insufficient information.

    Adult stupidity never ceases to amaze me.


  7. izziedarling
    Jun 15, 2011 @ 13:52:33

    The Entitled suck. I’m such a bitch, I’d mouth off immediately and get fired. When you get these types, whisper that they are being filmed.

    One table out of ten makes me scratch my head…as opposed to one table out of ten being nice at the Harribalsac.


  8. Pyewacketcat
    Jun 15, 2011 @ 16:04:47

    I’m with Izziedarling……….. The entitled OR the wannabe entitled suck.

    The wannabes are worse by far. Their stupid is apparent to everybody but themselves.


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