Emo Kid

 Yesterday Crissy noticed some kid standing outside the restaurant reading our special board and wiping letters off.  I went over and knocked on the window, thinking I would startle him and he’d move on.


I knocked again with no result, so I walked outside and found an emo kid…black hair, guyliner, multiple facial piercings, completely wacked out of his mind.  I asked what he was doing.

“I’m making it better,” he told me from somewhere on Planet 9.

“No you’re not.  Leave it alone and go away.”  He reached out and wiped another letter off.

I knew he had to be high on the really good drugs, because few people my age will defy me, let alone a 20 year old.  I pulled the sign off the stand and turned it to face my body.  He tried to get in between me and the sign.

“I want to make it better.  It’s my sign.”

“No, it isn’t your sign and if you don’t go away you can talk to the police about it.”

“I’m making it better.  It isn’t right.”

So if Bitchy Old Woman = Scary, then Bitchy Old Woman + Police Intervention + A Dumb Kid on Drugs should = Downright Terrifying, but he stood there and argued with me.  Crissy, seeing I was having trouble separating the dumbass from the sign called Al-Quieda out of the kitchen and they came out to help me. 

Two Bitchy Old Women and the Taliban still couldn’t get him off the sign.

He was so far out in outer space I’m surprised we could hear him, but he kept insisting he was making the sign better.  Then he told Crissy he was a supporter of the restaurant and she was ruining it by not letting him make the sign better.  She told him she was the owner and he needed to move on.  We finally locked the door to keep him from coming in and playing with the sign.  He stood outside and cried a little before he floated away.


I’m not one for drugs, never experimented much even when I was younger, but damn.  I think I want some of what he was on.  Holy shit.


12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kamui
    Jul 24, 2011 @ 14:27:42

    Maybe you should ask him what he was on if you see him again and he’s not currently playing hopscotch on Pluto.

    I’m sure he’s in jail already.


  2. DarcKnyt
    Jul 24, 2011 @ 17:06:59

    That frightens me. “Guyliner” — AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

    It frightened me as well.


    Jul 24, 2011 @ 21:09:14



  4. Fuck My Table
    Jul 24, 2011 @ 23:16:48

    Damn. High as a kite. Part of that was funny, but it’s kind of scary to think how messed up he must have been to be so focused.

    He was way, way out there.

    I’m having issues at my tutoring office with drunks (patrons of the bar next door, long story) who like to vandalize the brochures and business cards outside my door. This weekend they yanked the whole brochure holder off the wall, ripping the pain off along with it. Very not happy about that, but really fucking pissed about the ruined full-color brochures that we paid for out of our own pockets. I’m tempted to stake out my office and scare the shit out of whoever keeps doing it. Nothing would please me more than to watch his drunk ass piss himself with fright.

    I’m not certain, but I think drunks are the worst.


  5. DarcsFalcon
    Jul 25, 2011 @ 01:06:06

    Guyliner?! LOL That’s good! I’ve never heard that one before!

    I think it came out in reference to Captain Jack Sparrow.

    It sounds to me like drugs + some sort of mental problem. He was getting a bit scary there. I’m glad he finally went away. I wonder where his parents were.

    When I said ‘kid’ I meant a 20 something year old. If he keeps using drugs to that extent, he’ll have mental problems.

    At least you’re okay. 🙂 Now, no more confronting the whack-jobs!

    Of course I’m okay…I had the Taliban backing me up. 🙂


  6. PurpleGirl
    Jul 25, 2011 @ 02:42:11

    Holy fuckin’ ass crackers, what a weirdo!

    You know I’m stealing ‘holy fuckin’ ass crackers,’ right?


  7. skippymom
    Jul 25, 2011 @ 03:53:17

    Wow – there is stoned and there is STONED. If it wasn’t so sad it would’ve been funny.

    It was sad. He was so wasted I’m surprised he didn’t get hit by a car. I’m sure he ended up in jail before the night was over.


  8. wigsf
    Jul 25, 2011 @ 04:11:15

    Some kids just need a hug. Others need the strap.

    He needed his stomach pumped.


  9. Sparty Girl
    Jul 25, 2011 @ 08:34:57

    Wow. Just wow.

    I never imagined I’d see this much crazy on main street.


  10. Rachel
    Jul 25, 2011 @ 10:22:26

    That is so wierd, I don’t even know what to say.

    I was dumbfounded.


  11. Molly Malone
    Jul 25, 2011 @ 12:56:26

    Holy crap… if I had some of what that kid was on, Mondays would probably seem a little more friendly! Not that I would have a job for long though…

    I’ve heard of better living through chemistry, but damn.


  12. laura
    Jul 30, 2011 @ 18:57:22

    I would say, with 100% confidence, that he was shrooming.

    Must have been some really good shrooms.


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