The British Invasion

I swear I had every non-tipping British bastard Sunday night. It was as if the Host With the Most screened them while they were waiting for a table. “I hear you have an accent. You must be from Britain. Do you know you’re supposed to tip? No? Well Glory has a table open, she loves British accents.”

 Fuck you.

 Oh, and it wasn’t just the British, I had people from their penal colony too. The only people who tip worse than the British are the Aussies. If they didn’t produce such damn good dogs and Hugh Jackman I’d vote to sink the entire island, or let my Aussie readers hold seminars on Why You Should Tip in America Unless You Want to Swim to New Zealand. 

Good Dog

I left work with 13% (still over a hundred dollars) and a really bad attitude. I was ready to knife the first person who said “G’day mate”.

 And for all my non-tipping British customers: If you aren’t willing to follow our customs, use the money to fix your fucking teeth. At the very least, buy some floss. I’ve had redneck Deliverance people tip me better than you assholes.


12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. dtknuppe
    Jun 29, 2011 @ 09:57:28

    Next time just tuck this map into their menus.

    I might print out a few of these for future British customers.

    Thanks for stopping by!


  2. Rachel
    Jun 29, 2011 @ 11:27:16

    I’ve sometimes wondered if Europeans REALLY have such a hard time figuring out American tipping practices. I understand that tip culture in the US gets overwhelming sometimes (I do not tip the person who handed me my coffee, for example…), but it also isn’t complicated. 20% for good service, adjust up or down according to deviations from that.

    I think they are fully aware of the tipping practices, but don’t give a shit.


  3. DarcKnyt
    Jun 29, 2011 @ 15:01:43

    Maybe they’re trying to convince you they’re tipping Euro. Although the Brits and Aussies don’t USE the Euro…

    I think they are tipping in pesos.


  4. leaner
    Jun 29, 2011 @ 20:23:03

    In my days of waiting tables in AZ, we would get quite a few Canadians during ‘season’. They were bad tippers. But I never really minded waiting on them because they were so loud and funny; and as a rule could drink more beer than you would think was humanly possible. Seriously, they could easily each drink 10 beers in a sitting–like maybe two hours, even the women. And then they’d leave a buck or two. But they were so entertaining I didn’t really care. They were also as a rule, about a decade behind in terms of fashion, but that’s a story for another day…
    It’s just interesting how people from different countries all sort of act the same as their countrymen in restaurants.

    Sometimes a good laugh makes up for a bad tip.


  5. Jen
    Jun 29, 2011 @ 21:29:45

    I think a lot of Europeans come to America for a cheap vacation, especially with how well their currencies are doing against the dollar. And, like all people who like to vacation cheap, they cut corners on things like tipping so they can afford to shop and buy ugly souvenirs.

    Everyone is well aware of the cultural differences in tipping. They are just cheap or ignorant of how much it costs to be wait staff. When I went to Paris, it was customary to leave your change behind; no more than one or two euros. Just a little something extra for good service.

    I also don’t think it is hard to tell who you should tip. If someone has been waiting on you hand and foot all night, he/she deserves a tip!!
    Yeah, there is a difference between eating at Subway and eating at a sit down restaurant. One place you give them your change, the other is where you pay for having someone step & fetch for you.


  6. Saffire
    Jun 29, 2011 @ 23:19:59

    I’m an aussie, it’s rare to tip here because waiters/waitresses actually get paid upwards of $20 an hour. If I were to take a trip to America I’d tip the waitstaff because I know that they’re money comes from tips but I’m sure alot of people from Australia just don’t know. They probably just assume you get paid around the same as people in Australia.

    I’ve visited other countries and I always ask what the custom is. No one should ever be afraid to ask.


  7. DarcsFalcon
    Jun 30, 2011 @ 00:02:24

    What IS it about Brits and teeth?

    On the up side, I bet they make forensic dentistry bite mark identification a snap. 😉

    I hate to stereotype any group, but every Brit I had needed some serious dental work. It was as if Austin Powers was in my section all night long.


  8. wigsf
    Jun 30, 2011 @ 04:11:52

    I know that there is no tipping Australia. But that is no excuse for Aussies traveling to the US. They should learn and understand some of the more routine customs when abroad. It’s not hard. Before you take a trip somewhere, learn a little something about the place you’re traveling to. When traveling, eating out is pretty common, so learn a bit about restaurant dining customs.

    Couldn’t have said it better myself.


  9. JeezLouise
    Jun 30, 2011 @ 04:45:07

    I totally agree with learning a bit about the place you’re going. I’m Australian and know to tip in America, it’s pretty hard not to realise when we get so many American shows and movies. I tip 20% and am quite happy to do so because the food is way cheaper and the service a million times better than home (because waitstaff are actually working for their money). I honestly think they don’t realise how much to tip (my mum thought it was still 10%). I also unfortunately think they know they should tip but don’t and use the excuse that they’re foreign.

    But it definitely goes two ways. My sister was a waiter here and has been bitched at by Americans because we don’t give free refills and you have to pay extra for sauce. There’s shitty people in every country. Unfortunately, the strong Aussie dollar means there’s probably more of us heading your way than the other way around.

    After the first invasion, things got better. Our service is excellent, so it’s hard to excuse a 10% tip.

    We don’t do free refills on flavoured teas, or flavoured sodas. People are shocked when they see their 3 mango iced teas on the ticket. Stop being a pig or pay for what you order. We also don’t give out free sauce. We charge for everything, which is how it should be. If I have to run my ass off to someone’s table with constant requests for more, more, more, I’m going to make sure somebody is making money off it.


  10. LS
    Jun 30, 2011 @ 12:43:46

    Simple solution for our pom friends: “When in Rome…”



  11. Missy
    Jun 30, 2011 @ 18:03:04

    As an Aussie bartender, I have to agree with Saffire, at least in part. I make $25 an hour, but tips are rare. I have gotten them, but the normal tip is someone who tells me to ring up a drink for myself with theirs for when I finnish work. This can work two ways. Either I ring up the drink if I’m planning to stick around after work or I take out however much my normal drink costs from their change before I give it to them and pocket the money. Most of my spare cash goes to alcohol anyway, so I’m sure their money is paying for a drink somewhere down the line.

    I have also worked as a bartender/waitress in America and so know how to tip. I have found a lot of my friends here do not realise that the majority of a servers income in the US comes from tips… they assume they get paid simmilarly to we do here. I’ve been trying to correct this assumption and if anyone I know tells me they are going to the US I make sure they are aware of the need to tip.

    Bartenders usually make more than servers do, but every place is different. Few servers anywhere in America make more than $3 an hour.


  12. Molly Malone
    Jul 18, 2011 @ 12:23:11

    I’m a Brit, and no – we don’t tip in the UK… but I agree – there’s no friggin excuse no to tip here! I ALWAYS leave 20%… unless there’s something really wrong with the service or the food 🙂

    When in Rome…


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