To Hell and Back

The annual ass kicking that is the 4th of July is over.  I have to say, without a doubt, I am completely sick and tired of looking at people.  I’m fed up with the false cheer and the fake smile I wear plastered on my face.  Glory came out to play during the last hour of my shift last night.  I didn’t even pretend to be nice.

The night started slow.  On one hand I was happy because we wouldn’t have the madhouse we’ve had since the 30th.  On the other hand, I was a little bummed about the money.  By 7 o’clock I figured I’d be lucky if I made 50 bucks.  Then I looked at the door and there were about 60 people standing in the doorway and lined up out the door.  The next 3 hours were pure madness.  By 8:30 I figured we’d served most of the people in Cody and I thought I hated them all.  By 9:15 I was certain I hated everyone. 

One woman ordered a decaf cappuccino.  Guess what, you dumb bitch.  Our espresso doesn’t come in decaf.  You either drink the shit that will knock the hair off your twat or you drink regular decaf coffee.  Add to that, making a shot of espresso & foaming milk on a slow night makes me want to slit someone’s throat, don’t even think about it when the dining room is packed.

Another table wanted hot tea after their dessert.  I wanted them to fucking leave.  But being British and all, they had to have a spot of tea.  With milk.  Do you think they could have mentioned that when they ordered the fucking tea?  Of course not.  I had all the time in the world to run my ass off between their table and the waitstation.

I was done being nice.  Done, I tell you.  Done.

By 9:30 my greeting went from “Hello, our dinner special is salmon scampi served on a bed of linguine with salad and Italian bread” to “What do you want, and be quick about it.”  When we finally got the last table out at 10:15, The Worrier said, “Well, that wasn’t fun at all.”  No shit.

I did make more money than I’ve ever made in one shift.  I had a solid 18% night.  I felt a lot better after I counted my money.

On another note…the sexual harassment has started already.  Last night Big Bald Guy complained that he couldn’t get a date.  Al-Quieda asked if I would go out with him.  I asked BBG his age.  Twenty-five.  I told him he was too old for me.  He looked a little dumbfounded.  I told him my last fling was twenty-two.  Al-Quieda smiled big and said, “I’m 22!”  

Later BBG asked if I wanted to come to his house after work for “fireworks”.  He pulled up his shirt and did a dance.  Laughing, I asked Al-Quieda to make him stop.  BBG said, “Oh, I see.  She’s taking you home tonight.”  Al-Quieda said, “She doesn’t need to.  I have a home.”  *eyeroll*



7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. tipsfortips
    Jul 05, 2011 @ 15:42:55

    Just remember that you need to stop is before it gets worse than you want to deal with. It all sounds like harmless kidding at this point, but don’t let it get to the point you are uncomfortable with before saying something.

    It’s just harmless fun and it ends at the back door. I’m not jeopardizing this job.


    Jul 05, 2011 @ 17:19:39

    “EASY GIRL” we certainly don’t want the drama left behiind at the Harribalsac resurfacing here! HAVE FUN!, but “NO INAPPROPPRIATE TOUCHING” 3 more weeks ’til tons of fun! see ya soon!

    No drama here. I won’t allow it. The waitstation is very small and when we’re busy it’s impossible to get around without bumping into each other, or finding your nose in someone’s armpit. I’m constantly yelling, “NO TOUCHING!” or “OUT OF MY WAY!” Everyone is pretty clear about keeping their hands to themselves.

    I’m counting the days. Trust me.


    Jul 05, 2011 @ 17:21:39

    JEEEZ!! did i just spell that with 4 F’ING P’S? DUH?

    Yes, Tiffany, you did, but I fixed it for you. 🙂


  4. DarcKnyt
    Jul 05, 2011 @ 19:01:20

    I had a butt-whipping today, so I can relate. Just a tough week overall.

    Today wasn’t too bad, but it just wouldn’t end. Holy crap.


  5. wigsf
    Jul 06, 2011 @ 10:30:12

    Aww shucks. That means I’m too old for you too.
    My heart is broken.

    There are exceptions to every rule 😉


  6. DarcsFalcon
    Jul 06, 2011 @ 12:38:22

    Counting money always brings good feelings. Especially when it’s more than you expected. 😉

    Glad the rough stuff is over, until the next holiday. 🙂

    The money was good, but all those people take their toll on me. Everyone at work is crabby, too. I think we all need a couple mental health days.


  7. Molly Malone
    Jul 18, 2011 @ 12:19:12

    “Knock the hair off your twat”! Hilarious!!! Nearly choked on my sandwich 🙂

    Both the owners have great sayings that make me laugh out loud.


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