Back to Business

We were pretty busy on Tuesday night (yeah, I’m behind) and the hostess (who is working on getting her very own post) told me I had 3 people at Table 2.  We don’t have sections, so it is important that the host/hostess tell us when they seat someone, especially at the front tables since they are in a blind spot.

A few minutes later I rounded the corner to greet Table 2 and I saw they were shoveling food in their faces.  I thought maybe she said I had 2 people at Table 3, but Sunni was at that table.  Colour me confused.  I looked on the seating chart and yes, it was 3 people at Table 2.  WTF?!  How were they eating already?

Just then the hostess walked by and I asked her to verify the table.  “Three people at Table 2,” she said.

“But they already have food.  What’s going on?”

“Oh, one of them brought food in with her.”

WTF?!  Who does that shit?

So I went to the table and sure enough, one of the chicks had a chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, and mixed veggies in a go box and she was using our silverware to cram it in her face.  As I was staring at her, completely dumbfounded, one of the other chicks ordered an “Amber pale ale.”

I could have handled myself better, but that was the night Little Napoleon went into surgery, Sunni and I had a big fight in the waitstation, we were busy and I’d had e.n.o.u.g.h.

I snapped, “There’s no such thing as an amber pale ale.  It’s one or the other.”

“Oh.  I’ll have an Alaskan Pale Ale,” she said after she consulted the drink menu again.

Mind you, I’m still staring in awe at the gobbler, and again I snapped, “We have Alaskan AMBER or Old Faithful PALE ALE.  Which do you WANT?”

Then she gave me an expired driver’s license.  By the time she fucked around and dug her real license out of her wallet, I was ready to tell her she was too stupid to have a beer.

I shouldn’t have wasted my time with the drink order.  As soon as I left their table, I told Pro Rodeo about the carry in food and after he got done with them, they made a hasty exit out the front door.

Who does that?  Who on earth thinks it’s okay to bring food into a restaurant and eat it?  Not to mention, the crap she had in the box was a serious downgrade from the food we serve.  And I’ve tried to give the hostess credit, maybe she didn’t know the dumb bitch was going to sit there and eat her slop, but when I questioned her, she knew the woman brought food with her, which sort of proves she’s just as dumb as they are. 

Again, she’s getting her very own post soon.


11 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. skippymom
    Jun 18, 2011 @ 13:47:36

    I can just imagine you standing there, staring in awe at the gobbler while snapping off the names of the beers at stupidzilla. bwahahahaha. Glad they left.

    Me too. I figured they were too stupid to tip anyway.


  2. watergirl
    Jun 18, 2011 @ 17:31:40

    It sounds like the hostess needs to be taught a few things.

    @SkippyMom: stupidzilla – HHAAHHAHAHAHAH!


    Oh, the hostess…

    Stupidzilla was awesome!


  3. Fuck My Table
    Jun 18, 2011 @ 20:23:22

    Wow. That happened at Chili’s a lot and management would never tell them off. Wish they would have; it was fucking annoying.

    Same deal with the Harribalsac. People could do the most fucked up bullshit and we couldn’t say anything for fear of losing a customer. Unless they were stealing from the salad bar. Then we could say something, but if they took offense we got in trouble, and if they took offense, they weren’t going to tip. At the Spaghetti Western, if I don’t think something is right, chances are Pro Rodeo doesn’t either. He doesn’t put up with bullshit.

    Can’t wait for the post about the hostess.

    I might have to kill her.


  4. Rachel
    Jun 18, 2011 @ 20:40:55

    First–no sections? That sounds like a pain in the ass for the servers and the host staff. How does that work?

    It is a small restaurant and we rotate. It means a little more walking, but it’s a relaxed atmosphere so it’s not like you have to be at a table RIGHTNOW! The host has a yellow tablet with our initials and he writes the table numbers down beside them. He tells us as we are seated and we can look at the tablet to make sure we’re on top of our tables. I also enter tables into the computer as soon as they are seated so I can tell at a glance who’s next, who’s ordered and who’s ready to leave. It sounds hard, but it’s a super simple system.

    Second–that is so tacky…who does that? Probably someone so classless that she can’t even order a beer and not fuck up. And it is SAD that the hostess just let them in.

    The hostess is a lazy idiot.

    Third–I hope your nights are getting better!

    Now that my son’s home, things are great!


  5. Sparty Girl
    Jun 19, 2011 @ 07:01:32

    Amazing. I should know better than to think people won’t do stupid stuff, but really, who DOES that?

    I never cease to be amazed at the stupid stuff people do.


  6. DarcsFalcon
    Jun 19, 2011 @ 22:27:36

    Okay, you can’t take your own popcorn into a movie theater and you can’t take your own food into a restaurant!

    The theater people will toss you right out for that so she shouldn’t have been surprised to be tossed from a restaurant.

    Oh my gosh, the things people try to get away with!

    Sorry you and Sunni had a fight. I hope it’s all right now.

    Sunni is a bully with a very large personality. The only person she doesn’t bully is me. Our relationship is like Gus & Call from Lonesome Dove; I’m Gus quietly going about my business and she’s Call telling everyone what to do. Every now and then she forgets herself and attempts to bully me and the fight is on with me in her face screaming and her apologizing rapidly. We get over it pretty quickly. Pro Rodeo thinks it’s funny as hell since he’s never seen anyone put Sunni in her place.


  7. wigsf
    Jun 20, 2011 @ 05:08:16

    Oh yeah. I do that all the time. I always bring McDonalds into Burger King. The BK food is crap but the ambience is to die for.

    BK does have nice lighting.


  8. erica42285
    Jun 20, 2011 @ 11:17:41

    You are wonderfully hilarious! So glad I stumbled across your blog. 🙂 Keep it up!

    Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment!


  9. LS
    Jun 20, 2011 @ 13:38:44

    I wouldn’t dream of taking food from elsewhere into another restaurant.
    It does make me chuckle though — as a kid I would sneak a baggie of candy in my sock into the local movie matinee. 25¢ allowances only went so far for a 9-year-old. 🙂

    When my kids were litttle I’d sneak snacks into the theatre and feel guilty about it for weeks. We would buy popcorn & sodas, but $3 per box of candy was a little much for my tight budget. I won’t even bring a beverage into a restaurant, though.


  10. ann
    Jun 29, 2011 @ 00:08:44

    ahh one of my first tables of the day a few shifts ago was a 3 top (of old folks) who brought their own 44oz big gulps… i was super annoyed at first, taking my sweet sweet time to greet them.. since… well.. its not like i had to take their drink orders…plus i was dealing with my very first table with a “gluten allergy ”
    but after my ass started getting handed to me when the rush came 20 mins later i realized they sure are better than the tap water drinking assholes who expect me to stand next to their table with a pitcher jusincase their drink gets halfway empty and then the “im gonna need another lemon” since i seemingly messed up some lemon juice to chlorine ratio…

    Water with lemon people can kiss my ass. It’s bad enough that you’re cheap, don’t make more work for me.

    Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment.


  11. ann
    Jun 29, 2011 @ 00:14:04

    very first table of that day, i mean… i have a stinkin “gluten allergy ” at least once every couple of shifts

    People with gluten allergies can kiss my ass too. I think it’s just one more way to be needy and draw attention to yourself.


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